basically im getting engaged to a turkish man. he is everything i have ever wanted in a man and i know he will make me so happy. ive told my mother about him and all she says is..'he only wants u for a visa'. i know this is not the case at all. he has no interest in comming to the uk WHATSOEVER. she has read bad things about turkish men in magazines and newspapers and is tarring them all with the same brush.
im divorced and 23 years old. my ex husband, who is welsh like me, used to beat me yet she doent tarr all british men with the same brush.
i know its my life and i will marry who ever i want to but it hurts me so badly that mymother wont even give him the bennifit of the doubt. how can i tell her we are getting engaged?
im so lost... and hurt. i love him so much and he loves me.. this is fact! i know shes just concerned but she doesnt need to be. she is slightly racist and doesnt want 'black grandkids'. but hes not black.. hes turkish please help me
thanks
2007-01-20 10:36:14 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Say,"Mom:I'm an adult, and I'll do what I want. Even with that being said, your opinion means the world to me. Please give him a chance, Mom. He's a great person, and if you give him a chance, you will see that. It's so hard for me to deal with you not liking him, cause your opinion means a lot to me. We're getting engaged, and I need you to support us and accept him. Please, Mom. Your opinion means a lot, and I want you to get to know him." :)
2007-01-20 11:23:07 · answer #1 · answered by Abby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, every mother has a right to be worried for her childrens well being, and they are usually too quick to believe rumors. so dont let it get in the way of your relationship with her, because she is not doing it to "screw you over" or "make your life miserable" shes just scarred.
but you need to be smart, you never know who someone really is, no matter how long you know them, or what they "seem" to be. I dont know your exact situation, like anyone on Yahoo, we can only give you support.
do what makes you happy, but always be skeptical, keep your eyes open. and good luck.
2007-01-20 10:43:05 · answer #2 · answered by sobrien 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to marry him marry him...she's prejudice, and there is nothing you can do to change that. Just get on with your life and don't let it get to you. If it does then you can just give her a piece of your mind and make her realise it's your life and you have to live it not her...
Though i agree you have to be cautious about your fiancee, but if you are sure he is someone who wouldn't want to hurt and use you then go ahead with the marraige.
2007-01-20 10:42:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I dated a guy that my family didnt accept...I told them this:
"He's dating me. NOT YOU. I love him but you are not required to love him. He has done nothing disrespectful towards you so why be ignorant? Im going to be with him with or without you're approval. So you can either get with the program or get out of my business..."
It worked...its about being passionate BUT respectful because you dont wanna say something too hurtful and then god forbid, things dont work out, you will be hearing it for the rest of your natural born life!
Good luck sweetie!
2007-01-20 10:42:45 · answer #4 · answered by Jujuchi 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Glad ur not like ur mother. Feel sorry for her b-cus its people like her that are really the "BAD" ones. Im 28 and my mother still tries to control me, When she does that I just stop talking to her completely until she smartens up. She hates my boyfriend too because she says, "He's no good for me" And she even tries taken my kids on me and saying im not getting them back until hes gone from my life. I couldnt get them back either b-cus she went to Child and family services and told them lies about him! He doesnt beat me or anything she just doesnt like him. But yeah, I just stop talking to her whenever she acts like a damn idiot. I love her very much but I'm an adult and she's not gonna have a say on who I date, that's for damn sure.
2007-01-20 10:43:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Buy your mother a nice card and write a note explaining your reasons for loving this new man. Put what your expectations are for this fella that were not met before and why you think this fella will do better. This might help
2007-01-20 10:42:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
As long and you're in love and the relationship is stable marriage is your decision not your mom's. Your first bad experience with marriage probably has her concerned. Let your mom know you've listened to her concerns but plan to go ahead and marry the guy. Tell her you love her but....it's your life.
2007-01-20 10:44:38 · answer #7 · answered by lurkingonthirtyfourthstreet 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
expensive mushy Prisoner, there is one component you ought to renowned which will make existence's journey extra tolerable. right here it is; there is below the solar one and purely one individual you additionally could make chuffed, and you're no longer in charge to make everybody else chuffed, in basic terms the face contained in the reflect. regrettably once you reside below somebody else's roof, you purely ought to roll with the punches various of the time, and say for your self- This too will bypass- and bide it sluggish. while they actually get you down, look contained in the reflect and say "The SOBs will in no way get me down" and draw close in there. the way you navigate by way of this difficulty is making waiting you to be you sturdy and proud. Your mom is something yet your enemy. and you ought to help her enable pass.
2016-10-07 11:30:04 · answer #8 · answered by riesgo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you treat each other with respect, have very good open communication and are both truly in love, its nobodies business but your. Your mom will end up liking your man once she sees that he respects you and makes you happy.
2007-01-20 10:51:57 · answer #9 · answered by LadyRazz 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My mom is a bit crazy, but that doesn't stop me from doing what i want. Of course she won't like it but you are her daughter and she has to except that you are happy with this man. Follow your heart, it's your life, not hers.
2007-01-20 10:42:36 · answer #10 · answered by meeka 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋