My baby daddy and I have been together for 4 years, and he recently broke up with me to be with some one else. At the beggining of our relationship, he was the one that wanted me so badly. I wasn't ready for a serious relationship, but, I stuck around b/c he would threaten to kill himself if I left him. During that time we got pregnant, and he talked me into keeping the baby. So, I did. I gave up my scholarship for college and so many other dreams to stay with him, and become a family. He promised marriage to me. After I had the baby, the roles were reversed. I gained so much weight and became so self concious about myself that I felt like I would die if he left me. He did. Now, I feel so inferior to him like I am nothing. I feel as though he doesn't want me, so who else will? I was very good to him, and did what I could to patch up our troubled relationship, but, he didn't want it anymore. He is still there for our child, but he forgot about me. What happened?
2007-01-20 03:19:38 · 13 answers · asked by Stefi13 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
People usually want what they can't have. Remember that. When they get it they seem to lose interest.
This has happened to me in a very similar way. I went on, went back to school, it was a struggle but I made it happen. A few years down the road I found someone that wanted the same things in life and loved my children like his own. It can happen.
Once I was engaged to another man, my ex wanted me back, NOWAY! Just keep yourself busy. I know it hurts right now but do what you were going to do before. Go to school, take care of your child and go on. Life goes on rather we like it or not, no matter how we feel it's up to us to move with it.
2007-01-20 03:25:17 · answer #1 · answered by LC 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your not inferior to him, your just feeling a little insecure right now. Two blows to your ego at once, baby weight and his cheating. don't worry, the most important thing you can do right now is take care of that baby, and when you feel up to it start eating more sensibly and taking walks with the baby. The weight will come off and you will start feeling better about your self and see him as the dissappointment he is. I am glad he is there for the baby though, lets see how long he stays involved. When your confidence is back he will be back, and then you can decide if you really want him back : ) Remember you are the same wonderful person, and have alot to be proud of . Before long you will be called "The Hot Mom"
2007-01-20 12:05:27 · answer #2 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God gave you a backbone for a reason, use it! You've allowed this "child" to come into your life and interrupt your education and career path, help you make a baby, and now that he's grown tired of you, left you by the wayside. You became co-dependent to someone who just wanted you only for a night, or two. Now, he's stuck with you for the next 18 years - for what???? Because he loved you??? Not for one minute, did he really love you. If he did, he either would have supported you while you were in school, or he would have waited until he was in a house, with a car and job that would support a family. No, he was horny - period!
You feel inferior, because you are seeing him in a false light. If you were to compare him to someone who really were a responsible man, you'd see how pathetic he really is. No real man would ever threaten to kill himself if you don't be with him.
A real man would've dated you during your college years, and allow you to either grow into or out of your other relationships all without demanding sexual favors.
A real man would show his love by supporting you in school. He would buy you books, pay for your meals, or pay for your transportation home. He would show your family that he can be a good husband and father.
A real man would've been honest with what he really wanted, and not pressure.
If you haven't already, you need to get back to school and finish what you started. Tell him to support his child while your get your education. It is his fault you didn't finish, so he should at least be a man, and be there to help you finish college.
Next, start dating. OTHER PEOPLE!!! Don't get serious, just be sociable. Make sure the people you go out with knows you're in school. If you get someone who acts like the 'him', you know to run the other way.
2007-01-20 12:19:29 · answer #3 · answered by somatek 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eleanor Roosevelt's famous quote, " No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." seems to apply to you at this point in your life. At some point, the confident you was over run by a needy you who did not feel worthwhile. Rather than staying with you to help you work through this, he packed up and left.... so, good riddance. You are better off without him. But now is time to get your confidence back. All people want to feel good about how they look. If you are unhappy with your weight, then do something about it. Maybe a new hair style would give you a lift. Experiment with new make up... and if you can, invest in one new snappy outfit that he would definitely notice the next time he comes around. Be glad he is involved with your child, but also be glad this shallow person will not be a partr of your life time plan. Now, sit down and write some goals and post them on the frig door. Good luck.
2007-01-20 11:31:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gave into him and let him have his way. When baby came and you where unable to lose the extra weight, instead of him helping you to lose the extra pound he made you feel inferior and seceded you where not what he wanted anymore. He probably has a girlfriend that looked like you before the baby. he is not a good person to be related to.
Show him that you can look good again, diet and exercise and get back to you again. You can still go to school even though you have a little one. There are programs to help you, Let him know you are better then he could every be.
Good luck and tell him to s***k off.
2007-01-20 11:40:13 · answer #5 · answered by Angell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to state he has used you. He wanted sex and was never in for a big relationship. The day you got pregnant I am sure he must have changed his attitude. Normally ladies gain weight after pregnancy and it was not abnormal. He simply took the exec use of leaving you. You are still beautiful but you need to take care of your health. Change your looks by way of hair style orcolour of hair. The moment you become slim he would be after you again. Do not get disheartened. This is not the end of the world. If you have the time continue your studies, there are lot of on line courses available which you can pursue. But ensure that the guy does not come back to you again and even if he dares to do so do not accept him even if he threatens to die. no one in this world will die for some one else.
You are the best as you are facing the situation boldly and there are millions out there to accept you. You should not worry in this aspect.
Best of luck
2007-01-20 11:28:37 · answer #6 · answered by Tony 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
when u first met him, u were flattered by his love for u, u were such a challange to him, getting u boosted his self worth. at first u felt he was inferior to u. now he has left to be with someone else, and u are blaming it on you. no matter how much we try if someone has begun a new relationship with someone else they aren't going to value us, they can only see the new person. what happened was he is immature, saw someone he liked better and moved on without a thought to u. hurts alot, takes time and distance to get over it. too bad u have a baby with him and have to see him all of the time. sometimes we give our love and committ when we shouldn't have. we feel we gave up everything to be with him, and only to be kicked to the curb because he now has someone else. u made some bad choices, but we do when we are young. don't allow his opinion of u or the fact he left u define who u are. loose some weight, and get back in school, and u will find love again. u lost nothing at all but a cheater with bad character, and he won't treat her any better, if she changes and we all do he will be out looking to trade her in also.
2007-01-20 11:38:36 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that's BS what he did, begged you and then left. Forget him. Live for you and your child. Just hope that when he has visitation, that the other lady treats your child good.
As for you, take care of yourself! Get into shape, know that you are beautiful, know he doesn't deserve you. Look your best when you see him, not to get him back, but to let him know what he lost! Stay away from relationships and work on you and enjoy your relationship with your child. Keep your chin up too! Good Luck to you. Be happy!
2007-01-20 11:28:38 · answer #8 · answered by Adrian 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were so unfortunate to meet such a male pig!! Be happy he left you before you got married. He is not worth crying over!!!!! Be nice to yourself. One day when you feel better you can start to loose weight and find your way back to the old you and you will be ready to love again. Make sure you will find somebody that respects you as well as loves you. Wish you the best of luck!!
2007-01-20 11:29:54 · answer #9 · answered by Eileen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is for you and ALL people. If soeone is threatening to kill themself if you don't commit to them... Ummm that's a big sign that that person isn't right in the head.
OK, for you... Go on a diet, Get your self esteem back, if not for you, for your child. You don't need a relationship to be happy, and until you understand that, a realtionship will NEVER make you happy.
2007-01-20 11:27:11 · answer #10 · answered by picalibur 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋