Is it really rape? last night my husband and i were having sex. i wont go into details but he started getting really forceful and rough. i asked him to stop but he acted liek he didn;t hear me. when he put his hand around my neck he kept squeezing. i told him i couldn;t breathe and to let go but he just kept going. i felt so scared and ashmaned. i love my husband nothing like this has ever happened before. when it was over he rolled over and went to sleep and then this morning he acted like nothing happened. how should i confront him?
2007-01-20 01:28:11 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That sounds serious, and the fact that it is on your mind and made you uncomfortable, I suggest that you have a talk with him.
He has to understand that he made you feel this way and that this should not happen again. Just becasue you are married, does not give him casue to disrespect your wishes.
Talk to him about it, and you will probably feel better - maybe he really does not realize what he did at that time.
2007-01-20 01:32:55 · answer #1 · answered by sunnydayz 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I would just come right out & say, "So what was the deal with last night? What was with you choking me & not listening when I told you to stop?" Just don't come at him in a nasty way because he might instantly go on the defense & chances are you wont' get answers to your questions, you'll just argue. But that is very scary what happened. I know this has probably changed your view of the relationship at least slightly. I'd say the best thing is one step at a time. First see what he has to say, and then make a decision to either let the incident go or revaluate your relationship. If he does not acknowledge any wrong doing or apologize I would be concerned.
2007-01-20 09:40:21 · answer #2 · answered by Kelli McCoy 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Communication is the key to solve your issue. In a marriage, the key to a healthy relationship is communication. Let him know how you felt about the experience you had last night and how scared you were. Tell him that you didn't like the way he treated you and that you don't want that to happen again. But darling, talk to him, when you are all sober. If he is drunk, then avoid sex with him, until you can straighten things out.
2007-01-20 09:38:23 · answer #3 · answered by Big&Tall 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Take a baseball bat to bed with you next time because it sounds like he is starting to abuse you and you need to protect yourself.You do not deserve to be treated that way no one does.He sounds like an abuser.And the best thing for you to do is talk to him about it and if he says nothing happened leave him before he hurts you or worse.Good Luck
2007-01-20 10:35:43 · answer #4 · answered by sparky75us 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely discuss what happened with him.Don't just let it pass by...Tell him how you felt when it was happening and how you feel now.It may be that he was really drunk and had no sense of what he was doing.It also could be that he likes having rough sex and he never told you about it or he was afraid to ask.People have all kind of not so common ways to feel pleasure.Either way,you should never allow anyone ( even your husband ) to do something to you that makes you feel that way.Sex must be pleasurable for both lovers...
2007-01-20 09:45:29 · answer #5 · answered by Marianna D 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I don't know... but in the court of law there is no such thing as rape between husband and wife... he could be charged with assault or domestic violence however. that doesnt mean you have to charge him with it though, you could just divorce him. on the flip side though, some women actually enjoy the feeling of being dominated like that, maybe he wanted to see how you responded to it? did he actually hurt you? or were you just scared that he might? either way, you need to talk with him about it...
2007-01-20 09:33:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Talk to him about it . He may not recall anything about it though so keep that in mind . Make sure he understands exactly what happened so he NEVER does this again . Drunk or not !
2007-01-20 13:04:57 · answer #7 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you torturing yourself unnecessarily. Just another incident in your life that did not appeal to you. So you want to take some sort of action. Against who? Your husband? Do not waste your time even thinking about it. Go show your husband the same love and affection that you have always given. Be straight and generous. If you have a complaint against your husband, tell him straight and you will be freed of any confusion in your mind. Understand yourself first. Then try to understand your husband.
2007-01-20 09:47:55 · answer #8 · answered by Kool-kat 4 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Ask him if he remembers. That will tell you how he feels if he's acting like nothing happened.
In either case I'd tell him that it wasn't cool and it'd better not happen again. Stay calm and cool. Guys don't like raised voices and hysteria.
2007-01-20 10:07:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i really don kno much about this stuff but you said he was drunk i think it was the alchohol consumption that did that but ya that sounds seriously scary just ask him what was going on with him last night nd if your drunk u tend to forget things. its not rape b/c you both are over 18
2007-01-20 09:34:56 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋