My daughter is a great kid. She gets good grades, works, is very active around the house with chores and all of her younger siblings, she has a great personality, is social and active with her friends (no boy yet) and is just a great kid.... very beatuiful too! I love her to death but a FACE piercing???? And in the bottom lip! Someone, please explain to me the facination with piercings! And, since I remember being a teen myself I know that if she wants it bad enough she will go ahead and get it despite what we say...only it wil be somewhere we cannot see it and then I have to worry about where it is and who she is showing it to (you know, like a tatoo on the bottom) how do I encourage her to wait until she is 18! HELP!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!
2007-01-20 03:31:42 · 30 answers · asked by MaHaa 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Also, I think it speaks highly of her that she came to us with the idea of a piercing and didn't go behind our backs and just get it...I am very confused!
2007-01-20 03:33:22 · update #1
Your daughter is not a child but a young woman, show faith in her judgement and support her decision. Wait for 18 why, I'm sure she is a few months maybe even days away, but relating to her as the young woman she is will go along way in establishing an adult relationship with her for years to come.
2007-01-20 15:05:43 · answer #1 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When I was younger I wanted an eyebrow piercing. I never got it and now I'm glad I didn't. People are very superficial when it comes to things like hiring for jobs and stuff. If I had a piercing I don't know what kinds of jobs I would have been able to get hired for.
I would suggest having that kind of conversation with her to let her know that she should keep an eye toward what she might want later in life. So talk to her about which piercings heal over the best should she decide to take it out later. Also talk about which piercings have the smallest hole so that if she does need to take it out for like just a day or so the hole won't be all that noticable. (A lot of jobs have rules about no face piercings.)
Talking about these things now will make it stay in her head as she gets older. This way when she's 18 and can pierce whatever she wants she will stop and think about it and hopefullly get the least-intrusive kind.
And there's nothing wrong with you saying to her that while you appreciate her coming to you before getting anything done, you'd really like her to wait until she's 18. Point out that it's only a few months away. She's already waited a long time, so a few months won't make that much of a difference.
As long as she doesn't pick up on the fact that you're freaked out by the idea everything should be fine.
2007-01-20 04:34:36 · answer #2 · answered by Jen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she wants a piercing that bad then what about her nose or belly button? Comprimise with her. Nose piercings are very cute (when its a stud) and very small. Also dont forget they are not permanent. I had both my nose and my belly button done, and now im 25 and both have been gone for about 2 years. Just talk to her and figure out why it is she wants the piercing and why the lip. She could just be fishing around to see if she could get a piercing in general and what your reaction would be. She doesnt sound like the kind of kid that would do it anyays.
2007-01-20 03:38:39 · answer #3 · answered by Maw730 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she has never done anything bad that would give you a reason not to trust her, then you need to do just that TRUST HER. She is 17 years old now. You have to be comfortable knowing that you have done all you can do as far as instilling her with the proper values that she needs in life to separate right from wrong. You cannot pick her friends. You cannot control her friends. You cannot control what she does when she turns 18. I think your 10pm school night curfew is reasonable, since many states have state curfews for minors at the same time. I don't think she should have to be in bed at 10pm, but in the house is reasonable. I think your midnight curfew for weekends is also reasonable, giving her plenty of time to hang out with her friends and do whatever it is that they do when they are together. As for the friends, you have to hope that this is just a phase and that she will grow out of it, and realize that they are too immature for her. Forbidding her to see these friends, trying to restrict her from seeing these friends, etc are all tactics that will backfire and you will end up with her sneaking out of the house and not knowing where she is at all times of the day and night. All you can do is remind her that you love her, and that you are against tattoos and piercings. Remind her to use protection when having sex, and that drugs are dangerous. But most of all, remind her that you support her no matter what she chooses to do in life. You can only sit back and pray that you have raised her right at this point.
2016-05-24 00:48:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen, you are the parent, and apperantly she really respects her parents, but you might be rong on the "she'll just go and get something no one can see thing".
If you are right about that, I would honestly suggest letting her get it, and you going with her, find a good clean place.
The facination with the face peircing is probably just wanting to show the world she's not an extreem goody goody. I was (what sounds like) like her for quite a time, and was getting tired of the expectations that had been built up on it. She might want to get it so that expectations are slightly lowered on her.
frankly I have to say I would be way more on her side if it wern't a lip peircing, to noticible later on in life....
2007-01-20 05:57:23 · answer #5 · answered by A Reading Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there certainly could be worse things, but I still would have to say no if it was my daughter. She needs parent permission if she under 18 and is going to a shop to have it done. She's 17, and can almost do it without your permission. Tell her your concerns and the fact you respect that she came to you, but you don't feel comfortable with this. Ask her to do some research on the pros & cons of face piercing (some employers will not hire you). If she still decides that she wants to do it then tell her when she's 18 she is free to do what she chooses with her face. By the way, make sure the place is clean and licensed these places have horrible reputations and can transmit disease to thier customers, not to mention toungue piercing can lead to speech impediments that do not go away even when piercing is removed if the piercer does not do it correctly.
2007-01-20 03:41:21 · answer #6 · answered by Stephanie B 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Piercing the bottom lip is a common thing these days and I would prefer my child to have that that could be removed rather than a tattoo.
Let her make the decision, show her pictures of infected piercings and the dangers, and let her make the choice for herself - at least she came to you and asked permission, not many kids these days would!!
Make sure she takes care of it, and if it gets infected / sore - it is her responsibility
Ultimetly she is probably going to get it done when she is 18 - or worse, go behind your back to do it.
Make sure its a reputable person that does it - and remember, it can be removed with little scaring!!!
2007-01-20 03:38:41 · answer #7 · answered by schmushe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her to a place that does them and ask them about it. Maybe she can watch one being done (which might well scare her off the idea). If she still wants it, remind her how impossible getting a job with a facial piercing will be. She might be a wonderful person, but many places won't hire someone with such a prominent piercing. Maybe convince her to get a less obvious one, like upper ear cartilage or bellybutton.
2007-01-20 03:39:29 · answer #8 · answered by allieluvsorli 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
piercings are just a form of self expression, most kids actually outgrow them by the time they reach their early/mid twenties. My daughter had her eyebrow pierced when she was 16, at 17 she had to remove the ring for an eye doctor exam and just never put it back in. This is one of those times when you have "pick your battles" Kids will always rebel against something, it is a "rite of passage" if you don't make a major issue out of it they will rebel less because there is nothing to give their rebellions credence. Would you rather she have her lip pierced in a safe, clean environment or have a friend with a dirty needle and a pair of dirty pliers do the job for her? Sometimes it comes down to just that...
2007-01-20 04:06:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
as being a teen my self (i'm 13) i have my nose my eyebrow my tongue and my ears done and i'm getting my belly done and i have a tattoo well if you can get her to give you a good reson why she wants this piercing then i would let her have it because they are the big thing now and i don't know how long she has to wait until she is 18 but no worries you have or her dad has to sign for her or she has to have proff she is 18 so if you say no then she has to wait until she is 18 to get it done because it has to be her parent or her self all the while haveing proff of being 18 so don;'t worry about it well that is unless she has the nerve to push a needle through her lip and i know that when you want a piercing bad enough then you will do a lot to get but i have tried to do my lip and it hurts to bad so she will lose her nerve and i don't give in to pain easy i have done almost all my piercing myself so you don't really have to worry about it!!
2007-01-20 03:41:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋