Should I tell my husband its time for his mother to go back home.?

Question

Here's my problem for one me and my mother inlaw do not get along at all. She dosent get along with anyone because she is always talking about people and lieing on people all the time. She is the ultimate trouble maker. Anyway she came to MI from GA she has been here since 2weeks before chirstmas and she has got on my last nerve with the way she treats my oldest son. My oldest son who is 8 years old told me she punched him in the stomach and that has done it for me. Not to mention that since she has been her she has been sleeping in my 8year old room and that is not fair because he now has to share a room with his younger sister and brother and me and my husband only have a 3bedroom home right now which is enough room for me and him and the 3 kids. My 8 year old is very mad because he says he is tired of not sleeping in his room and his bed and I totally understand because I feel we are making all of these changes for her and all this lady has done since she has been here is lied on me

I feel my kids come frist and for the person who said that there is nothing wrong with my 8year old having to sleep in his room with his silbings u try it and furthermore we have never got along due to this women lies and drama she has over stayed her welcome and Im telling her a** she has to go. I have been more then nice. I have decided to handle her a** today not later. Thanks for those with good advice. And if it was my family over staying there would be a big problem but my family has more sense then to do something like that its called respect for other which his mother does not have. And her a** is going today I've been nice for to long and if ur child told u something like that u would be very angry. I dont have to be nice anymore look how long she has been with us and that is very off. But it stops today.

Answer 1

I think discuss the problem with your husband and complain while you are alone and listen to what suggestions he gives about solving this problem. Try not to act angrily but conversationally and in a mood for discussion. Secondly, you alone or better still, with your husband, can talk to your MIL and tell her that giving her one whole room has been difficult for children and that they haven't liked her behavior and her bullying. Tell her that you don't want your children to have a negative image about their grandma and really want her to mend her ways of interacting with them. But if she thinks that she is doing right, you do not think so and that you both should part ways until things cool down, at least for children's sake, so there are no permanent strained feelings and scars in their hearts and minds. I think it is the best you can do in this situation.

Answer 2

Yes, tell your husband it's time for his mother to go back home. Any resistance, get the ticket, call the cab, pack a lunch, call her neighbor at home to expect her. I can't believe she punched your child. She'd have been gone the next day, and not welcome back the next time she asks. We had a problem once sort of like this, and were namby-pamby about it until an incident that we couldn't gloss over/make excuses for. We put the relative off a year or two so we could get over the trauma and our anger. Our kids HAD TO COME FIRST.

Then when she came again, we made certain that WE desired the sleeping arrangement and told her a departure time that we were firm about. Motel sounds like mother-in-law's next place to stay. Offer to split the cost to show that you're not completely unloving. Of course the cost will make the visit shorter. How sad. Remember, your children come first. God bless.

Answer 3

If you do not remain the cordial host, then you're playing into her hands, she wants a reason, any reason to justify her feelings for you. Old southern broads are the nastiest. Sure you have to stand up for your children, but "gramma punched me?" c'mon... sounds like your eight year old is trying to play gramma's games. You need to talk to your husband. He grew up with the old bird and knows what she's capable of... And if his Mama raised him right then he should have no problem taking you in his arm and standing beside you while you say your peace to Ma Belle. You don't need to confrontational, bad manners are not what's called for... Be polite, and be forthright. Tell her your concerns, For the most part these ladies take and push as far as you let them and thern snicker about what YOU let them get away with.

Wanna stop being a door mat? remember this... then review some of your personal history... to see if it's true or not... WE teach people how to treat ourselves... what have you taught your mother in law about you?

Answer 4

Im sorry i find it very hard to believe that your husbands mother "punched" your 8 year old in the stomach...

2nd of all its not going to kill your 8 year old to bunk up with his younger broher and sister..

3rd i do think that the vacation is a bit long..anyone that knows anything, knows that the longer 2 women are in the same house together the more chance of problems arising..

4th, Its not ur mother and u need to back down a bit..its your husbands mother and he should be the one dealing with her and not you..

5th i have a feeling ur 8 year old son has caught on to how u feel about ur mother in law, hearing conversations ur having with others possibly on the phone etc.. and is using that to his advantage by joining "team mom".. and i think ur feeding into it..

Family should never come to visit more then 2 weeks.. and i suggest u make the most of this visit and try to put up as much as u can, and get through it and once she is gone, let ur husband know that anything over 2 weeks is to long and come up with a 2 week rule for guests.. that goes for ur family as well..

Everyone likes their privacy and u just cant have that when theres guests in ur house.. u cant just "relax" .. but if u rock the boat to much u risk the chance of really upsetting ur husband and making him feel his has to pick and choose which will be very hurtful to him to have to do.. that is his mother.. think if the roles were reversed.. if your mother as much as u love her was there and driving him crazy .. and he wanted to kick ur mother out how would u feel? Because ur use to the way ur mother is.. certain things she does may not affect u the way they would affect others and im guessing the same with ur husband and his mother.. so take the kids out and do something with them for awhile take a breather with out the mother in law just to relax for a bit.. catch ur breath put up with it alittle longer, till she goes back home and then let him know that no more of this monthly visit stuff 2 weeks max limit..

Answer 5

Get the private detectives to get some proof of what she is doing, and then show the PROOF to your husband. Also, get a Restraining Order against her once you have the proof, so that she may not come within 100 meters of your home again. She sounds like a nut case! Be careful.

Answer 6

oh my hell yes, granny needs to get movin out! since two weeks before christmas? wow I don't think I could handle mother in law that long, and for hell sakes she punched your child in the stomach?? get her out. tell your husband if she doesn't leave you and your children will stay in a hotel, that should work, oh man some of these mamma's boys are hard to deal with, but yes tell her to get out, how can you and your family have a normal life with her there doing the things she is doing, and yes it is un healthy for your child to be away from his bed :( my sympothy to you!!! I see your a kind hearted person and want the best for your family, this is not the best, make her leave!

Answer 7

Why in the hell has she stayed that long Yes i would definatly tell her its time to go and I don't know what you did when your son told you that she punched him but i would have told her to get out and never come back the minute I heard that,well i take that back i have a bit of a temper so i prolly would have punched her and ask her how that feels but normal people would tell her to get out.....

Answer 8

Tell your husband your son needs his room back. She can sleep on couch or he can get her a hotel room but your son gets his bedroom back. If he does not like it then tell him to go to her place and get the visiting thing with her done and come home when he has. till then just send money to keep this house going

Answer 9

It's time for you to put your mother-in-law on that Midnight Train To Georgia! She's been intruding on your space, she sounds like a real jerk and the last straw was when she hit your son! NOBODY should be hitting your kid!

Tell your husband that his mom has to go!

If he says no, let him know that you'll be going to see your mom, and you might not be coming back!!!

Answer 10

Absolutely.You need to talk to your husband in a nice way ofcourse but you have every right to have her go home.When it starts to affect your children's feeling's and well being it is definately time to send her packing.It is very disturbing that you said she punched your son in the stomach.That is completely un-called for she has no right to put her hand's on your children in that way.Good luck to you.If you need help e-mail or IM me I will tell her it is time to go home..