I wrote this.Would you please give me your opinion about it?I am 16,and an amateur.Thank you.
For Me
Touch me and make me immortal-
eternal like the time that moves on.
Look at me and make me beautiful-
mesmerizing like the snow sparkling on mountaintops.
Smile at me and make me pure-
refreshing like the rain that is pouring down on me.
Take my hand and make me safe-
secure like the treetops nestling in the mountains.
Look into my eyes and make me know
that you will be there
Ready to catch me when I fall
ready to love me forever
Sometimes it feels like my heart will turn over with all the love and pain--
tell me you will make me feel like that forever.
I can live for you
to be by your side-
if you tell me that my being with you makes you
complete.
2007-01-20 04:11:57 · 16 answers · asked by Morphia 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
The content of this poem is quite beautiful, and indeed very emotional. The primary function of most poetry(in particular that modern non-rhyming medium) is to convey strong emotion. But even though the structure begins strongly enough, it deteriorates toward the end.
2007-01-20 07:06:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really liked the first 9 lines and would have ended the poem there, as it actually caught my attention, and few here do. the rest of it after the first 9 lines i would trash though - its way too cliche - heard over and over.
2007-01-20 12:27:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A+
2007-01-20 12:22:25 · answer #3 · answered by Slay Specialist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like that poem. It's deep. I like writing poetry myself.
2007-01-20 12:15:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's beautiful, Morphia! Thank you for sharing it with us. Keep writing, you have a real talent.
2007-01-20 12:15:06 · answer #5 · answered by Dorothy and Toto 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad! You should consider entering poetry competitions!
2007-01-20 12:16:31 · answer #6 · answered by Yvette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too cliche.
I have read way too many poems like this.
But other than that, it isn't that bad.
2007-01-20 12:18:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a good poem but i think it would sound better as a song
2007-01-20 12:16:25 · answer #8 · answered by shinybuttons_dontmakefunofme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats touchin isnt it?
2007-01-20 12:15:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes that poem is really pretty and deep
2007-01-20 12:16:44 · answer #10 · answered by basketball22ash 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋