Please Help!!?

Question

i have a grandson whom i had to raise for a short while when he was first born as his mummy wasnt well she had depression and did not want him i looked after him for 13 months and the bond was made i have tried time and again to try and get him to attach more to his mum even going to parenting classes with my daughter, but he is know 6 yrs old and his mummy who has two other children has still got what it takes to love him as i do, i am not judging her but she treats him so different to her other two children and his daddy is just a big bully i am afraid to go to social service or anything like that as if they took him and his siblings away i would never get over it i love them all so much but it causes me so much pain, they use him as a weapon if he is good he gets to stay at my house, if not he doesnt but he has behavioural problems and it is now i am suffering because i havent seen him for two weeks not long you may think but it is tearing my heart out what do i do ? genuine answer

Answer 1

try talking to ur daughter and get her to realize what she is doing to ur grandson...she might not have a clue...if that doesnt work then i would go and talk to a lawyer or children services..neglect is neglect no matter how u look at it or in who's eyes u look at it in i wish u all the luck in the world

Answer 2

How sad for you, it's just not right. This happens a lot, and it mixes up these children something awful. The children truly do not understand why the mom does not love them like their supposed to, and the little kids can sense it. They feel the love though from the people who have raised them. The mom wasn't around to feel the "bond" a mom and child get when the child is born. But you did! But it also was not her fault. BUT the child is suffering, so now what??? The child is the most important here! The child has been back with the mom since 13 mos. and still has not found a loving place with her? I would recommend therapy, the sooner the better. I am not too sure Social Services will help, unless the child is being abused-which would have to be proven. Good luck!

Answer 3

What a horrible situation for you to find yourself in. I think you did a wonderful thing with your little grandson. I wonder if you would be able to speak to the mother as the father doesn't sound approachable. I wonder if she treats him differently because he was the 'cause' so to speak of her terrible depression. It may seem strange but parents often unwittingly blame children for things the child couldn't possibly be blamed for. Also, as she missed the bonding part of the babyhood, perhaps she actually does feel differently about the boy? A loving chat with her without blame or judgement might help the mother to say out loud what she needs to say. I have a friend whose husband is a bit of a bully too and especially to his children and step child. Its hard to watch but as long as it isn't abusive then you have to step back. They are a family and perhaps you wouldn't be so involved if it hadn't been for your grandson staying with you. You should also think about ringing regularly if you can't see them. Make excuses, be jolly and keep the conversations quite short. It might help to keep your mind at rest. I wish you joy and wisdom.

Answer 4

This is avery difficult one to answer.As you have looked after him then you are entitled to see him? Maybe you could talk to social services and ask for advice on this issue.It does not mean that they would take him away just come up with some suggestions. All the best.

Answer 5

Try to do what is best for the child. Possibly contact Citizens Advice or maybe Social Services
Good luck