My husband and I went through a "rough patch". We have been married for five years ans everything is great now. During this hard time he thought he was going to divorce me. Well, he became friends a girl he works with. He thought (as well as others) that she is good looking. The problem is he still wants to be friends with her and ate lunch with her by himself even though I told him I didn't want him too. He said he wanted to tell her we were going great and wanted to know about her bf. Should I put my foot down and tell him I don't want him talking to her?
2007-01-19 21:45:51 · 14 answers · asked by Sonya N 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have nothing to loose. Everyone wants a friend.. dont be so possessive. He is not going to cheat. Just keep a check if he spends too much time with her. If you stop him more.. he shall do it more.. so just tell him not to go beyond being friends.
2007-01-19 21:54:04 · answer #1 · answered by hmmm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look I am a single guy I speak and flirt with a lot of women. You could say I find all women attractive, I do not know why, it could just be me. When I was in a relationship my G/F at the time never liked it very much, even though I had good intentions at heart. I also believe that if you find that one person to love and to hold that you should stick with her forever. If your husband is having lunch with a female work colegue then yes I would be upset if I were you. This can be a breach of trust. You know your husband better than anyone. This is why you probably posted this question. If you love him get him back. He is communicating and confiding in another women friend, this cannot be good in the long run. Before you jump into any conclusions, I would sus out the relationship between them and find out as much as you can before you start accusing. It could be inocent or he may have other intentions at heart. I will start covering ground if I were you, he mentioned divorce, this may be his vine to another relationship. He could be securing his next catch so to speak. If the girl he is with has any morals she will know that he is married and won't do anything sexual with him, women don't like cheeters. If they hit it off she may insist that you divorce so that they can proceed. I am not married, although I have been close to it. I can see the suspitious signs If I were you I will slowly start to cover my ***. Get a head start and speak to your lawyer and see what your options are. I am not saying this is what is going to happen I am just saying be prepared. Good Luck, your friend George.
2007-01-19 22:10:17 · answer #2 · answered by george 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know, the fact that things were rough for awhile, he probably had that being alone fear. I will tell you my gf left a few months ago and, while it sounds like i would have been cheating in a way, I wish I had cultivated more women just in case this happened. because chances are she timed it so that she had someone else to move on to and now I am left with a lot of emptiness (esp after I moved to her town). I would not wish this on anyone. I am not saying one should cheat, but having friends of the opposite sex should be acceptable. In the end we are all only one "dear John" away from being thrown to the curb. cut him some slack!
2007-01-20 03:01:15 · answer #3 · answered by keepingitgoing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would normal say put your foot down, but the way its worded then he is not talking to her much. If he has lunch with her every once in a while, and isn't talking to her often, then its ok. You should meet her your self. The big thing is he isn't hidding it from you, and that should go in the plus side of things.
2007-01-19 21:58:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds a bit sus to me. But, try reversing the situation. Ask him how he would feel if it was YOU doing these things with a fella at work, would he like it? You bet he wouldnt. But, on the other hand, you say, things are going great, therefore, you will just have to trust the man wont you? (I wouldnt)
2007-01-19 21:59:55 · answer #5 · answered by Daydreamer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to take you to lunch with him and her so you can be introduce to her as his wife, if there is nothing to hide. You are his wife not some mistress and you do deserve the right to know. If they are only friend then invite her and her b/f over for dinner? I think there is something more than that..
2007-01-19 22:11:20 · answer #6 · answered by Lilian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may backfire. You cant control him, if he is really trust worthy it wont be an issue. If he isn't, no amount of protesting will repair the problem, only making you appear jealous. Its a tough place to be in. Try to keep communication open and you will know if his intentions arent pure.
2007-01-19 21:53:30 · answer #7 · answered by Mystic M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be upset too.He started being her friend only because he thought he soon would be single and is attracted to her.Talk to him, tell him how you feel Thats what marriage is suppose to be about, telling your spouse how you truly feel is a must. If he can't respect your wishes, maybe you should go to counselling or it may be time to move on. If he truly respects you, he'll drop her.
2007-01-19 21:57:28 · answer #8 · answered by knhglassey@sbcglobal.net 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men have 3 categories of women:
[1] women we want to screw but haven't screwed yet
[2] women we have already screwed
[3] women too hideous to screw
And we don't have lunch with [3]s.
So, which is she - a [1] or a [2]?
2007-01-19 23:21:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Even if you put your foot down he is not going to stop. Let them be friends.
2007-01-19 21:54:55 · answer #10 · answered by ANU U 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋