Ive been emotionally abused by my "christian" husband for 10 years, is the abuse affecting my judgment? Im doing things I normally would have thought sinful or wrong. Why isnt Gods love and the love of my children enough for me?
2007-01-20 07:02:02 · 14 answers · asked by Sweetheart 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
think of your kids what if this emotional abuse turns to them.
2007-01-20 07:06:30 · answer #1 · answered by conundrum_dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is the God ordained head of the family and is supposed to be a representation of Christ and His love for His "Bride." When abuse happens it is often hard to see the fact that your husband is human and imperfect while God is not. On the other hand, God does allow bad things to happen to good people with no explanation. As years of abuse build up bitterness tends to build up as well as we ask the question "why?" and receive no answer. That bitterness results in a desire to strike out and do things that are both sinful and wrong.
Knowing so little about your trouble, other than that is emotional abuse, it's hard to give really good advice. One piece of advice that I would give you though is to realize that God loves you as well and not just your children. I don't know why He allowed you in the situation that you are in but regardless, he does love you. My other advice is to get in and stay in your Bible (perferrably a KJV) and find a good church with a pastor and his wife that you can trust and talk to. Don't try to fight this alone - you'll never win. Also, don't automatically trust advice from peers (or anyone for that matter); some will give good advice but to often it is not biblical and thus defective. Test everything by the Bible. Lastly, read the book "Changed Into His Image" by Jim Berg. It is a life changing book that helps you understand and except things life throws at you.
I'll be praying for you that God will help heal the hurt that years of abuse causes.
2007-01-20 15:21:48 · answer #2 · answered by Tiny Leprechaun 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a so called Christian but some people take it WAY too far. We weren't put on this Earth to be a slave to a higher being that won't even show him/her self. Yes your emotional state has a lot to do with the things you do or don't do. I even became a minster only to read enough of the Bible to find out that man made the rules in it and they did it under the pretext that God has decreed it.
You can continue to do your husband's bidding but use your head and take nothing for granted. If God is in your heart that should be enough, you were put here to live and enjoy all that life has to offer.
Just remember, God didn't make the rules, men did and men (being imperfect) make mistakes and being overly religious is a mistake. Just look at what the Muslims are doing now throughout the world and it's all of the sake of Allah. Not good.
2007-01-20 15:16:07 · answer #3 · answered by Kevin A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called "being human". Christians are people too and they make mistakes like everyone else. Yes, your husband's abuse has twisted things and you probably lash out against anything that is like him (aka the Christian thing). Don't let your sick husband (cause he is sick, abusers are sick) mess up your chance to be a good Christian. It's your choice in the end and God won't accept your excuse of "but my husband..." when you are at those gates to Heaven one day. You are responsible for your actions, no one else.
I'm not the best Christian, I sin too, but that's what I was raised to believe. God Bless You.
2007-01-20 15:13:29 · answer #4 · answered by Caramella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend, God's love is always there for you. You need to live a happy, healthy life and speaking as one who has experienced this myself, anything like abuse can separate you from God's love. You need to live what you believe and not accept a life of abuse from your husband. I am also a Christian and I lived with abuse for five years, having my head slammed against cabinet doors, being cheated on, etc. etc. Get out now. Listen for His voice. Do not be ashamed to get out. Your children probably know you need to do this. Abuse makes us feel we have no value in life and this is not true.
Your "christian" husband is not a christian if he is abusing you.
2007-01-20 15:08:43 · answer #5 · answered by makeitright 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course the abuse is affecting your judgement. There are loves that we NEED. One of those is children for their mother and vice versa. There is also an almost universal need for romantic love and part of that involves respect and honor of each other. You've been abused and that screws up (to use the technical term) you outlook on life and nearly everything and eveyone in your life--especially the children. There is help available and I hope you can find it. If you want help finding counselors, message me.
2007-01-20 15:10:40 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a saying that might help you understand why you do the things your doing...
can't remember what it goes with but it ends with...
It's enough to make a preacher curse...
Sometimes when a person has had enough it causes one to over react or go out of character for them and they do things they wouldn't do under normal circumstances. Try to hold onto your faith and love a little tighter and curb your urges to sin ...just because today is hard remember you have the rest of your life so don't mess it up
2007-01-20 15:10:29 · answer #7 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it is not "Christian-like" for your husband to be abusing you. Second of all what is it that you are doing that you are thinking is sinful and wrong??
The Will of God will not lead you where the Grace of God cannot keep you.....
2007-01-20 15:06:04 · answer #8 · answered by balooney2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because above all else, including your Christianity, you are a human being. And if you believe in God, believe that this is the way He made you, and you're supposed to react to negative treatment. It's a survival trait.
2007-01-20 15:10:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely ask your minister/priest for help with your relationship with God.
Also, your use of the word "abuse" worries me, so I encourage you also to seek the help of a counselor and talk to her about what has been going on.
Remember: You're important, and you have your own relationship with God.
2007-01-20 15:05:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does your church allow divorce? You need to get your own life back. It will be better for the kids to see their Mom not taking the abuse any more.
2007-01-20 15:14:20 · answer #11 · answered by mj_indigo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋