I've been so stressed out in the past month or so because of this. The only reason I haven't blown his cover is because the affair is done, and I have one brother a couple years younger than me who id on't want to hurt, alongside my mom of course. I'm 21 btw. I'm also in university and need to get top marks in the next 6 months or so to move on to graduate school, and I know this distrubance if let out might sidetrack me. Is this selfish of me? I'm just continuing to carry the burden, waiting for some of my schooling to finish.
2007-01-20 07:08:45 · 10 answers · asked by anonymous200419 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Talk to a guidance counselor about this. If you want, you can send your father an anonymous tip that you know about it and will inform his wife. Hopefully, he will realize that he can't get away without people finding out and will stop. There's nothing you really can do to stop it otherwise and it's not really your place to break the marriage.
Good Luck!!!
2007-01-20 13:53:39 · answer #1 · answered by KB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The affair is "DONE"?? Assuming you have a brother a couple years younger than you that you don't want to hurt? That would make him 19. It's not like them separating is going to hurt your brothers homelife. He is a big boy and can take care of yourself? Who is taking care of your mother? How do you know it is "DONE" ?? Does your dad know that you know? You are in a tough situation! BUT if you set school aside what would you do? Do you think you should tell your mom? If your boyfriend was cheating on you and your mom knew would you be okay with her NOT telling you? Is it okay if your dad is with this woman and bring her home a disease? Then you can risk them both being dead? Yes that's okay cause your life will be set. You'll have your job and education. GOOD LUCK!
2007-01-20 07:20:58 · answer #2 · answered by Freddie F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, Hun, this is not your burden to carry. You need to meet with your Dad, get this out in the open. Tell him what you know and tell him, force him if you have to to tell you Mom. He has to be the one to do it, not you. I don't care if you have to say you will tell her what you know/saw but he has to agree to tell her himself. Be there for your Mom and younger brother if they need you but don't let your father off the hook, it will eat you night and day. Your studies are not the only thing that will suffer if you let this continue, you will start treating your Mom differently, without meaning too, she will pick up on the friction between you and your Dad, even if you don't think there will be one, it will be. I know because you are already upset enough to write it here. Your brother may even say something innocently that will cause you to react and everyone will ask why you are doing so. Just clear the air with your Dad now before it's too late
2007-01-20 07:21:17 · answer #3 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Given your age, I assume your parents have a long-term marriage. The affair is over, correct? Was this a one-time thing (as opposed to a string of affairs over the years)? Does your father seem to regret his actions? Do you believe he won’t do it again? If so, then what purpose would telling Mom serve other than to hurt her? I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve to know, but you need to think about it long and hard. AND, it needs to be DAD that tells her.
2007-01-20 07:27:02 · answer #4 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try talking to a best friend about it just to get it off your chest. pic a woman. there good at listening and they wont try to fix the problem like us guys always want to do. u need to get this in the open with someone so u can concentrate on school. then when summer hits and ur done for a while. go back sit down with your dad. and if u to cant come up with something like him coming clean on his own. then you have to decide if ur going to talk to your mom. as much as you love your dad she has the right to know. i come from divorce. and i learned early on that it sux but sometimes you have to take a side. but right now find a woman talk and get through school
2007-01-20 07:16:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you need to get it off your chest, you should tell you Dad you know, and that you feel he should tell your mom...but if it s easier on you to wait until summer or whatever, I don't think there is anything wrong with that since the affair is done.
2007-01-20 07:16:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not selfish of you. This knowledge will sidetrack you. It will make you feel guilty as time goes by. You need to talk to your dad and he needs to fess up. This lie will affect your relationship with your mother,father,sibling etc.
2007-01-20 07:14:46 · answer #7 · answered by Shanan D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't let him get away with it, if you don't tell your leaving him in the dark thinking he will never get cough cause he's too smart, the sooner you can tell your mom the batter it is for you, your dad and your mom, if you no and don't tell you i cheating with him too, cause you old your mom that at least you old it to your self believe me if you don't tell and keep it your are gonna look at your dad differently Rather than you get it out work it together.
2007-01-20 07:29:26 · answer #8 · answered by celi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your father and let him knwo whats on your heart in a respectful way God is able to heal your family
2007-01-20 07:20:10 · answer #9 · answered by BROKEN AND BEAUTFUL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's tough, but have you even confronted your Dad??
2007-01-20 07:16:42 · answer #10 · answered by Cilla 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋