I admit it's hard for me to say no. I'm a very nice person and might be considered a perfect roommate. I really don't mind letting people borrow stuff, however she is asking too much!! Things such as my laptop, which she will keep for hours at a time, my iron, clothes, towels,etc. She has even asked for water, food thats been in the freezer for a while that I haven't eaten, and rides cause she doesn't have a car. She's getting on my nerves! She calls me a bestfriend and I think she is not being truthful about things.The thing about it, she is an only child, and her parents have very nice careers, according to her. How can I break this cycle without being mean and harsh? Am I being used?
2007-01-20 03:55:02 · 6 answers · asked by Lovely 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
standing up for yourself does not make you rude or harsh. what it does is keeps you from being used as a door mat.
I assume the things you have are all things that you have worked hard to acquire, why would you let someone not willing to put forth the effort to achieve the same things you have enjoy the benefits of your success?
you need to speak up and not worry about this persons feelings because it's obvious they don't care about yours
2007-01-20 05:49:08 · answer #1 · answered by mark_grvr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like you are being used you probably are, Whether or not those are her intentions is another story. You have created a comfort zone for her to come to you and ask you for things. First learn the word no. I am a nice person too and I know its hard to say no but try it. Have her sit down on the couch and tell her you want to talk with her. Explain first of all how you value her friendship and cherish that but explain to her how you feel and tell her its not that your being rude or trying to hurt her feelings but she just needs to take more responsibility for getting her own stuff and by you just lending things to her all the time shes not going to why should she she has YOUR stuff....lol. If that ruins your relationship then hey its better off and at least you will have your stuff for yourself. good luck.
2007-01-20 04:10:57 · answer #2 · answered by jlofayetteville 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time she asks you to use something, smile and say, "I'm sorry, my therapists told me i have to get better and saying NO, don't take it personal, this is self-improvement for me!" Then hurry up and turn around go to your room, the bathroom, somewhere she isn't, she'll be less excited about asking you for fear of rejection. If it's your laptop, give her a time frame or tell her NO, i've got a report, an online date or I'm trying to increase my YA points.
Whatever you say, say it with a smile and it may be hard at first, but in the end she'll be stronger and you won't have to deal with a leach!
2007-01-20 04:43:34 · answer #3 · answered by Bryan's Wife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your answer is in your first sentence. it is hard for you to say no, therefore she takes advantage of that. I bet you are a scorpio. you will never change so you have to be mean and harsh if you can.
2007-01-23 17:03:26 · answer #4 · answered by luciousgreeneyedlady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her nicely to please stop because that is your stuff and you payed for it. tell her that she needs to respect your stuff and its not her property to use and that the next thing she loses shes gonna have to take responsibility and pay for it.
2016-05-24 00:51:40 · answer #5 · answered by Delores 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know that she could get it herself because you spend money on this things.
2007-01-20 04:16:16 · answer #6 · answered by LIZA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋