im in total confusion.my husband was in europe and we made a marriage certificate which his brother signed in his place so i can meet him there.I have known him since 2000,we dated twice but broke up cos,i left him for someone else.Last year he came back and i decided to consider dating him again he is a great guy,very caring and loves me and will do anything for me.he had always remained a friend to me even when we broke up.Well let me say out of gratitude i decide to date him,i like him,but things just went so fast,we,re african in less than six months he paid my brideprice and im well his wife.I thought i loved him,till i met someone else,someone who totally swept me off my feet.I know i should have been faithful,stayed away from another man,but i realised that i didnt really love my husband.The other man loves me too,wished things were different,but what do i do now.Im with a great guy whom i dont love but i feel guilty about leaving him,what do itell everyone,no one understands,
2007-01-20 07:10:18 · 21 answers · asked by ladyt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Find a divorce lawyer-- seriously. I wouldn't do this on your own because it sounds like there's quite a bit of money tied up in this and you might find yourself penniless unless you have a good lawyer.
2007-01-20 07:15:25 · answer #1 · answered by Lucid Dreamer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is going to come down to what you feel is right.If you think this new guy is the one the break it to your husband and hope he can take it.But,if you think that ur husband deserves a shot,then give it to him.But, dont do anything drastic until u can feel comfortable with what you are doing.And if you're lucky,your husband will still be your friend.But,this time,don't rush into the marrage too early.Wait atleast a year or two because you really need to know the person and be sure you are going to be happy together for as long as you can make it last.
2007-01-20 15:17:22 · answer #2 · answered by Wes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't divorce. What you feel about the new guy is eros lust
(you are IN LOVE with the new guy) but
what you feel about your husband is affection is trueLOVE.
The enthousiasm that you feel for the new guy will go away and then you
will feel for him like you do now for your husband... And then what...
You will find someone new to fall in love again?
How sure are you that the new guy really wants you. What if all that is
happening just because you are with someone else and when you
get divorced he (the new guy) will leave you. Many people want what
they can't have but when they have it they don't want it anymore.
Or what if the fact that you will divorce your husband will make him think
that you will also leave him one day and that might make him get away
from you. And then you will have loosen both.
If you don't have any serious problems with your husband I would tell
you to stay with him. It is very difficult in our days to find someone good,
someone that can understand you and accept you the way you are.
To find true love... And your husband have proven that he truly loves you
all those years that he waited for you. That's my opinion. The decision is yours.
2007-01-20 15:28:06 · answer #3 · answered by BettyBoop! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your gonna get some nasty responses to this one.
Of course you should never have married this poor guy in the first place, but whats done is done.
No reason to keep hurting your husband, because obviously you whole heartedly believe that you dont even want this marriage to work. Figure out whats more important... this other guy you love or the understanding of everyone else. Becuase you cant get both...
2007-01-20 15:14:07 · answer #4 · answered by Christines256 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The worse thing to do is to continue lying to yourself and him. As time goes on, you'll only make matters worse. Just be honest about how you feel. I'm pretty sure he would appreciate that more than finding out one day that you don't love him and that someone else is keeping your attention.
2007-01-20 15:13:38 · answer #5 · answered by ??? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got to agreed with the person before me, you are extemely confused and thus seem to be unfair to both the guys. And how can you tell the second was in love with you? I thought you just met him.
2007-01-20 15:22:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are only legally married by law if you got married with the justice of the peace ! You should not have played with the heart of this man! He is to good for you
2007-01-20 15:13:47 · answer #7 · answered by silverearth1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You better make sure about your feelings. Only you know if you love him or not. Thy thinking about life without him. If you think it is what you want then be honest and tell him. Trust me though be sure before you do anything drastic. Just be as fair and honest as possible.
2007-01-20 15:38:52 · answer #8 · answered by heather b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow thats terrible. You should be ashamed of yourself. Maybe you should leave the men alone until you can make up your mind about what you really want, because I don't think you have a clue.
2007-01-20 15:13:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell your husband that you don't love him with your whole heart. Next time just make sure that you are really ready for something that serious before you do it.
2007-01-20 15:13:13 · answer #10 · answered by Angel H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋