My husband always says he loves me and there has never been a lack of love or affection or communication or even sex but why does he still get attracted to other women. What am I doing wrong? If he loves me so much then why does he get attracted to other women. By the way, he has told me he was attracted to other females from time to time. But he swears he won't cheat.
2007-01-20 10:24:50 · 42 answers · asked by Amber26 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There attracted to them when there not married..lol?
2007-01-20 10:27:11 · answer #1 · answered by tignisher77 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are married men attracted to young single women? Why do they cheat on their wives? I'd say the more messed up person in the situation would be the man. Some women are just immature and like these things-- not all, or most women for that matter. Most women are smart enough to know that if a guy is going to cheat on his wife, he won't make a very good mate. Just because the skank population stands out more, doesn't mean most of us are like that. That's not even close to being true.
2016-03-14 08:51:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait, are you serious. Men like womEn, that will never change. Tell me how the placement of a ring on the left ring-finger could ever in a thousand lifetimes change millions of years of instinct and human sexuality. He loves you very much and that is what is important. He will ALWAYS be attracted to other women, that will never change. He is MOST attracted to you though. If you harp on this too much, you are not only going to drive yourself crazy, but you will possibly push him away with your jealousy. I guarantee that you find other men attractive as well. Are you going to sit there and tell me that the day you said "I do", you immediately began seeing every member of the opposite sex as not attractive? So, I know that you're going to give the ten points to some chick that tells you he's a pig or something else you want to hear, but just remember that I speak the truth. He loves you very much, inside and out, but a good-looking person is a good-looking person, and if he didn't think so he would be either lying or gay.
2007-01-20 10:33:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, I know how you feel. I wish it was different, but, it is normal for people to be attracted to other people, even when they are happily married.
To be really honest...are you sure you don't sometimes find other men attractive? I know I do.
I guess, in an ideal world, once we were in love, we would just be true to each othert forever.
But the biology of the human being states that we will still be attracted to others.
The main thing is that he is faithful to you - that's great. Enjoy it and accept it.
Good luck xx
2007-01-20 10:30:38 · answer #4 · answered by Suzita 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a mix between hormones, habit, circumstance, and possibly a lack of challenge/feeling of you being 'ordinary.
Hormones, from both himself and released by women around a certain time, will cause a chemical desire to look. There is no emotion attached to this surveillance and should never make you worried about still being loved. Love and sex are different- one is soul, one is instinct. They only go together because with love comes the desire to meet each other's needs and sex is a chemical need, therefore, you meet it.
Habit, it's as simple as that. Once a hunter, always a hunter. If he had a hard time with women when he was younger, he could be used to sizing up whatever comes by, constantly analyzing without meaning to. You can admire someone's attributes without putting them above the one you're with. Sometimes men will actually compare other women to their wives to prove to themselves that they have the best, and in doing so see attractive traits in other women that their wife may NOT have, but is not enough for more than an "Oo, she's attractive" response for a moment.
Matters of circumstance play a role, too. As a wife, I'm sure you do not have the time nor money to pamper yourself to perfection and wear provocative clothes all the time. Your husband, if he works, is out and around every day. The chances of him seeing at least one woman a day in perfect condition is very high- he wouldn't know if every other day that women wore sweatpants and a tshirt and never combed her hair because the one day he sees her, she looks good. He is attracted for that moment, but any man in his right mind would not pursue it past a simple look for the sake of eyecandy. It's a matter of circumstance- she looks good, so he looks. So long as he doesn't touch, it should be okay.
If he's looking CONSTANTLY while WITH you, I'd worry. If he sees a woman in a skintight jumpsuit on a motorcycle, I'd expect any man to look. It's just the pizazz of the unordinary and exciting, which brings me to my last point-
Not being challenged/ being seen as 'normal'. When you're married, you become a permanent fixture of each other's lives. This nonstop contact makes the wife feel 'normal' to the husband, ordinary, mundane. Things on the "outside", women he doesn't know or just see walking by, can spark tiny moments of taboo thoughts. Who doesn't want a little spark every now and then? Any man in their right mind would not really PURSUE these taboos in real life, but to tell a man that he's not allowed to dream is just cruel.
Do you think he would be jealous of your dreams of Brad Pitt feeding you chocolate covered strawberries? I doubt he'd say anything. If you saw a tall handsome stranger, you wouldn't think about him looking at you for a moment, just for that little feeling of taboo? If you deny this, you're only lying to yourself.
People like new, they like challenging, they like to feel special. Do something spontaneous, you'll get his attention real quick.
My point is, don't WORRY. Worrying makes you a miserable, less attractive, boring, and annoying person. Don't be a worrier, nobody will like you. Be carefree, be spontaneous, be a pleasant person and he'll notice. The better of a person you make yourself, the less he'll look even out of habit, and you'll see that you had nothing to worry about from the beginning.
2007-01-20 11:20:11 · answer #5 · answered by Asuka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. It can be very frustrating. At least he's being honest with you. That's a good sign that he's being honest with you about not cheating also. It's the ones who lie and say they don't look that you have to worry about, because they all look. You could look like Carmen Electra or Pam Anderson, but if Anggelina Jolie walked into the room he would be attracted to her. It sucks, I know, but it will never change.
But to make you feel better, maybe you should look more at the guys....not to cheat, but just look. There are some really hot ones out there!!!
2007-01-20 10:38:19 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing sweetie he's healthy male. you wouldn't want him a door mat and low sex drive. You too still find men attractive just cause your married doens' t mean you dont' see anyone else attractive. This is normal. for both sexes and your not doing anything wrong. Just like other things in life you buy a car but you see another one you like or you buy one outfit and you end up likeing others . doesn't mean he'll leave you though. he has eyes and likes beauty just as you do. he has told you he wouldn't cheat and lets hope he means that but whatever happens down the road take each day as it comes.
2007-01-20 16:59:31 · answer #7 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you find Brad Pitt attractive? If you do, does that mean your hubby is not attractive? Are you planning to cheat on him? You should give him kudos for having the balls to be honest with you. Most men have to look when you're not paying attention. But men DO look, and women do too... It's not dishonesty. It's realism.
2007-01-20 10:29:31 · answer #8 · answered by oceanblue_007 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men are attracted to many women whether they are married or not. It's nothing to worry about. It's nature.
2007-01-20 10:29:28 · answer #9 · answered by groovygirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because someone is married doesn't mean they are dead. Being attracted to women is not cheating, he appreciates women obviously and there is nothing wrong with that. You need to find out why you are so insecure.
2007-01-20 10:39:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It must be something that is programed into us at birth. Maybe something to do with survival of the species. I do know that i am married to the most beautiful,kindest hearted woman on the planet and i am still attracted to other woman. I would never cheat on her and i wouldnt want her to read this answer because i dont want to hurt her,even after all this when i see an attractive lady i am curious, the lord did a fine job on the day of yalls creation.
2007-01-20 10:33:43 · answer #11 · answered by wideyedopen 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋