- I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and he proposed over Christmas time...on break from basic training in the army.
- My mom has had 2 failed marriages and I know she's worried about guys hurting me. My parents, though, know how serious my boyfriend and I are. I live with my parents right now and am planning to move in with my boyfriend when we get married (we have lived together before, for 3 months, right before he was sent to do his basic training for the army).
- My boyfriend is in the army and has been for about 3 months now and we are plannin to get married April 20th after he graduates from AIT (advanced individual training). We've talked about marriage for a long time now, have talked about the issues of being in the army, and pretty much everything. So, we know what we're getting into.
- My dad has hinted to me lately that he wants me to stay local because he'll miss me if I ever move away but I'll be moving to NC where my boyfriend is stationed.
2007-01-20 05:43:35 · 16 answers · asked by Miss Amanda 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NC is the best state ever that is where i stay. As far as your parents live for yourself . If you let your parents dictate what you do then you will be sad. Be honest with them and let them now how you feel and what is going on.
2007-01-20 05:50:00 · answer #1 · answered by Danielle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations!!! But did you say yes when he asked you!? are you engaged?? If so, double congrats haha. I don't think you should hide a marriage from your parents. That's just too much energy to put into keeping some one you love from others that you love. It would be really stressful to you...but I mean...they ARE your parents and they love you. I think you might hurt them much more by making a decision to keep your life from them than you would by telling them that you are gay. With that said, you are pretty young...you're 20. so it's probably pretty safe to assume that your parents are helping out with your education. Unless your boyfriend has money and can support you, it might not be a good idea to get married just yet. Do you think maybe you can wait until you are more financially stable? You say your parents have no idea that you are gay. Maybe over the next year or so you could start dropping some hints. Get them wondering and mulling over the possibility so that when they do find out, it isn't as much of a shock. Ultimately, you know your parents. You know how conservative or progressive they are. You probably know their political views on gay marriage and gay rights. You and your sisters need to discuss this and come up with a plan. You know your parents best and you know how they will act better than anyone on here does. Your parents can't simply be defined by their faith, they are people with personalities and feelings that you know and understand. Maybe you could talk to them in person WITH your sisters present? I don't know but I think it will be especially difficult for your parents to digest this if the first they hear about you being gay is when you tell them you're getting married. No matter what you do, congratulations on finding love :)
2016-05-24 01:06:14 · answer #2 · answered by Susan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart is all I can say! I did follow my heart and married my teenage sweetheart (who was a marine at camp lejuene, nc) and we did get married and had children. It was a horrible marriage that lasted wayy too long (11 yrs) but had I not married him and had children, I wouldnt be where I am now and that is with the most wonderful man on earth!
Things happen for a reason, it's a part of lifes journey..but it leads you to your destiny in the end :)
I say make it a happy time for your parents! I'd have your bf sit down and talk to or call your parents and relay his intentions and ask for their blessing to marry you (always score point witht he parents that way!) and since you two have already thought about it and are planning it, do something extra special for them to announce the engagement/wedding!
If they see your happy, they will be happy for you
2007-01-20 05:53:07 · answer #3 · answered by enticinmel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just sit your parents down and tell them what you are planning to do. The best thing to do is to be open with them. Being a military wife isn't easy, I'm married to a soldier myself. You really need your family at your back to make it through those rough times so its always good to have their blessing for a marriage.
2007-01-20 06:00:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell them before you get married or they will be hurt. I met my first hubby while we were both in the Army then we got married then we told my family they were crushed. Sounds like you have goals etc so they shouldn't have a problem with it. There are alllot of loosers out there your guy is in the service making a difference.
2007-01-20 05:59:49 · answer #5 · answered by chemky1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you should sit them down and talk to them about what you want to do. if you talk to them 1st then they would appreciate you even talking to them about your life. the way you talk, your parents dont seem like they would trip or be upset, so just have a heart-2-heart. now, if you want to move then i suggest you do that too, but visit OFTEN..lol. you dont want your parents to feel like they gave you the "ok" to stay away. it is reasonable for your mother to be nervous about her daughter coming back brokenhearted, but its time for you to show her that there are some "GREAT MEN" left out there. she'll see that you are growing and she can finally relax (i'm speaking from experience).
well, i think i have written TOO much, but GOOD LUCK and i'm wishing u well and CONGRATS!!!
2007-01-20 05:53:00 · answer #6 · answered by so_much_2_life! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can either take your parents out to dinner with him and make a formal announcement together.
Or
You can set a date, then call your mom. Ask her what she is doing on that date and the month ahead of it. When she asks why, tell her you need her help planning a wedding.
2007-01-20 05:55:53 · answer #7 · answered by sorcergeek 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Invite your parents to the wedding! Reassure your father that you will stay in close touch via phone and email and will visit as often as possible.
2007-01-20 06:02:50 · answer #8 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a smart move.
One year is not good enough time to get to know a person. To make a long story short- you will just end up like your mother- worry abou that.
2007-01-20 06:02:50 · answer #9 · answered by pinkbooger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and tell them how you feel. If they freak out, just tell them you've thought about everything and that's what you are going to do (not what you want to do) and it's important for you that they support your decition. No way your parents will turn their back on you, it'll be fine :)
2007-01-20 05:55:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋