What makes us feel negative about our selves?

Question

How can we stop feeling negative and only think of the positive things in our lives?

Answer 1

When we stop listening to those who demean us in order to make themselves feel superior, and realize the problem is not within ourselves, but within the person who has such low self-esteem the only way they know to make themselves feel better is to criticize everyone else.

Answer 2

'Messages' from parents or significant others, when frequently heard in formative years, can have an effect later on in life. Comments such as: 'You'll never be any good', 'You always were a failure and that's how you'll turn out', 'You're hopeless at everything you touch' may have a dramatically negative effect on a person's self-esteem. However, the person may not always be aware that they are responding to these early messages.

Sometimes it can take some weeks (or maybe longer) of therapeutic interventions to help the person to get to identify and understand these underlying motivators.

There are many ways of stopping feeling negative but these will depend on just how badly affected the person is. It may be necessary to seek professional help e.g. from a well-qualified counsellor, psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, life skills coach, NLP practitioner or similar. With or without professional help, self-help is important e.g. by stopping when becoming aware of negative thoughts and turning these into something positive (though realistic). Friends can also be helpful generally, particularly if the negative person talks to them about the nature of the problem, to gain their understanding.

Having said all that it is OK to talk realistically about some negative things as long as it doesn't just become a moaning session with a doom-laden outcome. See if the negative thing could be changed so that a difference could be made, and regard it as a challenge. We all have negative things in our lives; some of them can motivate us into action, some are best put down to experience while others can be dealt with in various ways. Some may need to be released along with any accompanying emotion e.g. anger, embarrassment, fear or shame.

Good luck ~RJS

Answer 3

most often an adult will feel that negative feeling about themselves because they are not what they figure is successful enough .
they may also know there stupid. they may no there is no real chance for a better life. they may no life is only going to get worse. they may simply no the truth about themselves and know they are useless worthless garbage .
how can they stop this thinking they can take drugs like effoxor and wellbutrin and live in an illusion that is only two doses away from the real truth about themselves .
as for teens that fail at school have learning problems and so on they are the same as the adults only difference is they have more of the crap life left to endure.

Answer 4

What makes us feel negative about ourselves? Other people, television, music, magazines, in short, most of society. They influence us in many negative ways that cause us to buy into beliefs that we aren't rich enough, pretty enough, or certainly skinny enough. You know, we don't wear the right designer clothes, or travel in the right circles, or have enough money to afford the best jewelry or live in the right house or neighborhood. Do you ever watch the "Red Carpet" events where all of the stars are stating what designer they're wearing? Who the f#*! cares?? (Uh, Oh!!, I feel a violation coming!)
Anyway, on to your second question. I think that we can stop feeling negative about ourselves if we turn a deaf ear and blind eye to those negative influences described earlier. If we are good, kind, and caring and helpful to others, we will begin to feel the goodness in our hearts. In the long run, that is so much more powerful than all of that other stuff. Afford yourself DAILY affirmations. I am good enough, I am smart enough, I am beautiful enough, I am somebody.

Answer 5

Your negativity!!!! though I has to recognize that I just now realize that your question made me feel better, not because you have giving me the chance to step all over you and tell you again and over again that you where negative. It seams positive to be aware of the world, as well aware than the World, can use a little positive attitude?, actions?, it seam my friend you just hit it right in the nail. there is only to settings, the living energy need to deal with, and that is intensity and sensitivity, by been intense when we see or experience goodness, of any kind, and we set our energy to the high intensity settings. We do positive, so in the reverse when we experience not to good, we should not act with intensity, so quickly, but sensitive, to wait or have more time to wait, for some more positive thinking. So then we can think in a positive word, action, or recognition of some good thinking some one took the time to put in writing, to make someone else life more interesting?

Answer 6

Feeling "negative" happens when someone or something attacks our ego, how we perceive ourselves to be. The trick is not to dwell on these uncomfortable thoughts but work through them. You have to release the negative feelings. Tell yourself others are entitled to their opinions but they are only opinions. Eleanor Roosevelt said that "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Treat every unfortunate experience as an opportunity to learn. Focus on how you will improve as a result of it, not on your current shortcomings. It is always a good idea to think about what you like about yourself and what positive things you have achieved today. Surround yourself with beauty and inspirational things.

Ultimately, everyone has negative thoughts. People judge and bad things happen but what must set you aside is your willingness to move on, learn and where necessary, to forgive. That's the way to stay positive. Well done for asking such an interesting question!

Answer 7

Nobody is perfect, but we desperately want others to think highly of us. We want to be worthy of other people's love and respect, but unfortunately we all make mistakes, come up short, do things imperfectly, etc. It takes a long time to build up personal strengths and accomplish things we're proud of. It's a part of learning and growing up, but we are very sensitive about our shortcomings. So unfortunately, all this can add up to feelings of low-self-esteem.

The trap is to discount the good things we do and overly emphasize the negatives. It's a terrible mistake. The only cure is to give yourself credit for whatever good things you achieve, no matter how small. Maybe it's just showing up for a meeting and making a small contribution. The problem is, people just don't give themselves credit. If you don't make deposits in your bank account of self-esteem, you can never draw interest.

Answer 8

We worry about what other people think What should I wear What should i cook for the guest have i been spending time with my kinds ben sure does theese are all questions that should never be asked also people tend to think about the past or future instead of the present that just makes time fly and u cant enjoy the world around u ur 2 busy thinking

Answer 9

I like what queenbee said about our ego being attacked and working through negative thoughts. Having our ego attacked means how we picture ourselves is in question. You may be in a transitional state of mind. I read a quote that said, "Our very essence is the realization 'I am' prior to 'I am this' or 'I am that.' Maybe there is some truth to what queen bee is saying and that you would want to try releasing some thoughts. I do this with classical music and letting the thoughts go whereever they go.

Answer 10

For me its the MIRROR... ha ha.

If ever I am feeling negative I simply stop whatever I am doing and think about all the great things in my life. Sure changes my tune in hurry for I have a great life and shame on me for ever being grumpy about it !!