We have two children and have two see each other for visitation. While we were married, he wasn't interested in achieving basically anything in life, I was in Public Assistance all along my married years. I got tired of it, when to College, got a certificate, and now that I am achieving so much on my own he is trying to make my life miserable. According to his version, everything I have now is because of the support (child, gave up spousal) he's paying. Tried a restraining order but wasn't granted cause what he does falls more into psychological abuse, which is difficult to prove. How should I deal with this? How can I handle this situation with my children who are getting tired of this constant conflict?
2007-01-20 06:32:19 · 14 answers · asked by A_O 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I understand what you are going through. I too was in a situation like yours. Mine was not as bad. You need to focus on building a good life for yourself and your children. My children are grown now and thank goodness they understand what that part of my life was about. Sometimes people just can't be happy for someone else regardless of the past. Communicate with your kids, let them know that they can tell you anything and that you will always be there for them. Back it up. If you can't do something, just tell them. As far as the ex husband goes. Let him be unhappy. Ignore him. If you can't do that then bite your tongue. Let your children see that you are the bigger person. If he is being abusive verbally or physically, call the police. You could also have him pick up your kids at a public place so that witnesses can observe his behaviour. The Police Station is always a good choice.
2007-01-20 06:59:54 · answer #1 · answered by xraytls 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
You can try to get someone else to take your children to the visits or meet in a public place. He is just jealous that you have managed to do something without him. He sounds like the type that isn't Happy unless he puts others down. Speak with your lawyer and see if a social worker can be present at the visits. Also try to get some help for the kids so they can understand that its not their fault or to take things personal. The last thing you need is for them to Rebel against you for the situation they have to be in. You can also do what I did. Have him relinquish his parental rights and neither you or your children have to deal with him again. This means you wont get child support but give your kids a piece of mind. But try the counseling first.
LUCK!
2007-01-20 06:54:04 · answer #2 · answered by Nunya M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let him steal your thunder...Congratulations on making a better life for you and your children. The best thing you can do is to show exactly what is child support is going to. If he doesn't give anything to the kids other than the support, he will find that he has gotten off rather lightly. Rise above is jealousy.
2007-01-20 06:59:41 · answer #3 · answered by Shanan D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
misery loves company. Its difficult to deal with that kind of situation. I admire you for doing positive things with your life. I advise you to make peace with him any way you can. Talk to him and tell him you want to be friends for your childrens sake. Give in a little and you may end up being friends after all. Thats what you have to do. Find a way to make peace. Good luck
2007-01-20 06:40:54 · answer #4 · answered by cutencurley_05 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you must take the high road and not allow him to get to you in any way. Much easier said than done I know. As long as he knows how to get to you and that it upsets your children he will continue,its a power thing it sounds like with him.congrats on going back to school! Try your best to change your mindset and ignore his behavior unless he is this way with your children then you could take him back to court I am sure. Best of Luck
2007-01-20 06:38:54 · answer #5 · answered by teresa.hereford@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say the easiest way is to let your attorney deal with him...If he has visitation let him sit in the car while the kids go out. You don't have to let him into the house. You don't really need to talk to him. He's jealous that you have done something with your life and he's done nothing. Try to ignore him and don't get into a conversation with him. If he says something don't respond.
2007-01-20 06:37:08 · answer #6 · answered by beccam1962 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is going to be a constant battle...
Keep working on the restraining order...
Call the police every time you have even a little reason..
Get married and have new husband protect you...
2007-01-20 06:43:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Find some friends that are well built males that he doesn't know, and they can keep their mouths shut!
Let them go over and introduce him to uncle Louie! Have them in some manner let him know that they disapprove of your harassment.
Once will probably work. Just tell them not to mess with his head too much.
2007-01-20 07:41:11 · answer #8 · answered by Bigdog 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a peace bond which is probably 10 bucks and get an answering machine to pick up his calls.
He is jealous of u and needs to lay off.
2007-01-20 06:36:50 · answer #9 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You've got to rise above his level of behavior. Hard to do. Be positive and remind yourself that YOU know the truth. Never be negative about him to your children.
2007-01-20 06:41:30 · answer #10 · answered by eschampion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋