We are married for 12 years and have two wonderful kids who we love very much.My wife is in love with her classmate who is happily married for 14 years. She says she was driven into it by me as I spent my money and time in drinking and not working.I feel guilty about it as it is true to some extent. But I was picking up my pieces for the last couple of years during which she started the affair on net and phone. When I confronted her with her passionate love letter she lied first and then confessed to the facts written. She met this guy only once in a remote resort and professes platonic love.She says she doen't know his email address as the book containing it is lost. I am confused and pained as sometimes visualised divorce but not an affair. Besides she was with me when I was terrible and now when I have reformed myself largely, this thunderbolt struck me. The fact of being written off her life silently pains me more though she says she will be with me if I am good enough.
2007-01-20 02:09:00 · 5 answers · asked by havah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is obvious that YOU are the main problem in this separation of values. You have a history of problems otherwise you would not need reform. You said you have changed "largely" which means not completely! It's time you make a decision. Maturity or immaturity. No in between will do. Drinking is historical for immaturity. Financial instability doesn't smell of maturity either does it? We can't be sympathetic to your "pains" while you have an on-going battle "paining" her! There is no advice to be given other than GROW UP!!!
2007-01-20 02:24:07 · answer #1 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are funny how they can find an excuse as to why they have cheated in any form. I believe that if she were really driven to anything it would have been leaving you. For her to have affairs is wrong. I think if I understood this right that she is in love with someone that is married, so that is the reason for the affair. If he were available she would have already left. But since he is not then why leave you when she can cheat and blame the whole thing on you? Feeling bad for you......
2007-01-20 10:17:44 · answer #2 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband did alot of bad things to me in the begging of our relationship and i use to wonder how he would feel if it where him. We now have everything worked out and i no longer think about getting even. If your spouse still wants to carry out this scandals plot on you than i would think that its her and not what you have done. You may want to think about why you have to be GOOD ENOUGH and she does not. People make mistakes. If she is meeting with people behind your back then that might mean that she is just waiting for Mr. write to get rid of you. It really sounds like she is using you.
2007-01-20 10:29:33 · answer #3 · answered by puppylove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it might be too little, too late. people can only take so much. i wish you the best and im glad that youve been able to turn your life around. the only way you could move past this,is if she cuts off ALL ties with this guy and i would suggest professional help, as you guys have some hurt issues. hurt turns to resentment
2007-01-20 10:18:04 · answer #4 · answered by *never give up* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
may be she put you their in your own litter space,,does she really love you if so ,,she would,t step-ed out on you ,,,be Strong my friend talk to god he will help you now,,if she loves you then she will meet you 50/50
2007-01-20 10:16:19 · answer #5 · answered by yome 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋