I am dating a man that every Saturday night he is obligated to go to dinner with his exwife , her husband and his kids. Is this normal . I never heard of such. He says they are just friends. I went a few times and then the ex wife started causing trouble so I refused to go any longer. Just thought I would get some more opinions on the subject. Sounds to me like she wants her cake and to eat it too!
2007-01-20 04:34:07 · 19 answers · asked by dandee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok so he goes because he wants to go ...Her new husband never says anything he is afraid that she will leave him. He is really insecure. to start trouble his ex wife tries to say that I said things that I never said in conversations to her. I just dont even talk to her anymore and I quit doing the saturday night eat out deals. he does go by himself and I do other things .
2007-01-20 04:51:11 · update #1
Not normal, but sometimes good, (short story) My X and I became good friends after the divorce, we got along way better because we didnt have to listen to each others crap if we didnt wish, just "hang up" The kids liked it and it worked, when I started dating my new girlfriend said it made her uncomfortable, so I called the X, told her the scoop and she agreed to back off and keep it real. Well as time went my girlfriend became good with her X, Not a problem till my X was mentioned and then it was not good, works her way but not mine, It has caused many a arguements. Tell your man to get it straight, let his X know that it is not comfortable for you and that if they cant come to and agreement, then he is not looking out for you, it is fine to be friends, as long as it works for everyone involved, if not, find another man who is more supportive, but don't dominate over him afterwards. Sorry, but if nothing else I feel better, Thank You
2007-01-20 04:55:10 · answer #1 · answered by Captain Carnage 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is wonderful for the children that they can be friendly toward each other and that they can get along to do things together. If she was trying to cause trouble with you, then your boyfriend should have stopped it.
Are you being overly sensitive to things that she says and does because you do not like the situation? It would be easy to have a problem with this as the girlfriend being left out.
If it is important to him to spend that "family time" with the children, try going again. If this relationship is going to work, you are going to have to deal with her eventually.
Yes, it does sound strange that the ex-wife, her husband, kids, etc are going to dinner together, but for the kids it can be such a positive experience.
Good luck with this situation.
2007-01-20 04:51:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't blame her, blame him he is the one if your dating that shouldn't be taking wife out every Saturday night or any night, The only time your stay in good grace with a ex that is if you have children , that is only a friendly hello when you pick your children up to keep them. Evidently he isn't really wanting to turn totally lose of his ex wife. I never heard of anything like this before. You need to set him down and tell him no more Saturday night dates with your ex, if you take the children I'll go with you but you have to leave Mommy at home. If he doesn't agree with this you need to run not walk away from that relationship, your being used.
2007-01-20 04:47:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should continue to go with him. every Saturday night is not OK. If she is married than there is no reason you should not join them, Or his kids and the guy and you can have dinner on Saturday just to very things. The problem is that you are currently dating and not yet married so your status as girlfriend and not wife can put you in a disadvantage. If you are not sure that this is the man for you, then stay out of it, but if you plan to marry the guy, he must give consideration to how you feel.
2007-01-20 04:44:47 · answer #4 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
normal I don't know, unusual no. My friend's ex used to go to holiday dinners at her house for the kids all the time, that way the kids didn't have to get pulled apart. He was just another guest at dinner. They wouldn't bring "dates" when marriage occured then the married partner was welcomed to join. Once their children where married they may both end up at the same kid's house. My friend says it nice they have a divorce that works much better then the marriage did, they are not close but its nice that they can go to something for the grandkids and know there will not be problems. She says its like seeing an old friend or cousin.
2007-01-20 04:44:54 · answer #5 · answered by Pandora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason why she needs to be at that dinner. He can spend time with his children without her. Its nice that they are still trying to keep some sort of family tie together, but the reality is they are not a couple any longer, and they should not act like they are. It sends mixed messages to these children. Kids always want mom and dad together no matter what age they are. Because this is hurtful to you, your bf should consider your feelings here. If it causes too much friction in your relationship with him, you need to decide if you trust him enough, and love him enough to be able to handle this situation with out it driving a wedge between you. I do not think these dinners will last forever. Be patient, things will change. Remember he will always have some sort of relationship with his X, because of the children.
2007-01-20 04:45:16 · answer #6 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there and done that. I get along with my ex hubands wife, very well. But I also have no desire to get back together with my ex. And don't cause problems with her. I know that she is going to be there for my daughter. My daughter is 18 now.
If she were over him she would not have a problem with you being around. My husbands ex is doing the samething to us. If you want the realtionship to work then she needs to get use to the fact that you are in the picture. Put your foot down with her. And let him know where you stand in this. If you are going to be part of his and his kids life, then the ex needs to "get the point"
Good luck......
2007-01-20 05:17:47 · answer #7 · answered by ~Carolina Beach Girl~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is great (especially for the kids) when divorced people can remain friends, but this isn't a friendship, it's more akin to a hostage situation. He's "obligated" to go to dinner EVERY Saturday night? That is absolutely bizarre, and there is something very wrong with him going along with this.
2007-01-20 06:57:20 · answer #8 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a uncommon case while the ex's nevertheless get alongside, nevertheless it would be an excellent component for all little ones in touch. i might propose to him that his conversations approximately such are no longer ideal and that they hassle you. Ask that he shrink his conversations to purely the youngsters to guarantee you that there is not any longer something happening or emotions do no longer exist. If that variety of communique nevertheless exists then i might say they nevertheless have emotions for the different and you're absolute to be harm, if he's authentic to purely talk along with her concerning to the youngsters then you definately ought to characterize something to him and her no longer.
2016-10-07 11:09:42 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess this is what people call a modern day family! I call it weird! if you couldn't get along while you were married why would you want to spend time with them at all! And for him to go out to dinner with her new husband. I find that even more odd. But then again people in this world strike me as odd.
2007-01-20 04:51:04 · answer #10 · answered by SecretFriend 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋