Is it so wrong for 2nd cousins to be in love and want to marry?

Question

Is it so wrong for me to be in love with my 2nd cousin?
He is my mothers sisters daughters son...see the distance in blood relations?
If it is so wrong, explain why...and please do not use religious reasons because I am an agnostic and have my own opinions about that..thanks for your thoughts and help

Answer 1

Right and wrong are subjective in this case - every culture has a different definition of what constitutes incest. In some kinship systems (such as the crow), marriage to a distant cousin is considered preferable. Read up on it here, if you care to:

http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0002-7294(196304)2%3A65%3A2%3C296%3AOAACMA%3E2.0.CO%3B2-U

So whether it's "right" or "wrong" really only depends on what you beliefs on the matter are. Any answer I give would only be an opinion.

I can, however give you the facts that:
a) All states in the US legally permit marriage of second cousins (so long as they are different gender), and
b) Offspring of second cousins do not have any higher rate of birth defects than average.

Hope that helps.

Answer 2

The social/religious injunction against in-breeding/marrying is really the result of scientific/biological reasons. Within each family are recessive and dominant traits, including destructive ones. Continued marriages within a single genetic unit or line dramatically increases the likelihood of such characteristics coming into being. (you can roll the same two six-sided dice for only so long before you get double 6's).

As for being 'in love', that is entirely dependent upon the two people involved. It's not likely, but it isn't entirely beyond question either. If you are truly serious about marrying the person, I would suggest investing in getting your dna and blood-type tested for compatibility and possible genetic complications. It could be that both of you have hidden recessive traits that are more predominant in both, and thus has a higher chance of being passed onto your children. Even if you can't (or shouldn't) biologically have your own, there is always adoption.

Answer 3

Wait wouldn't that make you a generation older than him?

Also: there are genetic reasons against marrying close within the family. The reason is that it increases the likelihood of getting some weird genetic disorders that wouldn't show up if you married outside. You can see it in someone Amish communities that only marry within the community, after several generations they start having all these babies with 6 fingers or down syndrome.

I'm not sure if only marrying once kind of close within the family would matter much, but you should maybe ask someone who actually knows what they're talking about.

If you aren't planning on having kids then I don't see a reason for why it wouldn't be OK.

Answer 4

That's a good question,I am not sure how many times they'd have to be removed before it's not classed as incest.It sounds dodgy but a very valid question indeed.I guess it would be a moral question you two will have to discuss with yourselves,and the ramifications it could cause with your family if you were to go ahead and get married,or even if it is legal in your country.I really don't have an opinion on whether it is right or wrong,that second cousins are having a socially taboo relationship with each other.No doubt you are going to get a lot of do gooder answers to this question and possibly even a few nasty ones.Hope you resolve your dilemma.

Answer 5

it's only a "distance" when you make it sound as long as that but when you look at it it's still not as long as it seems, it doesn't change the fact he is your cousin, I could say "push your chair back out of my chair over that sock and 3 pieces of dust across the floor board that squeaks and over 3 more past a box and your at my bed" in reality my bed is 2 ft away not far at all you can make anything sound distant when it isn't.
It's a matter of morals is all

Answer 6

Your mothers sisters son would be your first cousin. That's too close. Second cousins can legally marry in most states.

Answer 7

You should get legal advice. If legally it is fine, then there is no problem. You could also check with your doctor and get their advice.

I know here in the UK first cousins can marry (albeit they are normally from another culture) and there is no legal or physical problem with it. So I can't see how second cousins marrying would be a problem.

I don't know anyone personally who has done it though.

Answer 8

Technically there's nothing wrong with it. It is legal and your unborn children won't have any complications. If you truly love him then follow your heart. Its just peoples opinions that make it wrong. But look how many people have a problem with gay people..You can't satisfy everyone so you might as well satisfy yourself.

Answer 9

ok, it is very simple, that there is a disease that every family has got so when u marry someone from the same family, this disease increase and ur children may have some problem, even if the distance was so far, this disease is there in each of ur blood

Answer 10

because people are closed minded. it OK in many cultures. it should a person chose but there could a conflict with a choose like this such as how other perceive you. if you can deal with go for it.