when your husband a minister and hurting his wife and misunderstanding her?

Question

why did my husband tell all my bussiness in front of my kids about me and his relationship and try to make me look like a --- hole and he also is a minister for the lord ,he made me so mad i told him i feel like having 10 -to -50 sexual affairs on his butt cause he dont know how to treat his own wife i feel really bad cause i dont liek to say hurtful things but i feel like i was pushed there to say thoses things its not fair i am in a marriage and i cant even get my husband to make love to me or hug or kisss me i feel so lonely and rejected do i have a right to walk away from this without the church judging me .also when i try to talk to him he take what i say and make it look like i dont know what i am saying he get angry and start yelling when you bring out things also acting liek a big ---pls forgive me for using this words and also to say this i am not saying i dont make mistakes cause i do fall short

Answer 1

First of all the people in a church does not have the right to judge you or anybody else for that matter. There is only one judge and that is God, because hes perfect. You do what you think is best for you and your children.

Answer 2

Well you have to understand that yes your husband may be a pastor but he is also a man. It sounds like you both may need marriage counseling. Don't expect him to be perfect because he's a pastor. It's a good thing that you are expressing yourself. Do not feel bad about it. It shows your a good wife that your on the Internet at this site looking for advise. Honey you could be somewhere else looking for advise if you know what i mean. Don't be to hard on yourself. In reference to your question about staying,it's all up to you. It is a marriage but only u know how much you can bear. In reference to him putting your business out in front of the children,I think the both of you should find a place where you can express yourself freely without looking over your shoulders to see if the kids are there. It's really not healthy. Good luck

Answer 3

Minister or not, he's gotta love and respect his wife! The Lord never meant for women to be subservient slaves to their husbands, husbands need to love and provide for and take care of their wife and their needs! You gotta lay everything on the table and tell him exactly what you want, what he has got to do, and what the Lord says about his responsibilities as a husband to you and to your children. Don't lay down and take it just because he is the head of the household, you are in this TOGETHER and must be in one accord in order to survive. You are a TEAM, and he should be treating you as an equal! You tell him that, and you don't let him frustrate you to the point of sinning against yourself, you are better than that!

Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 4

I wouldn't worry about the church judging you. Only God can rightfully judge, and if your husband is treating you the way you are saying, then God will surely judge him. Remember the Bible tells husbands to love their wives as they love their bodies, for a man wants to do what is best for his body, and likewise, he should treat his wife the same way. Also, any man who is a minister of the Lord should know better than to treat you this way. God did not put men over their wives to lord over them, but rather to put men and women together to be helpers and lifemates for each other. Too many Christian men take the Bible out of context and treat their wives as if the wife is supposed to obey them and when the wife disagrees with her husband, he tells her she is sinning or being contentious. God tells husbands to treat their wives well and to love them and cherish them. He tells wives to honor their husbands and show them respect. It's a two-way street - if husbands and wives loved and respected each other, then both are happy. The way your husband is behaving is NOT Christ-like. Yelling at his wife is not the example that Jesus Christ set for the church. I think your husband needs to spend more time in the Bible and in prayer and actually listen to what God is trying to teach him. For you to feel that you have to go outside of the marriage to have your needs met is not good, and your husband should get a clue. Still, if you did that, that would only make your problems worse, and yes, you would be judged by the church for doing that. If you are able to talk to a church elder, or someone who is over your husband and talk confidentially, you should do so, if only to ask if there are counseling resources available to you. People think ministers have it all together, but there is so much stress involved in being a minister, that ministers and their families are often more "messed up" than those they minister to, simply because the stress is so great. If you do talk to someone in confidence, make sure you can trust that person. I am a Christian, but I can tell you, that often times, there are people in a church who have agendas and they can take what you share with them and use it against you. Make sure that whoever you talk to is known for their humility and godly attitude. Either way, how your husband is treating you is wrong. You need to talk to someone about what's going on and find someone who can work with you both to improve your marriage. Best wishes.

Answer 5

If you don't have one, go buy the Power of a Praying Wife book and pray the prayers listed over your husband. The Lord will change his heart from stone to flesh. However, you need to stay as righteous as possible and give your husband respect.

I recommend contacting a godly Christian man and ask him to talk and minister to your husband.

Answer 6

No man, including ministers, have the right to abuse a woman especially their wife. The folks in the church will certainly judge you but they are not the ones who'll determine whether you get into heaven.
Of COURSE you have the right to walk away from the marriage. Tell your husband that either the two of you go to counseling or he or you are going to leave. Please don't let the abuse continue. There is help available.

Answer 7

understand you totally I’m also a pastor wife and it get hard sometime dealing with life issues and on top your husband and family I am a mother of 3 (2 boys and 1 Girl ages: 2-1- and 8mon) WOW” what I have learn is to just pray and be quiet I know that hard to do LOL but try it. And, let Jesus working it out please no I’m not saying to let him walk all over you but be the woman God call you to be. Be that mother/Wife God call you to be and focus on your relationship with Jesus and your self learn how to love your self inside out because it take a wonderful woman of god to be with a Pastor /Minster and you will be okay if you need someone to talk to you can always email me any time
Always your sister in Christ Kai……….

Answer 8

Joanna,first off your husband cannot do anything to you that you do not allow...I don,t know f these kids are yours and his or just yours because you did not say...I do know the Bible says for a man not to withhold his body from his wife,so if he is doing this then he is sinning...If these are your children and not his tell them how you feel,and even if they belong to both of you still tell them..It sounds like your husband is dealing you out some mental cruelity..If you do not want to be with your husband you don,t have to stay with him,it is ok to leave him if you don,t want to be with him...If any church people ask you why,tell them the truth,if not just leave it be....You do not have to put up with abuse like this....God knows what he is doing,and hes wrong.....

Answer 9

God forbids one man to judge another. Only god is allowed to judge. And if your husband is truly acting as you say, then he is no minister of God

Answer 10

Talk to another misinster at another church if you want to know about that part of this but get a divorce!! No person should have to endure emotional or physical abuse!!