I had to put up with the harassment of my husband for the last 9 years. He used to get drunk at night and abuse me for not treating him with respect or admiration or about my character. We are now married for 13 years and have two kids who both of us love equally well. He never did any job and sold away all his assets for family expenses and mostly for his liquor. We were seperated twice for a brief periods of two to three months. He always came begging for another chance to change himself. He never really changed his mode. I felt very depressed and I feel very sorry for him toobecause he is a pauper now though I have assets of my own. A classmate of mine gave a lot of moral support during this time through emails and on phone. Soon I really fell in love with this guy. This guy is also married for the last 14 years and loves his wife and kids. He is actually in US. My husband atlast started working a couple of months before this affair started and we more or less stayed together.
2007-01-20 00:37:16 · 6 answers · asked by havah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Life is complicated. I wonder if either you or your husband had any sort of moral training growing up, to have turned out the way you both did -- alcohol, brutality, infidelity a matter of course.... wow.
Also, you sound codependent. Please understand, depending on someone (mr. moneybags who's going to save you) is NOT the same as loving them. I think you've made that error once before.
2007-01-20 00:40:38 · answer #1 · answered by Typical McCain Supporter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep:
* taking abuse from your drunkard husband
* cheating on him
* committing adultery with another married guy
That sounds like the course of action that will cause the most pain, suffering, conflict, betrayal, and destruction of lives.
If you haven't left a drunk for over 12 years, you are as weak and spineless as he is.
Simplify your life by growing up, confronting the issues, divorcing him, not seeing the married guy any more, and finding a single guy to screw.
2007-01-20 09:00:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you need either marriage counseling or a divorce. You have put up with way too much for too long. Also, get him tested for Bi polar. Many of the symptoms you described points to that.
Secondly, stop the affair. He is married, you don't want to be blamed for the destruction of his marriage. The blame will be put on you not him. Also, you don't want to build a new relationship with this guy built on lies. If you two did end up together, it wouldn't last.
2007-01-20 08:44:21 · answer #3 · answered by alexis09178 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds you got it complicated this time.
does your husband repeat his behavior? is he still drinking? how does he treat you? your kids?
after you think it through the end, you must know that have to do what is good for you and your kids, forge about your husband. if he truly love you then he will surly try to show it.
if your kids are grown ups then you must talk to them before you do anything.
and remember that the other man is married with kids too. so i suggest talking to him too
2007-01-20 08:44:32 · answer #4 · answered by adam y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to leave your friend out of your family problem what you are doing is going to make another woman's life miserable you said he is happily married why would you want to mess that up u should try and find you another man not your husband cause he is abusive and not your friend cause he is happily married
2007-01-20 08:46:32 · answer #5 · answered by affh1st 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alexis explained my opinion betteer than I could have. Don't break up a marriage to be with a man who, while he loves his wife and kids, can be talked into leaving all that to be with another, he would do it again.
2007-01-20 08:51:20 · answer #6 · answered by Nort 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋