Do you consider yourself a loser?

Question

I consider myself a loser mainly because I have the potential to do ANYTHING. The problem is, I missed my entire childhood and therefore, my formative years were warped by the pedophile who stole them from me. Basically, I am angry, often. When I'm not angry, I am depressed because I have so much to do. It's a Catch 22.

I have managed to do some amazing things with my life, but I stay upset. And what really ticks me off is when blacks, gays, Republican's and Liberals all complain that they're getting the short end of the stick. Let me tell you, you don't have a clue what getting screwed over is like until you've woken up with a dick stuck in your face at the age of 6 or 8 years old (and I'm a heterosexual male....that makes it worse for me psychologically.)

That single event and my choice NOT to tell my Dad at the time, cost me my entire childhood. I am 44 years old now and life has been pure hell. Trying to make sense of that proved impossible.

Continued....

But now I have children of my own and the only thing about my lack of a childhood is that i know how evil people can be and more importantly, I can spot a sick frickin killer a mile away.....if I look at them. Sadly, I just voted Republican when I voted for Bush. I didn't even question his integrity because I always considered myself a republican. Anyway....

The problem is, and subsequently my LOSER question, Now that I have children and I love them more than life, Bush starts this GODDAMN war crap based on lies. I can see right through his lies, they are CLEARLY LIES. It drives me NUTS, knowing I lost my childhood to a sick bastard, but now I am going to be forced to watch my children grow up in wartime and then this government thinks they are going to take my kids and stick guns in their hands to fight conjured up enemies. GODDAMN this bullhit.

The fact that I can do NOTHING, AGAIN, makes me feel like I deserved to be abused as a child and therefore, a loser.

What about you?

Answer 1

I AM NOT A LOOSER...is that clear ????

Answer 2

This isn't about me, it's about you. You still hold a lot of anger, and justifiably so. But you don't seem to realize that the anger is hurting you, not the abuser. So the sicko-creep wins again. In your heart, you have to KNOW that it wasn't your fault. You were a child, not an adult as you are now. You honestly and truly did not have a choice. It was not your fault. Your successes are being tainted by your past. The past cannot be changed. The future can't be manipulated. You have the present. You can choose, as an adult, your response to everything. Including politics. Including your feelings about yourself. Every time you feel like a loser or down on yourself, STOP....try to figure out what is making you feel that way. When you get angry, do the same thing. If you find it has to do with past horrors, accept that and see if you can look at that situation or moment in a different light that has to do with what the situation really is.

Answer 3

I don't think that you prefer to be unhappy over happy|

You have suffered a terrible injury.

But believe it or not, it can be healed.


There is a principle, the greater the death, the greater the subsequent resurrection|

I know this to be true in an absolutely amazing way.


In 1979 I made the dreadful mistake (in my first year of university) of getting involved in Transcendental Meditation.

It promised to fulfill all of my dreams.

But what it did instead was despoil me of everything.


What I did not realize, and what I know now, is that the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi concocted one of the most cruel plots that has ever been devised.

He created TM to castrate the frontal lobes of the brain - to disconnect them from the rest of the system|

And this is exactly what happened to me - and I underwent the most dreadful torment for 2 1/2 years after I quit TM when I realized my mistake.

It caused years and years of problems after that|


However, God is good - God is so good.

Not only is He healing me, but He is bringing the most amazing and incomprehensible things into my life - Wow!


Read the book of Job, and how after Job's desolation he is restored twice as much as what he had in the first place, and is given the faculty to understand the incomprehensible mysteries of God that he was totally incapable of in his original prosperity|

Read the 11th chapter of the book of Revelation in which the two witnesses do amazing work, are overcome by the Beast and are gloated over by their enemies, and then rise from the dead, standing on their feet, then called into heaven, while their enemies stand frozen in sheer terror, as a tenth of the city falls into ruins, 7000 persons die in the earthquake, and the rest are so terrified that they worship the God of heaven.


Heck! Read the whole book of Revelation!





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Answer 4

I feel for you, but please don't make the mistake of comparing your situation to the perils faced by blacks or any other oppressed poeple for that matter. APPLES and ORANGES. What happened to you was absolutely horrible and all of the child molesters/abusers in the world should be held accountable and punished for the many lives that they have ruined. I don't know what happened to the person that abused you, but just the fact that you are talking about it is helping someone out there. Too many perpetrators get away with their crimes because the victims are too scared or too ashamed to tell. Maybe you will give others the courage to come forth and tell their stories. In the meantime, you mentioned tying to make sense of this whole thing. There is no sense to be made. It wasn't your fault and the person who abused you is sick beyond words. Please seek counseling if you haven't already done so and continue to tell your story. Good luck to you. I am so sorry that you had to go through such an awful ordeal. No one deserves that.

Answer 5

Wow!!! Ok, so your whole childhood was wasted!!! Don't waste anymore time. It sounds like you are confused, angry and mad. My daughter was molested when she was four, and it was a tough row to hoe let me tell ya. She jumped up on my bed one day and said, Mom, So and so ruined my life. I looked at her, and said, he only will ruin your life if you let him. You are the one that has control over what you do in your life. He is not sitting around feeling bad for what he did to you. First of all, you need to know that what happened to you was not your fault. There are some sick people out there. You have to come to terms with this evil in your life. The sooner the better. You need to talk to someone. Talking helps. You need to cry, and be sad, and get all those emotions out of you, that you have kept inside. Most of all, try praying, I know most people don't want to hear that. But prayer has helped me in a lot of aspects of my life, when I felt it was not going to well. Or I just needed some reassurance or peace. I know you are thinking, it's easier said than done. It's not. You have let this one thing in your life overtake you and make you miserable. It's time you take back your joy, and laughter and most of all peace. I am not saying it is easy, but you need to deal with this pain head on. And put it in the proper prospective so that you can enjoy your life again.

Also, in God's eyes it doesn't matter what we have done. He loves us all. You are not a loser. You have just let a life situation get you down. It's time to get back up, dust off your knees and get on with the program!!! You CAN DO IT!!!!!

Good luck!!!

Answer 6

you need healing of some kind for your hidden pain. we don't travel with labels so unless you ask for help from who may help you then you'll ever remain empty.

you've made a pretty good life with the tools that you've developed through what life you do have.

peace of mind is hard to come by. i know. but it is a decent goal and would go a long way for you and the lives that you touch. if you truly have heart and are the master of the power of your mind then you have the tools to develope your personal self discipline. good luck

oh ......yeah.......i'm not sure how to fathom my self esteem but i've never ragged on myself and said i'm a loser.

Answer 7

I definitely do not consider myself a loser, and no one should. Everyone has something that they're good at and lots of people can do many things.

Answer 8

You are going to have to come to terms with your past. You are going to have to come to terms with yourself. I don't know.