I made a huge mistake and need advice. This question is for mature adults only please.?

Question

I'm ashamed to say that I had a few drinks yesterday with my roommate's fiance and we ended up having unprotected sex. I didn't even think to tell him that I have herpes, although I am fortunate to have only had one breakout, the initial one, several years ago. I take prevention medication to reduce the chance of spreading it but I'm aware that there is still some risk. I think I should muster up some dignity and tell him. I just don't know if I should tell him now or spare him some anxiety and wait a week, knowing that if he did happen to contract it from me, it would take about 10 to 14 days to present itself. Please, no lectures. It was a mistake. I learned my lesson. I am in the process of packing to move for reasons unrelated to this incident. I just want advice on when I should tell him. Is it more respectful to tell him now or next week?

Answer 1

I think you should tell him now and have him go get blood tested today for HSV1 and HSV2. Herpes is a really common virus and most people who have it don't even know they have it. If he tests positive and the resulting numbers are high, chances are he already had it. If the numbers are low but still test positive, he MAY have contracted it from you, depending also on what type of herpes he tests positive for in that case and what type you have. So don't beat yourself up over it. It was every bit as much his fault for not being concerned whether or not you had an STD. He was thoughtless enough to risk it for himself and his girlfriend. And, who knows where else he's been anyway if he cheated on her with her own roommate. Maybe YOU should go get tested for other STDs too to be on the safe side. Some STDs don't have obvious symptoms and can really do some damage over time if left untreated.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

herpes sometimes doesn't present itself AT ALL...and if it does, it can take way more than 10-14 days. chances are he's already got it if he's dated around at all. I"m not saying don't tell him, but I think there is a chance that he won't get it from you. I find this disease to be so very common most people aren't so freaked out about it anymore. so if you do tell him, calm yourself down and do it in a way that isn't threatening. I'd say if you are going to tell him though you should do it right away and get it over with- why wait and cause yourself that much stress. good luck.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

okie no lectures. yes it was a mistake. we are all allowed one. =) but don't make two! tell him now! that is the most respectful thing to do. the longer you wait, the bigger chance he has of spreading it to his fiancee or whoever. he may have a rough couple of days until he finds out for sure, but in the long run that's more respectful.... at least in my opinion. Good luck!

Answer 6

Have unprotected sex with him again just in case he didn't contract it the first time.Second thought no don't do that.How irresponsible of you,Tell him right away and get it out of the way as soon as possible so he doesn't pass it on to his fiance or anyone else for that matter.

Answer 7

He would respect you more if you told him now instead of waiting for him to find out then he confronts you. You would not have any defence your moving out would not make things easier either. Just explain to him and even assist him may be to go for check up too. Wish you the best

Answer 8

Sorry to hear of your misfortune. This is an issue that you need to take care or as soon a possible for his sake and for your roomate as well. Damn that alchol anyway it sure can impair ones judgement huh. Good luck and hope this helps.

Answer 9

for sure tell him, so he/she can tell there fiance so after they get married or if they ever have sex it doesn't turn into a risk. the sooner she/he knows then the sooner any further spread could go thats if they have contracted. So i say for sure tell.

Answer 10

Hon! tell the poor guy now and give him a chance to beat it before it gets a hold! Then get out of there!