i think a couple have just split because of me but why do i feel bad?

Question

she was cheating on him and flirting with just about any old man she could find. she egged him on to leave the site and now he has. and its just so she can put it around. He either couldnt see it or didnt want to so i think i got the message through to him. have i done right? i feel really bad bout it

Answer 1

you go girl you done nothing wrong.

Answer 2

Yes you did the right thing, I wish more people would but generally life isn't like that. We go through life with blinders on and can't/won't see what is as plain as day and after years of abuse in one form or another we wonder why someone, heck anyone, didn't say something long ago. It's hard to be the one that does the telling, not only do you have to summon up enough courage but then decide do you tell all or just enough, you risk losing a friendship or being called a tattle tail, sometimes your even hated for it by both parties involved. I will say YOU did not split the couple, the cheater was the one that did the damage, the only thing you did was speed up the finding out process. You did a good thing, I wish you had been in my life to open my eyes.

Answer 3

perhaps you should examine your true reasons for telling him? Could you have had an ulteria motive? Your feelings of guilt may stem from an internal conflict. Do you interfere with someone elses love life? do you want to stop them looking the fool? why does it matter to you? we all have a feer of being made a fool of and we would like to think that we would have a friend that would let us know if someone were taking the P as it were...but at the same time most of us would like to think we can have our privacy and our business not interefered with by so called do gooders...so thats where the inner conflict comes from perhaps you feel so bad because you question why you did it or perhaps because you dont want the responsibility that goes with becoming involved with another couples business...and all is not always as it may seem!

I am not judging you just suggesting you look at your reasons for getting involved and you might find your own answer...My advice to you...ease up on yourself what is done is done ...and if you believe you did it for the right reasons then be proud of yourself for having the courage of your convictions and standing up for what you believe is right...I daubt that you telling him what was going on would split them up unless he wanted it too...there is often more wrong in a relationship than the obvious when one member of that relationship looks for more! Try not to worry guilt is a very useless emotion that just makes everything seem worse than it often is! There have been times in my life when a friend who would watch my back would have been a good thing to have!

Answer 4

At the end of the day, relationships don't end unless they were bad - he probably knew deep down it was something he needed to get himself out of and just needed a push, you should only feel bad if you did it for your own personal gain i.e. so you could have him, if that's not the case, then you should just hope that someone will do the same for you one day, life is too short for regrets - you should regret the things you haven't done not the things you have done :)

Answer 5

Yes, you feel bad because you took it upon yourself to intervene into this couple's life.
What right did you have to play Miss Right?
Yes indeed, maybe he didn't want to see it, so? What suits you may not suits him.
He had someone and now he has nobody.
You musn't take it upon yourself to put all wrongs right, unless it's life threatening or crualty, or child abuse.
Maybe, he'll thank you in the long run, but it's true that it was none of your business to intervene.
Unless you wanted him for yourself and can bring him happiness.
Does he want you?
Even if you mean well, next time make sure you are not acting in your own selfish interest, but definitely for the right reasons and it won't feel too bad.
I don't mean to have a go at you or make you feel worse, but you have to understand that adults are adults and the way they choose to lead their lives are their own business.
At least you should have tried to find out first if what you were about to do was really for the best, and would make him happy.
Next time try that first.

Answer 6

You feel bad because feelings are hurt and a marriage is ending. Those are sad things even if they are for the best in the long run.

Answer 7

You only really know one side of the story and so shouldn't really have interfered in their relationship. If they do end up back together, you stand to lose both their friendships when they find out that you were a factor.

I understand that you care about your friend but maybe he was already aware of the situation and was coping with it in his own way?

Answer 8

Leave the site? Was this one of those fakey relationships where the people live in different states and have all these fights and "cheating" and breakups all on line?

Answer 9

You did the right thing. Your friend should get tested for STD's. You may have saved your friend's life.
If my spouse were cheating on me, I'd want to know. If for nothing else, to get me tested and for prompt treatment of anything transmitted to me!

Answer 10

So you were "the messenger" . Personally, I cannot think of a lower form of humanity then a "messenger". What is the purpose? Why not be the supportive friend to help your friend when he/she finds out on their own? I think "messengers" have their own agenda and it is sleazy.

Answer 11

Actually, they are so happy together , you wouldn't even begin to imagine... whatwith your bitter little heart of stone. You need to stop living in a fantasy world of your own and start enjoying real life like they do, you sad, jealous person.