I have just finished with my girlfriend of five years, very very torn up and lost.
We have argued a lot and neither of us feel like ourselves anymore.
She still loves me and I her but she has said we need to take six months apart make new friends and do new things , she wants me to stay in touch and get councelling for problems I have had, mostly bitterness and anger about loss.
She said she will date other guys but no relationships and she thinks I should see other women and even sleep with them if I wish.
She thinks there is a slight chance but by no means certain we may get back together one day ie after the six months.
She wants me to stay in touch but not too often, how do I go about this.
I love her dearly and miss her, how do I ensure that in six months we have the best chance of getting back together, how often and how should I stay in contact, six months seems like such a long time will she have moved on beyond all reach from me by than.
Please please help m
2007-01-20 05:02:19 · 17 answers · asked by PB 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but your girlfriend sounds like she wants to have a taste of whats out there to see if she can find somebody better. Ya know what they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. She is being totally selfish so don't hold out for her- even if you want to. You'll be better off in the long run.
2007-01-20 05:18:26 · answer #1 · answered by MrsMatsuyama 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The best way for you to heal would be to stay away from her for a while - if you continue to be in contact with her and you see her with another guy it will cut you up very badly - I personally think that she has ended it completely and saying it is a 6 month break is her way of ending it gently - I am sorry if that sounds harsh but that is how it usually happens. Go and get the help you need for the issues you have and that alone will make you stronger and feel better in yourself. Go out and meet new friends and start living your life without her and who knows in 6 months you will be a different person and it may just work but if not you will be strong enough to move on and start dating again - good luck and I hope it all works out for you
2007-01-20 13:19:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Firstly sorry to hear you have split up but it sounds to me that your girlfriend has tried to let you down gently. Would you leave her alone if there wasn't the chance of speaking to her on and off and hoping you will get back together after the six months? I think she has put it this way to get you out of her life so that she can go out and meet someone else (if she hasn't already) without the worry of you turning up and spoiling things for her. It also sounds like she had someone in mind and needed to be free to pursue it. You need to get yourself out in the cattle market again and forget about the six months break you never know you might find someone better and not want to go back. What ever you decide to do good luck and I hope this helps.
2007-01-21 14:41:59 · answer #3 · answered by unhappy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes! that sounds bad. six months is too long...by then anything could happen. you just never no. Sure maybe your relationship needs to have some space. But there are all different ways how partners can improve on relationships, and taking time apart isn't always the best solution.
This might not help you feelings but i once read this problem on a website and it said that her and her boyfriend had taken time apart for 2 months, i think. and she had fallen madly in love with another person and had fell pregnant in that time. She had promised the boyfriend that she had taken time apart with that she would always come back to him. But the boyfriend had found someone else by then too, so they took separate ways....So things do happen...
Also choose wisely about your desicions; If you trust her enough then go for it...just prepare for anything. Good luck. :)
2007-01-20 13:20:36 · answer #4 · answered by BlueSparkleee 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
TRUTH TIME:
No... she's probably not seeing/interested in anyone else.
I'm telling you, I'm currently [temporarily] seperating from my boyfriend after 14 years and really wish we would've seperated much sooner (like 10 years ago).
If you two don't seperate now, you'd end years later in a slow death, not having sex or even attracted to each other anymore, bored, angry, resentful.... like us.
More important than getting her back is your own personal growth and happiness. Are you happy? No. Go find yourself and your happiness again. Life is getting shorter all the time and you're not getting younger. In the end your happiness will have meant more than any miseable lifelong dedication to someone else, no matter how much love her. Until that's resolved it's useless entertaining the idea of being with her or anyone for that matter.
2007-01-20 13:28:58 · answer #5 · answered by mia b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing with with medium term breaks is that they often become permanent.
Stay in touch by all means, but listen to what she's saying;
Is she trying to be kind to you by saying there is a slight chance of getting back together. Please don't kid yourself and hold out for this chance. Take the opportunity to get to know yourself in those six months. Don't go through each week holding out for that contact with her.
I think she's laid out her own rules perfectly clearly.she plans to date , and sleep with, other men.
Is she try to assauge her own guilt by suggesting you do likewise?
I'm very sorry for your grief; and make no mistake about it, you are grieving the loss of your relationship.
I would suggest to you that you become unavailable to your ex; not in an unkind way, but if she suggests a meeting to catch up, say you have arrangements made, and YOU suggest a time and place for meeting.
Honestly? It sounds as if she has grown tired of the relationship and wants out, but doesn't want to let go of you entirely.
She's not being fair to you. She can't have her cake and eat it.
Use this six months to grow; learn a new skill. take up a sport, travel. Be unavailable to her.
I hope you find peace
2007-01-20 13:19:56 · answer #6 · answered by marie m 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but it does sound as though she wants out of the relationship but is feeling guilty about that. You should ask her if she wants to finish it because it sounds as though you are still clinging on to the hope that you will get back together and 6 months is a long time to be feeling like that. She needs to be totally honest with you.
2007-01-21 06:41:48 · answer #7 · answered by chelsea19622000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
son, it's time to move on. there is no chance none what so ever. if a girl tells you that it's okay for you to sleep with others (come on now, can't you see) she'll do the same. i know that heartache is a deep, deep, deep pain. but it's something that you need to go through. once imurge, you'll be stronger. cut this one go, there is no bright future for either of you if you guys want to work things out. don't stay in touch, don't call her. this is for your sanity and steps you need to take to start a new life.
2007-01-20 13:45:05 · answer #8 · answered by harmony 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hiya, im really sorry for what you are going through at the mo, breakups are always hard, especially if you have been together for a long time. maybe your girlfriend feels trapped and just isnt sure what she wants anymore, when you have been with someone for a long time its easy to feel bored and want to experience new things and you sometimes wonder what it would be like to be with someone else. maybe you do need some time apart to see how you both feel about eachother but i hope she isnt stringing you along as it wouldnt be fair if you wait for her for six months and put your life on hold when she could meet someone else and want nothing to do with you. you need to talk to her properly and try to find out if she has any intentions of getting back with you cos i know its hard but i think she wants to move on but is trying to let you down gently. i wish you all the best and i know it doesnt feel like it at the moment but you will feel better and in time you will be able to move on and meet someone who truely deserves you. good luck xxx
2007-01-20 13:18:27 · answer #9 · answered by materialgirl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it sounds as though she is confused your relationship is very serious and i guess at the word marriage has been mentioned to you both at some stage. it sounds as though she thinks she might be able to live without you and wants to check if its true. she is being fare in a way however much it hurts.i wouldnt advise sleeping around though if she does realise its you that she wants the fooling around may cause problems. if you love her hold on a while but dont harrass her just let her know your still around but not for ever.
2007-01-20 13:34:47 · answer #10 · answered by NICOLA G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋