My husband and I have been married for two years. lately he dont want to help me. We have 10 mon old twin girls and I do all the work! I get up with them in the morning. I change them feed them and bath them without his help. I am a stay at home mom. so is it wrong to want him to pull alittle whaight around the house before he has to go to work?
2007-01-20 03:00:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WHAT IS MNWOMAN TRYING TO SAY JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB OUTSIDE THE HOUSE YOU HAVE MORE TIME TO DEVOTE TO TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS. I HAVE TWIN DAUGHTERS TOO THERE 18 NOW AND TWO OTHER DAUGHTERS I WAS A STAY AT HOME MOM UNTIL THEY WERE ALL IN SCHOOL I THINK YOUR HUSBAND SHOULD HELP A LITTLE BEFORE HE GOES TO WORK IN THE MORNING SIT DOWN AND TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL AND ASK HIM WHAT HE FEELS HE CAN DO TO HELP YOU BEFORE HE GOES TO WORK EACH DAY. GOOD LUCK
2007-01-20 03:24:13 · answer #1 · answered by rhonda r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't generally belive that a woman should do alll the work in the home, but I am afraid in this case I am going to have to side with your husband for the most part. You are so lucky to get to stay home to raise your babies and you should be thanking your husband for that, since not everyone is so luck to be able to stay home. At least your husband is providiing for you and his children so you don't have to go to work outside of the home and put your babies in day care. Think of it this way, he does his job by providing food, clothes, a house, furniture and all the material things you have. You do your job by taking care of the house, caring for the children and making dinner etc. So it is an even trade.
One thing you might talk to him about though is maybe he can keep the girls for an hour or two a couple of nights a week so you can get out with friends without the kids. I know that stay at home moms get ovewhelmed with the day to day responsilbities of taking care of their families and homes and sometimes lose sight of the special gift they have been given. I know that I would love to be a stay at home mom, but for financial reasons that is just not possible. You should really thank your husband for giving you the gift of being there with your children. So many of us would love the chance to do that.
2007-01-20 11:17:40 · answer #2 · answered by hargonagain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Dear, I know it can be very hard and it can be very stressful for a mom with young children. Some men have a hard time knowing what to do. You may have to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him. Explain that you feel like your becoming exhausted and that you so appreciate him working outside the home and that you love him for that. If he knows he is valued and not having fingers pointed at him, then share your concerns for yourself. If he loves you, he will respect your wishes and he will try to help more. Tell him you have tried your best, but now you have reached your exhaustion point and ask him if he has any ideas that can help with the situation. As long as he doesn't feel like your blaming him, he will be more opened to you and your concerns. Goodluck, I wish you the best with your beautiful twins and by the way Congradulations. I am a stay at home mom also with 2 beauitful children that I home-school. Enjoy your family!
2007-01-20 11:07:08 · answer #3 · answered by Shannon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You failed to explain if: 1) Did you ask him for help?; 2) Did he refuse to help you when you asked for help (if you did asked for)?
Men sometimes are blind to their wife's need, some guys think "if she don't complain, it means everything is fine and cool", and maybe he think you are a very happy as a stay home mom.
Men and women view something a different way so talk, because he is not going to read your mind.
On the other hand, I don't know what kind of work he do, but working by itself is very stressful sometimes (sometimes is like living hell); but a good husband is willing to take crap all day just to help and support his family; But if he get late to work because he was helping you or because he didn't sleep enough he'll be fired. Also working and thinking about home-problems is a recipe for getting fired due to poor performance or for job related accidents.
But if he is not busy, stressed or tired from work and refuse to give you a hand every time you ask for, then he is just a jerk; and there is no cure for that; you got what you paid for.
2007-01-20 11:39:45 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, i am a single man with no children, BUT, I get dumped on by all of my married friends complaining about this kind of thing. The problem always seems to be the one at home all day long goes kind of nuts. Try to say to yourself that this is only for awhile and then you are committed to going back to work or filling your days with adults to balance the kid thing. yes it will be more costly with daycare, but even if it is breakeven, you are doing something for yourself and will feel much better around your husband and appreciate what he deals with every day. Believe me, in the work world, no one cares that you have young kids at home to care for. I have seen them fire people left and right regardless of a home situation. so cut him some slack, his day is stressful, he worries about you guys (whether he tells you or not) and look out to the future and realize the infant stage is only temporary. Also, ask him if there is some work of his you could do and help him with. you know, maybe bring home a project that you could work on during the day. no one at work has to know, but you could feel like you are helping with his side of things too. he would appreciate it I am sure...even just asking and saying you want to help make his life easier too and be his partner in crime. don't complain about your day but ask to help with his...he will really appreciate that you would do that given all you have to do at home. good luck
2007-01-20 11:32:13 · answer #5 · answered by keepingitgoing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is tired from working to take care of his family. I think as a stay at home mom you would be able to take care of all that.
2007-01-20 11:05:32 · answer #6 · answered by mnwomen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it's not wrong. Being a full-time parent is harder than working. And he should want to be a part of his children's daily lives anyway.
2007-01-20 11:37:50 · answer #7 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it's not wrongto want alittle help .
2007-01-20 11:05:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no its not wrong there is little girls to
2007-01-20 11:09:09 · answer #9 · answered by Chesney A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him the truth, let him feel what u feel, tell him that i can't keep going this way...
2007-01-20 11:05:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋