The situation, me and my girlfriend have been going out for just over a month and we are always there for each other but she is so depressed, not about me just with life. All i want to do is help her and make her happy but lots of it is family issues so theres not much i can do. I am always there for her but i want to do more to make her life happier. She has had such a bad life and i want to make her so happy, when she is upset what is the best thing i can say and what can i do overall to make her happier? thanks very much in advance :-)
2007-01-20 06:44:59 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
1. know what she wants
2. tell her what you want
3. communicate with each other and talk sincerely and honestly
4. understand each other
5. help each other out
6. don't pressure one another
Because it's not just her that you need to be happy in order for the relationship to work out, you both need to be happy. ^_^
2007-01-24 06:18:06 · answer #1 · answered by amidala 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can NOT 'make her happy.'
No one can do that. The individual has to 'find that within the self' ...though having said that, it's not the kind of 'conscious thing' you can look for and do.
People are unhappy for a reason(s, and there are likely to be a number of these contributing reasons ~ possibly having some-thing or some-one at the base of it. And those 'base' issue are likely to have been reinforced by other contributing factors that have occurred through her life which result in what you now experience in her.
Sometimes ~ there is nothing that someone can say to make the other person feel 'better' (let alone 'happier'), but instead, just being held close (as you might do with a hurt child) and comforted in a none sexual or none seeking way.
Seeking the help of a professional is a positive option, because although you want to help (and I do understand this) her, you are involved with her and are likely to become some of the contributing reasons / factor in her life that makes things difficult or problematic for her to deal with.
I'm afraid that invariably the 'best' answer is to 'seek Professional help.'
I wish you good luck.
Sash.
2007-01-20 14:47:18 · answer #2 · answered by sashtou 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Awww.... you are such a sweet, caring boyfriend to care about your girlfriends happiness soo much. She for one thing should realize how lucky she is to have a boyfriend thats that willing to put in so much of his time and effort just to be supportive and is so concerned about her happiness. Id say that alone will indefinitely make her much happier than if she had to stick it out all by herself. Just let her know youre ALWAYS there for support no matter what. Any time she needs to talk, let her know youre willing to help her in any way you can. Thats a great feeling to have so much support, I know cuz I now have a guy like that. Even though we (girls) do get over the top frustrated with things going on, know that its not your fault. It probably feels like shes taking it out on you cuz youre the only person there, thats how my bf feels. After you talk it through, if shell do that, you should take her out and do some activity you know she really enjoys. Get some massage oil and give her a massage, take her to get a facial or something to ease some of the stess shes feeling. Trust me, also laughing a lot really lightens up the situation and will make both of you feel better. All of that is guaranteed to make a girl feel good. Good luck, Im rooting for you!
2007-01-20 07:02:40 · answer #3 · answered by Carebear 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to realize is that happiness comes from within. You cannot make anyone else happy. You can help her to work through her issues and be supportive and dependable, but you cannot make her happy. Next consider that the physical body also influences the mental plane. There may be dietary or health issues that are inhibiting her ability to feel happy. Seek natural health / alternative medicine (balanced - not voodoo). Pharmaceutical drugs harm more than help. Sounds harsh, but lots of people have had rough lives and are very upbeat. All you can really do is try to guide her through the situation and find fun things to do together. Laughter is great medicine!!!
2007-01-20 07:03:25 · answer #4 · answered by Cilla 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A month is a very short time; don't get yourself involved too much. Be supportive; but not too involved. If there are family issues, they have been there for a long time and you can't do much about that.
It's likely she may be a depressive personality; in which case you can't help her at all.
Just stay by her side; be loving, but stay out of the family stuff.
If she's unhappy with herslf; you can't change that - the changes have to come from her.
I wish you luck. you sound like a really nice guy.
2007-01-20 09:23:51 · answer #5 · answered by marie m 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being through a similar simituation myself twice with two different girlfriends, I can tell you the best you can do is be supportive and just listen to her as much as you can. Since your relationship is very young, you should refrain yourself from letting your life revolve around her too much. Take your distance so that eventually she won't drive you nuts when you find out you can not save her from her problem.
Therapy many times works. Suggest visiting a therapist, a psycologist, who can help her see things clearly.
Good luck man, I hope you and your girlfriend succeed on this one.
2007-01-24 02:44:06 · answer #6 · answered by Peter_33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her space, time and lots of love, I don't mean sex either. Don't crowd her. Just accept that she needs to sort her feelings out. If she is still very young, as in her teens, it could be hormonal. Tell from me, that life stinks sometimes, but you can get over it if you draw a line under the past and move on.
If all else fails, pray.
You sound like a nice boy, well done.
2007-01-20 06:55:18 · answer #7 · answered by Patricia R 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I have the same situation with my girlfriend. We have been going out for over a year. She doesnt have many family problems, but she does have depression. It is so tough sometimes because she acts very unloving and upset to me sometimes, but I have learned to be kind and ask questions. Don't jump to conclusions about her problems, and don't give advice. Just listen and tell her you love her! Because you do love her! And that is all she needs to hear.
2007-01-23 05:43:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a nice guy...comfort her and be there for her that is the best thing to do when she is upset. Overall try to do nice things for her or take her places and make her feel special. There is not much you can do to fix a crappy home life.
2007-01-20 06:54:56 · answer #9 · answered by miztiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her out places... walks in the park, the zoo, cinema, dinner, picnic, the beach etc... anywhere that you and her can be out and away from the stimuli that set off her depression... fresh air and a bit of exercise will be very good for her as well. Plus lots of new environments can show her there is lots more of life to see outside of her home.
try to avoid just sitting around moping with her as this is just feeding her depression... talking is fine in moderation but balance it out with a bit of laughter if you can and it is much better to talk in a neutral or happy environment.. away from anywhere that could remind her of troubles..
good luck to you and it's good to see a man try to do everything they can for their woman... good on you :)
2007-01-20 08:14:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋