My husband and I have been together for over 13 years and have 3 kids. For about two months he has hardly been home. His hours at work have gotten longer and when he is home we dont even talk. He will go to another room to be away from us or will leave.He even stays in the living room watching T.V at night and won't come to bed till I'm asleep. We both work full time and I go to work earlier than him so, on the days that I'm not home he goes in late everyday, but on Saturdays when I'm home he rushes to get there an hour early. He even came home a few weeks ago with claw marks on his back, but when I asked him about it all he said was that he scratched it at work and if he knew it was there he wouldn't have took his shirt off. What should I do?
2007-01-20 10:21:13 · 21 answers · asked by Jt 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
what should you do? talk to him...have a serious talk with him...And don't attack him or else he will lie...maybe he will be honest.
2007-01-20 10:24:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move to Michigan- I just read they've made adultery punishable by law! Because you have children, I'm sure you're reluctant to consider divorce. But consider this: your children are learning that it is okay for a woman to be treated this way. Not all men cheat, just the selfish ones. And let's face it, honey, he's cheating. Any guy that gives such lame excuses for having scratches on his back and doesn't even try to hide them?!?!?ugh. He's flaunting it. Contact a lawyer and get some realistic ideas as to what you could come out of a divorce with, because if he's done it once, he'll do it again as long as you put up with it. I really hope this helps you.
2007-01-20 19:07:27 · answer #2 · answered by scouseryank33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Scratches on his back, huh? Call an attorney, honey, OK? If you're strapped for funds, call your local government to ask about available pro bono legal services. Maybe even contact the law school of a nearby university. Maybe some of the students would offer advice.
I know this seems surreal and like the worst thing ever to happen in your life -- and I'm sure it really is -- but know this: People go through this every day. You're not alone. Fifty percent of marriages result in divorce. It happens.
2007-01-20 18:29:17 · answer #3 · answered by macguffin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating or not, this doesn't sound like a marraiges. Have you asked him why he's avoiding the rest of the family?
Regardless, if he doesn't want to ever spend time with you, I would imagine it's making you pretty miserable.
Sounds like it's time for a serious talk and maybe a divorce or separation.
The scratches on the back, though. Honey - please!
2007-01-20 18:47:17 · answer #4 · answered by Shrieking Panda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him why he is avoiding you. Don't accuse him of anything just yet, but tell him you dn't think things are right between you because of his actions and being emotionally absent. See what his reaction is. He may not realize what nhe's doing. Maybe he's just tired for some reason. Or maybe he is not really emotionally involved in the relationship at this point. But just wait to see what he says.
2007-01-20 18:28:54 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Nae-
Ok...the claw marks is a sign....I think it is time that you and he talked...Sensibly...and just ask....You know...I will not lie to you...He probably is...BUT you know what??? It can be worked out...OK???? You both just have to re-establish that communication and find out *why* he is, and what you and he can do to fix it...All is not lost..
I will tell you though, do not go after him with a meat cleaver or anything like that.. If you love him, then give an opportunity to make it work......Trust in that ok?
Good luck dear.
tahiti
2007-01-20 18:27:10 · answer #6 · answered by tahitidreamz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him out right. You should be able to tell if he is lying. If he is having an affair leave him. You dont need to be with a cheater regardless of the fact that you have kids together.
2007-01-20 19:06:33 · answer #7 · answered by chemky1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds suspicious to me. He may not be cheating, but it is obviously that he currently does not enjoy your company. That may change at some point in the future.
If you suspect him to be cheating, I would recommend that you do not have unprotected sex with him. Whoever he may or may not be having sex with might have an STD. So if he is cheating, you would be a victim twice over: once for the cheating, and another for any STD (AND many STD's stay with you for life) that he may transmit to you.
2007-01-20 18:26:33 · answer #8 · answered by marianne 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Discreetly check your cell phone records. Has he changed the way he dresses, any grooming habits? Even if it is slight to the eye, it could mean something. Get a friends car and follow him.
Just prepare yourself for what you may find out.
2007-01-20 18:28:51 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Claw marks from work? What, he's working with cats? Sounds like he's cheating. Avoiding you is bad enough, and if he's not interested to have sex with you anymore, it is really clear that he gets it else where.
2007-01-20 18:41:03 · answer #10 · answered by Speck Schnuck 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is avoiding u and thinking about what to do about her. he clearly doesn't want to be there anymore, listen to your intuition it is never wrong, when we can't trust anything else we can trust it. think he is cheating and feeling guilt, and doesn't quite know what he really wants to do about her. he is avoiding u because it is hard to look min u in the eyes as he knows in his heart he is doing wrong, but think he knows that eventually u will be confronting him about it, which is exacly what u need to do. better to know and get whatever is going to happen over with now, and be able to hopefully make a decision, as u can't go on like this. he just doesn't want to be there, and it shows in his actions.
2007-01-20 19:03:54 · answer #11 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋