things changed. she yells, screams, and blows up for no apparent reason. I don't cheat, don't hang out, visit my friends on occasion, not often. we work together, come home together, spend time together, and she still wants to argue and yell. My "rules" during the begining were no arguing, no drama, no cheating, no yelling, do disrespect. she agreed. now she does all of the above and more. reads my mail, checks my phone, and wants to control my accounts I had before meeting her. she loves to play(30+), childish at times...I'm very frustrated. ready to leave relationship.
2007-01-20 06:42:39 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Good thing you found out about her before you married her...
Perhaps she has developed "Bi-Polar" mental illness..
You need to break off the relationship and move on...
2007-01-20 06:46:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Marriage counseling is my only advice to you.
As for the rules, stupid. Why would you make rules at the beginning of your marriage? Why make rules at all? Cheating should be common sense. Husbands and wives are going to yell at each other and disrespect each other at some point, so I think your rules are backfiring on you. I'm sure you have some destructive behavior that you have brought into this relationship too, so it's not just her. Why do you care if she checks your phone or your mail? Are you hiding something? If you're not, you should let her look through it, not say anything and eventually she'll quit. I highly suggest marriage counseling, I was recently separated and my husband and I went to marriage counseling and things are getting better. It's not going to get better right away. You need to decide if there are things you need to change and then stick to it and stick to it throughout the rest of your lives. It's hard to admit that you may have issues even if they are minor, but that's the only way your marriage will work is if you admit to a problem and are committed to fixing it.
I think the biggest mistake you made was shacking up with a woman that you MIGHT marry. Why couldn't the two of you have waited?
2007-01-20 06:51:49 · answer #2 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure what your question is, but I'll do the legal stuff. Each of your prior homes are separate property and remain owned by each of you separately if you divorce. The home you built during your marriage is community property in my state or marital property in the non-community property states. At worst, you have a 50% ownership interest. If you divorce, do not fight over the little stuff. I consider things like furniture "little stuff." Everything you owned before marriage remains the sole property of the person who owned it before marriage, but don't waste atty fees fighting over the dishes, for example. She is unlikely to be awarded alimony, but don't play up her bad behavior too much. It could make the Court wonder if she has mental problems. If she convinces the Court she has a mental disability, you could be subjected to alimony. It seems she does from what you said, but play it down. Most states allow divorce on a no-fault basis. That's why most people just claim "incompatibility." That means no one has to prove fault of the other. Hopefully, that's the law of your state. Your debts would be split equally in my state, but if you make more money, compromise to avoid the costs of a trial. Look at your future and look at the big picture. If it's a bad relationship and you can't or don't want to work it out, get out quick--if you feel that's the inevitable result.
2007-01-20 07:11:23 · answer #3 · answered by David M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but you are right, its time to leave the relationship. You need to plan. Go to the bank, set up accounts that she doesn't have access to, and put money in them so she cannot bleed you dry the second she discovers you are leaving. Get legal advice on where you stand with the rest of your assets.
You only live once. If there is nothing important to stay for, and it's not making anyone happy, leave.
2007-01-20 06:49:50 · answer #4 · answered by Ang H 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My opinion. It is a good thing that you did live together for a while--before marriage. (and I am an old woman--lol ) I think sitting down and talking--and have it understood that it will be "talking". Calm talking. If you do not feel comfortalbe with the results--possibly split for a while??? or just move on now???
2007-01-20 07:38:30 · answer #5 · answered by old_woman_84 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two need to sit and have a long talk. find out what she is so angry about and why she is looking into all your stuff. Maybe she doesn't trust you for some reason or maybe she is guilty of something herself. If you can't talk it out and make it better then she's not the right one.
2007-01-20 06:46:37 · answer #6 · answered by beccam1962 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Couples counseling sounds like it's in order. Marriage is a relationship, not a game with "rules." You can't control her and she can't control you -- but it sounds like she doesn't trust you and that she is frustrated with you. You should speak to her, honestly, not about her behavior, but about your feelings.
2007-01-20 06:58:06 · answer #7 · answered by Isabella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to part ways it sounds. Sorry. Sounds like things were going great . Have you asked her why the sudden change?
2007-01-20 06:47:44 · answer #8 · answered by Papa John 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like the fire has dyed down and she is getting over on u.
have a talk or just get out and find someone that treats ya better
if u cant talk to her, write her a note.
2007-01-20 06:47:12 · answer #9 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And that's exactly why you shouldn't live together before marriage.
Find a place to stay and find a good lawyer. Good luck
2007-01-20 06:45:39 · answer #10 · answered by wnk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋