I am scared of conflict?

Question

I am very scared of conflict any kind of argument with friends family or people who start on you etc.

dose other people feel like this?
and how can i stop being scared of it? i am becoming a push over.

Answer 1

My mum is very much like this. In some situations she is a push over.

Have you considered assertiveness training? or self help books?

This one on assertiveness is recommended by the Devon book prescription Scheme:
Woman in your own right, by Anne Dickinson (1982) £6 ISBNumber 0704334208

Answer 2

I know how you feel because I go through that as well. I've gotten a teeny bit better with a few people I'm more comfortable with, but I still am terrified of conflict. Sometimes I get shakey if there is even the possibility of one.

I think one thing that both you and I should remind ourselves is that we have thoughts and feelings and have just a right to defend them as anyone else does. And conflict can be healthy because you can understand someone else's point of view (and vice versa) and either expand your thinking or theirs. Plus, maybe you can come to some sort of resolution and that, in turn, can help you in the future. Maybe it will build a little bit of confidence when we realize that our world will not end if we get in a confrontation or fight with somebody.

But I'm still working on that because I am still quite the pushover myself....

Good luck though -- just know you're not alone!

Answer 3

Just stop being too nice for your own good. You don't need to argue with people. And you don't need to do anything you feel uncomfortable doing. True friends will understand and support you in your needs, wants and desires--other people will walk on you. Avoid those people, and gravitate toward supportive people.

I'm going to suggest a book on how to talk to people when you are "mad, hurt, scared, frustrated, insulted, betrayed or desperate"--it's titled "The Dance of Connection", ISBN # 0060196386, and it can usually be found on EBAY. Best of luck.
Best of luck.

Answer 4

I am like that... recently I have started to stand up for myself... At the beginning I was generally mumbling my replies and going bright red as I spoke but, once you've got your point across it can feel quite liberating...(obviously don't go too far and don't insult people or you will just feel bad).. gradually, the more you do it the better you become at it... and people start respecting you and taking you seriously.

i was always worried at upsetting people so would just go along with what they said.. then my dad said to me one day that if I stand up for myself and say "no" once in a while I wont be personally upsetting the other person or hurting their feelings as such... they will just be upset that I am not doing what they want..

You'll gradually learn that you are worth sticking up for... and it'll make people realise that you believe in yourself and then they'll start to believe in you...

good luck to you :)

Answer 5

sometimes its easier and better to walk away from an argument /conflict.it doesntmake you abad person.Theres are plenty of people around who feel like this. As for being scared of it theres only you who can decide how to deal with it. Personally i just take 1 step at a time and deal with things as they happen

Answer 6

Yes, I get like this sometimes and end up feeling bitter or being pushed around. However, my boyfriend has helped me over come this - he keeps reminding me that it is not rude or argumenative to simply tell people calmly and politely that you do not agree with them or to stick up for yourself. This is a good one, if someone says something to upset you say to them "that really upset me, why did you say that?" - it then makes that other person have to justify themselves to you - they look silly and you look strong and in control - try it!

Answer 7

this conflict comes from a fear of rejection. you think if you are assertive, that peopel will see it as aggresion, and will judge you for it and not like you. it might happen, but not 100% of the time. would you rather risk a small chance of rejection or a 100% chance of becoming someone´s puppet?. these are choices we all make.

Answer 8

arguing is not needed to resolve conflict.
people with the fear of conflict usually come from disfunctional families.
a disfunctional family is one where the family menbers dont learn to respect, and listen to each others feelings, so the children grow up with fear,and shame.
yopu are not frightened of anyone ,but the thoughts in your head.
you are worth listening to,but you must command the respect that you are screaming out for.
You probably have a fear of intimacy as well,and that is not ggoing to go away overnight.
now please start by saying"I FEEL"
WHEN FEAR KNOCKS ON YOUR DOOR, OPEN IT WITH COURAGE,AND FEAR WILL WALK AWAY.
REMEMBER. "I FEEL

Answer 9

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Answer 10

you have to stand up for yourself... even if you get beat down you still tried. you will get respect but you really have to go for it if you want it that bad. you dont want to be a push over... i use to be this way and this one girl used to pick on me untill one day i put her on her ***... i was sik of it and no one ever messed with me again...