any thoughts? I call and wish an old friend happy birthday every year since high school, (the last time I saw this person) and usually have to leave a message. I normally just get a text message back saying thanks. We were really close in high school, I felt like her big brother. I don't get to talk to her anymore, she got pregnant right out of highschool and that was the end of correspondence with her. any ideas to get back in touch on a more frequent basis without it being creepy?
2007-01-20 11:15:40 · 4 answers · asked by drsuess2cool 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I would start out by saying send her an email---and you deserve kudos for still wanting to be her friend. If she stopped correspondence shortly after becoming pregnant, that shows me she was ashamed of herself and didn't think you would like her anymore--a very common, though usually irrational, fear. Make it clear that you miss her and would like to have the same kind of relationship w. her that you had in highschool. I have a guy who is like a big bro to me, and I never see him anymore (partly because he is in prison), but I do try to keep in contact. Make it clear that you still care about her, regardless as to what she has done with her life. Good luck
2007-01-20 11:21:05 · answer #1 · answered by completenerd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on whether she is in a relationship or not. If she has a boyfriend or husband, it could be a little tricky being able to keep in touch with her.
If she is not in a relationship, I would ask her if she would like to catch a movie or have lunch or some other non-romantic type event. See how she responds to that. If you feel that she is not comfortable with that, then I would just stick to the birthday wishes, as well as other holidays like Christmas, etc. That way you can stay in touch without being intrusive.
If she is in a relationship, then I definitely would just stay with the birthday wishes.
Sometimes people change after high school. Some times other obligations, like raising a child, keep people from keeping in touch. There could be any number of reasons why she does not talk to you much.
Of course, I guess you could always tell her that you miss being able to talk to her because you really valued her friendship. If you do this, don't be pushy about it, and be prepared for whatever her response might be.
2007-01-20 11:29:52 · answer #2 · answered by Seldom Seen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her to hang out or go out to eat. Make sure it's something comfortable & familiar for her. Having a kid right after high school probably made her feel different and alienated, make her feel like herself. Once you are able to get together with her bring up some good memories of when you guys were friends and try to make some kind of regular thing--lunch once a week, some activity (like going to the gym or movies together). Make sure you're not imposing on her current situation (if she's married or with her baby's daddy).
2007-01-20 11:23:06 · answer #3 · answered by KatEyez4 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send a heartfelt , handwritten letter with you e-mail address on it, and be honest with her. (I recently did this to a person who I was good friends with years ago.) Keep in mind your friend might be in a relationship where old friends might be threatening to another person who might be involved.
2007-01-20 11:23:24 · answer #4 · answered by bumppo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋