Ok, so my boyfriend of three months (not even three months) who I've only known 1 and a 1/2 years (not even one and a half years) told me "I love you" on the phone. We're only seventeen! How is it even possible he means that. Short answer: He's a misguided youth. I haven't said anything to him, because I don't love him. I don't know anything about love and I don't think of him as the kind of boy who would just say it, but all the same, he is a boy. So what do you think I should do, because I seriously don't want to have to confront him, but that doesn't leave me with much else.
2007-01-20 05:51:41 · 20 answers · asked by Jane 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
So now, my boyfriend doesn't say it anymore because I think he got the vibe that I didn't really like it. And now, I want him to say it again. It's really hypocritical and I hate it and I guess I don't really want anyone's advice, because it's not anyone else's problem.
2007-01-21 11:37:11 · update #1
First: Relax, your both young and you shouldn't be taking it that serious.
Second: Love is a very strange and sometimes elusive creature. It is different for everyone and cannot be defined easily.
Third: His "Love" for you, regardless of how you feel should be seen as a good thing.
Fourth: What do I know, I am in love with a man I met 5 years ago at work.... We have had the worst time working it out but we try everyday anyways... Oh how crazy that thing called love can be.
Good Luck
2007-01-20 05:58:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're not that in to him.
I think with most romantic relationships you have those warm and fuzzy, "I'm falling for this person" feelings either right away or you never do.
Love doesn't hit you over the head, but it doesn't stand in the wings for X number of months before leaping out onto the stage.
I think you're probably just not into him as a serious boyfriend and that's probably a good thing. He on the other hand seems to be more romantically inclined. That's not a bad thing.
Now you have responsibility thrust upon you I'm afraid. You know how he feels so you have to be careful of his feelings while being true to yourself. Don't play with him, but try not to hurt him - although that doesn't mean lead him on - let him think you're on the same face. . . that's where you have to be true to yourself.
Good luck - love is so simple and sooooo complicated.
2007-01-20 14:03:39 · answer #2 · answered by dianes98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take it as a very nice compliment. He is obviously finding something about you, that deeply appeals to him. You don't need to confront him about his feelings. You'll find that throughout your life, (I'm a lot older than you), it will happen to you, where you feel more for someone than they do for you. No matter what age. It usually will mean a mis-match or the time is right for one and not the other. Just cool your attentions towards him and don't send out mixed signals that you're more interested than you really are. But be gentle and kind about it. It's not entirely his fault he's in such a state and you're not. Maybe, say something general so as not to offend him, like, you want to concentrate on your future and you don't want to get too tied down at the moment. Perhaps, suggest he slow down as it takes time and experience to know who or what you really want in life. Appreciate his feelings, but at the same time, wriggle out of his grip and be a little busier to force him to seek elsewhere. And love can mean different things to different people. At your age, it very likely is not actual true love. What he could be meaning, is that he feels very comfortable with you and you are like a safe haven to him. But encourage him to develop himself and all of his interests. I'm sure he should focus more outward as well. And hopefully, his love for you, is not covering up some lack within himself. People can, so-called, hide their own problems by hanging onto another person. So go about the release carefully and fade away quietly!
2007-01-20 14:10:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should say it back if you're not sure you feel it too. Believe me, I did that and then broke up with him, and everyone hated me for being a hypocrite. It was bad... Whatever you do, it's better to tell the truth, it will take a great weight off your chest.. but if you do care, at least a little about this guy, don't scare him, just talk to him about it, tell him that you're confused, that it's too early for you to understand such feelings. He probably doesn't know what love is either. If you lie to him telling him you love him, you will feel more guilty which every day that passes and and probably hate him for it... But then again, it's your choice. I wish you all the luck!
2007-01-20 15:56:58 · answer #4 · answered by lucantropeea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what you've told us, because clearly you two have different definitions about what love is. You think you only know infatuation and that you do not comprehend love. It's easy to love. Perhaps easier for him than you, but I believe what you're referring to is a respect for that love rather that simply being frivolous with it as most youth do. Just be full honest about how you feel with him, and there should barely be any hard feelings. Everyone has to accept the truth sooner or later. Or atleast their best representation of what it could actually be.
2007-01-20 14:14:49 · answer #5 · answered by Answerer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you've heard it before, but "HONESTY" truly is the best policy. If you expect anything to come from your relationship, you have to be willing to put it all out there for the other person & just tell them how you're feeling. Otherwise, you will just face problems regarding the things on your mind further down the road. It's better to get it all out & if he doesn't respond favorably, then you have saved yourself from a lot of time wasted trying to develop something with someone who's not completely compatible with you because their response will most likely be the same later on when they find out for themselves.
2007-01-20 14:34:04 · answer #6 · answered by iNeviTable fuTure 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uhh, that's what normal people say to their girlfriends. I've told my ex girlfriend I love her before we broke up, and I was 14.
Why are you so worried? It means he actually cared, I thought girls liked that... although I know that relationships in high school won't go anywhere, I like to make the best of what I have for the time I have it.
It's not bad, and it doesn't mean anything. Stop worrying.
2007-01-20 13:56:56 · answer #7 · answered by Mike 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL you woman sure know how to mess a person up. Just don't tell him it back and if he asks "why" say you think your both to young to know what it means. He may be pushy about getting a better answer but hey try not to rip his heart out ; )
2007-01-20 15:04:43 · answer #8 · answered by felixtricks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love chocolate,
I love my wife,
and I love my child,
there are three different loves there.
but its all the same word.
he is expressing some kinda fondness,
but you would actually need to ask him what does that mean to him to know exactly what he means.
to you love may mean a lifetime of commitment,
and to him it may me he is happy when he sees you.
did you not ever tell a freind of your that you love them, when you mean great freindship?
talk to him, he is the only one with the answer.
if he is talking about something serious, it is best you tell him soon that you don't feel the same way.
2007-01-20 14:02:54 · answer #9 · answered by papeche 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOU DO NOT LOVE HIM BE HONEST WITH HIM AND TELL HIM SO HE CAN DECIDE WHETHER HE WANTS TO INVEST MORE TIME WITH YOU OR TO MOVE ON. FROM WHAT I HEAR OF YOU, YOU SEEM NOT TO BE INTO HIM AT ALL. NOT BECAUSE YOU DO NOT LOVE HIM BUT YOU MAKE HIM SEEM LIKE A BOTHER. I'M NOT SAYING THATS WHAT YOU SAID BUT YOU MAKE IT SOUND THAT WAY
The heart has it's reasons which reason does not understand.
2007-01-20 14:03:56 · answer #10 · answered by cowboybronco01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋