Trouble at work - How can I get revenge? We work in dif't wings of the same bldg. I don't know her home adrs/#

Question

I emailed a coworker telling her that I was uncomfortable w/ some changes that she suggested I make on a proposal and that I was planning to meet w/ my project partner to discuss the new changes. When she replied, she cc'd my project partner and my boss, stating that she was in disagreement w/ me submitting those changes w/o her first reviewing them and that she disagreed w/ me holding this meeting. I was very insulted that she would suddenly cc these people when I didn't cc them on my initial email to her. And for her to say that she must first review the changes and that I shouldn't meet w/ partner until I spoke to her (like I'm some kind of child) was very insulting b/c it was like she was "correcting me" publicly.

I won't have to work w/ her in the future after next week. We work for the same company in dif't wings of the bldg., but she's good friends w/ my boss, so I'm wondering if there might be fall-out from our disagreement. Bottom line is I want revenge. What can I do?

Answer 1

If you do ANYTHING to her, your boss will be the first to hear about. Then you'll have 2 people you don't get along with. I think the other woman was mad because you didn't offer to include her in the meeting to discuss changes.

Your best bet is to reply to her, cc the others as before, and let her know with firm confidence that while you appreciate her input, you are fully capable of doing this project. Say "I understand we're in disagreement regarding these changes, that is precisley why a meeting is so important. We would like you to attend as well.

You could also say something like "I understand you haven't worked with me before, and aren't aware of my capabiltiies." Or something like that, to gently let her know she doesn't know what she's talking about.

Answer 2

Three important things to think about:

1. Your boss determines how you should do your job. So, you could start by taking the email and discussing it with your boss. Try to put your feelings aside. Start the conversation out with: "I want to do the best job I can." Find out how your job feelings about these project change issues. If he agrees with the "coworker" she did nothing wrong. In fact she was helping you.

2. Living well is the best revenge. People that add your boss as a cc are usually jerks. Everyone will probably figure this out in the long run. Do a great job, have a good time at work every day. Impress everyone with how hard you work, and how much you accomplish. That way, if you ever butt heads with her again, people will automatically be on your side.

3. I love the proverb: "If you set out for revenge, first dig two graves." If you really go after revenge, the second grave is for you, babe. In other words, almost anything you do to "hurt" your co-worker will rebound on you, and cause you more harm in the long run. Instead, forget about her, do your best, and establish your reputation as someone that gets along with everyone, and keeps her calm, even in tough situations.

Good luck!

Answer 3

You can go one of two ways but I would take the latter of the two:

1.Don't take revenge, just avoid her as much as possible and by your time then change departments, roles, or jobs.

2. Confront her diplomatically. Follow the "Crucial Conversations" guidelines and make it a win-win situation for everyone.

There has to be a reason why she is acting that way, perhaps she is seeing as a good point to mentor you. Or perhaps she has opinions that she wants to be heard but doesn't know the right approach or method to do it in.

Some people really are either socially challenged and don't know the difference between right and wrong, those people all I can recommend is stay away from them. Or there are some people who are 'human' and there is a reason for their behaviour.

I would suggest reading this book. There are some tools that may help you. It has helped me a great deal in my personal life and my career.

I wish you best luck!

Answer 4

Best advice--leave it alone! Don't seek revenge--the upside is not worth the risk of the downside. In other words, if the situation is already bad, why risk making it worse by seeking revenge. What if she finds out that you did whatever (keyed her car, or sugar in her tank, whatever). That would just make your situation worse. AND, she's good friends with your boss?!?! Either work it out with her and resolve the situation, or leave it alone. Revenge is NOT an option here. Sorry, I know this is not what you WANT to hear, but it is what you NEED to hear. Keep your head up and learn as you go. You'll meet all types at work--some will play nice and some will break all the rules. You have to learn to work with all of them. Good luck!

Answer 5

Follow company policies regarding making changes. Go through
the proper chain of command and do whatever company
policy dictates. That way your boss won't have any reason to
come back to you later. Ignore the woman because she sounds
like a control freak and has management issues. Forget this
revenge thing. Revenge always comes back around and bites you in the rear. She isn't worth it. If your partner hasn't suggested you run everything by her, and your boss hasn't
said anything then don't sweat it. Just do your job.

Answer 6

I would let this go at work. You don't want to jeopardize your job or your good standing with your boss. Be the bigger person and let it go. Outside of work, however, is another story. Why don't you play some kind of joke on her? Check out a website called prankplace.com you'll find all kinds of funny things you could do.

Answer 7

I think you answered your own question.

She is obviously going to be a part of your manager's worklife. You need to find a way to work around this, or find another job or seek a transfer.

Answer 8

I suppose you could umm... give her a flat tire or maybe throw some water on her right in front of everyone or OOO OOO!!! Tell her she looks FAT in those pants! That will teach her a lesson for sure!!

Answer 9

grow up