She keeps pushing me away.. What do i do?
2007-01-20 07:32:54 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Be nice to her and eventually she will get over it.
2007-01-20 07:37:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She lost a child. People don't "Get over" EVER from losing a child. People have this idea that the women will be better 2 weeks later after having a miscarriage, and it isn't like that at all. Even physically it takes a massive amount of time for the body to get the hormones strait...even more so if she needed a D and C. I am speaking from experience when I talk about this too.
If you are talking about "physically" pushing you away when you want to make love, then that could be explained that she may have fear. Fear that she could get pregnant again and it turns out the same way as the miscarriage. Fear from her body. Fear that she let you down by losing the baby.
My advise is to TALK to her to find out what is bothering her. When you DO talk to her use a lot of "I feel" words...like "I feel like (you insert the words) when (what is bothering you) happens." Also she may need to set some boundaries if she is afraid. This doesn't have to deal with you, but my guess is it has to deal with her loss and the feelings that she is feeling.
Women who have had miscarriages will never get over the loss...but the loss doesn't stay as strong the more time that goes on. Time does heal all wounds.
2007-01-20 15:49:09 · answer #2 · answered by hera 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
help her understand that 1out of 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage. It's your body way of saying that there was something wrong. It's better that this happened, than to go through an entire pregnancy, birth, and start raising the child and then something terrible happens like SIDS or Lukemia. Explain that maybe that happend for a reason. Just think of how much she will love and appreciate the babies you WILL have. If it's been over 4 or 5 months and she doesn't seem to be getting better, maybe she could go to a support group. If it's just been a couple months give her some time and she will soon come to grips with it.
2007-01-20 15:49:48 · answer #3 · answered by amanda f 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had one 4 years ago this march and the one thing that bothers me to this day is that my husband would not be around me when it happened. He said he didn't like to see me in pain, but I felt alone and abandoned. I still cry over it and my husband gets made at me. I don't know why but I think that's the worst you can do. Loosing a baby is very hard. First, if she wants to be alone let her, BUT let her know that you are there for her and will listen if she needs to talk or have a good cry. Second, don't get mad at her if she cries, even if it is like 3-4 years from now. I still haven't gotten over mine and it seems to be worse when I am pregnant because I am afraid I will relive it all over again. Let her know that you love her and the baby very much and you are trying to heal as well. And if she ever wants to talk or needs you, let her know that you will be there no matter what. That's what I would want. Best of luck and I am sorry for both of yours lost.
2007-01-20 16:19:20 · answer #4 · answered by kristin h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry. My ex step mom miscarried a few times and it's hard for her. Her first husband and father made her have an abortion when she first got pregnant, so it did something damaging to her physically. She tried to have kids after that but never succeeded. She miscarried a couple of times. It's still hard for her if she thinks of it. She was a great mom to me, she treated me like her own and was a better mom to me than my own mom. Hopefully, your wife's case will be different and she will conceive again. She needs time, it's not easy and it's disappointing. Tell her you want to be there for her and that you want to keep trying. If she can get pregnant, it will make it a bit easier. If anything, adoption is an option. Don't lose hope.
2007-01-20 15:49:26 · answer #5 · answered by I am a Muppet 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The saddest thing about a miscarriage is that there is no greeting card that says so sorry for your loss, there is no funeral or accepted time of mourning. You are expected to just pick up like things are normal and go on, but as a woman who was carrying the baby, that baby was real to you, it was something you looked forward to, something you loved.
The best thing you can do is give her some space. Bring her flowers, tell her how sad you feel too. Talk to her about how she is feeling and see if she is blaming herself or even you for the miscarriage.
Maybe you could talk to your doctor about it, maybe she is out of balance hormonally.
Good luck, this type of thing is never easy.
2007-01-20 15:43:04 · answer #6 · answered by toomeymimi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She won't "get over it". Her baby died. And along with the death of that baby, all the hopes and dreams she had for that baby died too.
This isn't like a broken arm, cast it and it will be better in 6-8 weeks. She is grieving. And whatever you do, don't tell her it will get better. It doesn't. But it does get different and she will find it a little easier in time. Just be there to hold her hand. And love her.
2007-01-20 16:11:46 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mourn with her, your baby technically DIED. Show some remorse. Hold her, cuddle her, tell her you're here for her and that you're hurting too. See men don't understand because you don't physically go through it. I have and it feels like your soul is leaking out of your body; she's dealing with emotional, spiritual and physical issues right now. Everyday leave lil notes or cards saying in time we'll try again. She will come to in time; Healing a wound or heart takes time. Just be there.
2007-01-20 15:53:05 · answer #8 · answered by zpoetress 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just try to be supportive it is just as hard for the hormones to recover as it is if you carry to 40 weeks I am sorry !! It must be devastating for you guys . She just needs time to get over it counseling may help and if you are willing to go with her she may be more apt to accept it mourning a miscarraige is just as sad as mourning any other death god bless
2007-01-20 15:45:30 · answer #9 · answered by tasha l 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had 2 miscarriages before and I understand how she feels. Give her some time to grieve and be there for her when she is ready to talk about it. Maybe you should take a weekend trip with her to get away and relax. I am sorry to hear about the lost
2007-01-20 15:56:45 · answer #10 · answered by uniqaznmeg 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is probably her way of dealing with the greif. It might not be the best way but it might be her way. If you think its hard imagine how shes feeling. She's probaly blaming herself & is having a hard time. Just give it time to heal.
If you wanted the baby then try and have another. Good luck!
2007-01-20 15:47:23 · answer #11 · answered by lori 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋