I am in a state of absolute confusion when it comes to this topic... I have been in a great relationship for 5.5 years (we are both 31), yet we never talk about marriage or getting engaged. All of our friends are either engaged, married or starting families. I am starting to feel like we are the only ones not moving forward... I know we love eachother, but I am ready to start thinking about the future... He seems to be happy as is... Has anyone been in a similar situation? Advise? Thanks.
2007-01-20 05:17:34 · 6 answers · asked by NYC olive 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You might hate to hear my opinion but....if he already has everything he wants, why would he get married if he didn't want to. Specifically if you live together and do everything else a married couple does, it may be very difficult to convince him to marry you.
Based on my experience and experience of others, once you take the leap to live together, act like a married couple and don't talk about the marriage issue prior, there can be problems. Guys a lot of times don't see the point/don't want to take the risk of getting married.
You need to talk to him asap. Tell him that you have noticed most of your friends are married and ask him if he ever thinks about you two getting married.
If he doesn't want to get married or doesn't have a time line for it, you will have to decide if you can accept that or not. If not, tell him you can't and go from there. He may decide he wants to get married if marriage or break up were the only options.
If you really want to get married and he really doesn't, you may have to go your separate ways to find what you want with someone else.
Good luck.
2007-01-20 05:31:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I am also 31 and in the same situation. Me and my boyfriend have been together off and on for over 7 years. And you know all our friends have gotten married and/or in new relationships and all are unhappy, divorced or broke up. What's a piece of paper going to prove? When the time is right for both of you then it will happen. Why change something that is working so well the way it is?
2007-01-20 13:24:58 · answer #2 · answered by Nette 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I havent been in this situation. But since you are thinking of it, its poss. he's thinking of it and wondering why your NOT thinking of it- which is not true because you are thinking about it.
31 isnt so old! you folks may be enjoying your relationship and HE many not want to spoil things. More than marriage you may be looking for some commitment. Eventually it may all happen, you just want some reassurance. Its almost hurtful that he doesnt want to talk about it and doesnt want it enough to talk about it. But forget the ego- forget who talked about if first- bring it up coz its on your mind..and isnt likely to leave.
2007-01-20 13:28:45 · answer #3 · answered by El Dorado 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummmm 5.5 years and 31? well to put it crudely---crap or get off the bowl--what is he waiting for --a sign from God?? and if you wanna have kids its getting kinda close to go time----u guys need to have a serious talk and decide where you wanna take this relationship---what is he afraid of? good luck
2007-01-20 13:23:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him. tell him that you are ready to marry and start a family, that you arent getting any younger. if he's not ready, give him an ultimatum. some guys are just scared and need that extra push
2007-01-20 13:36:50 · answer #5 · answered by kimandkaitlyn2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you REALLY communicate with each other? I bet some of those friends are having problems as well. I suspect, he doesnt want to ruin your 'great relationship'
2007-01-20 13:27:12 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋