2007-01-20 05:03:59 · 11 answers · asked by Ellyn 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think it's a matter of being better off. It's a matter of finding a woman who is willing to deal with the fact that she's going to have step-kids and an ex-wife to deal with. It's not an easy situation in the best of circumstances.
Been there, done that...my husband is dead and I have step-grandkids who I see often and love dearly, but don't think I'd be willing to do it again.
2007-01-20 05:31:15 · answer #1 · answered by HoneySuite 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great question and as a single dad with 3 children at home it is one i am currently facing. Been divorced 3 years, have a 15, 10, 8 (G, B, G) at home. Have a good relationship with the ex, but wish she saw them more.
Been dating a woman 9 months and she is pressing hard to get engaged/married. She is great and there are times I could use the help and a woman's view and see that the kids could use this too. At the same time, i see my kids needing the security of me around a lot and focused on them. Dating takes time and effort which comes at their expense. Not sure how they'd react or the long term impact of getting married. Lots of questions with no clear answers, yet.
So to answer the question, i've stayed single primarily because the younger two, I feel, have needed me to be there for them. And of course, because i've needed time post-divorce. Its a lot of work and probably many similar issues single mom's face.
Recognize everyone's situation is unique...having said that my sense is that while most children are adaptable, they need time to adjust and always know they are the priority. Patience and understanding from everyone.
TK in Houston
2007-01-20 13:31:06 · answer #2 · answered by Tom T K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on the man, his children and the potential "partner" he hooks up with. You can't just "lump" them all in one category and answer this question, sorry.
I think two mature adults who enter into a marriage based on love and respect have every reason to believe their marriage will last. In spite of the "statistics" and high divorce rate today, there are plenty of "blended" families who are happy and successful.
These relationships may have "issues" that first-time marriages don't, but it is possible to work through these issues and have a successful marriage.
On the other hand, I'm sure there are "some" men who would probably be better off remaining single until their kids are grown. I honestly believe it depends on the family involved and their willingness to work on their relationships.
Hope this helps.
2007-01-20 13:24:06 · answer #3 · answered by Mugsy's Place 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since most women with kids have custody of them the more important question should be.... should divorced women with kids stay single until the kids grow up.
I was single from 29 to 38 and dated lots of women with kids. I found that too many women let the guys they date meet their kids too soon. The kids develop an attitude of " well there's another one". How are kids supposed to learn what a real relationship is like when mom is constantly bringing guys in and out of the kids lives? Kids will emulate what they see their parents do.
2007-01-20 13:20:03 · answer #4 · answered by e.sillery 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarly. As long as the ex understand's that the new woman will be part of the kids life. If she can't get that through her head, then that is where the problems start. And that will create problems in the relationship. Going through that right now.
2007-01-20 13:28:24 · answer #5 · answered by ~Carolina Beach Girl~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i believe it is great for a divorced man to try and go out and find love. for him and for child. Children need a woman figuire in the life, it is up to the father to mke sure it is the right one, if you saw the movie "The Holiday" with Jude Law you would see how great it can be
2007-01-20 13:38:24 · answer #6 · answered by xkaliber28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that as long as he knows that the kids are his first responsiblity and come before any woman it is ok. If the woman he is dating can't accept this then he should find someone that can.
2007-01-20 13:12:20 · answer #7 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily----it's an individual thing---He just needs to make sure that the next woman in his life will love and care for his kids.
2007-01-20 13:07:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it depends on his maturity. if he wants to take on a new girlfriend he will have to make sure she is good with kids. and he must not rush to introduce her to the kids as he will need to first get to know her in depth and work out if she is stepmom material.
my ex has a new gf and thankfully she is fantastic with our daughter. he waited 6 months till he introduced them and its all going well.
2007-01-20 13:14:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
why is it that I have never seem this as a ? for the ladies? I am a single man with 3 girls 3 7 8 and we have been on our own and there "MOTHER" left us for a man who beats her how is that for setting an example for female children????? LIfe in my world I loved my wife she left us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-20 13:30:29 · answer #10 · answered by valveman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋