I just found out today that I am pregnant for the first time! I am excited, but I'm also really emotional and there have been a couple of tears. I'm 18, my boyfriend is 20, no we're not married but we live together (this isn't due to lack of commitment, it's because neither of us is religious and I'd feel pretty hypocritcal taking part in a religious ceremony), and we both have steady, full-time jobs, and he is continuing his education. We can handle it, in other words, but it definitely wasn't planned, considering I was on the pill.
I was just wondering what age some of you were when you had your first child and how your age affected you (if it did).
2007-01-19 18:49:32 · 11 answers · asked by grayhare 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I am aware that marriage is also a legal commitment, I am just saying that I chose not to do so. It's not the only way of life, you know! And that's not the question. I just wanted some ideas about peoples' ages when they first got pregnant or had kids, not your opinion on my age or marital status.
2007-01-19 18:58:41 · update #1
I agree with you! To me marrage is just a piece of paper and it should in no way change the way you feel about your partner. Start saving money! When you find out what the sex is go to Freecycle.org and find your state and area. You can start getting free baby things of the site. I was 19 when I had my first baby. I am now 24, married for almost 5 years and I have a total of 2 kids. We married to please his parents is all lol and bo it did not change how we felt for each other. I lost a lot of my friends. Some kids that age just dont understand whats going on when you get preg. Its life but you will soon find out who your real friends are. I lost my best friend of 11 years as soon as I got preg because she just could not understand and had a bad attitude prop. ppl will def look at you when you walk around with a full belly. Some will send you evil looks because you are still young and they will think the worst of you. Some will be understanding. When you pass another preg lady at the store, you will look at each other and smile, becuase you both know the secrets to having a baby and how amazing it is. Stay stronge and be happy!
2007-01-19 19:31:45 · answer #1 · answered by I hate stupid ppl like you 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was 22 when I had my first and a month shy of 34 with my second. At 22 I was probably not as emotionally mature as my daughter needed at times. But then I was MUCH more physically able to care for her than I was for the 2nd. So no matter when you have your children, it won't be perfect by any means. There is always somethign more you need or want first.
I firmly believe in marriage(for more than so-called "religious" reasons), BUT I also know that a child can be raised just fine by two single, loving, otherwise committed adults, like it soudns that you and your babys father may be.
There are other ceremonies you could have for weddings. My husband and I were married by a notary public due to a hurricane forcing our planned minister out of state :P They can be just as lovely and just as meaningful without either of you havgin to feel like hypocrites. Don't get married just because of the baby. If you do, make it because of you two!
I would personally highly suggest marriage, as it is so much more than "just a piece of paper" as I've often heard it called even if not done for religious reasons. But like I said I know many happy, healthy and well-adjusted adults who were raised by either single parents or by two adults committed to each other and just nto legally married. Best fo luck to you, your boyfriend and you soon to be new baby!
2007-01-20 03:01:47 · answer #2 · answered by Betsy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was single and 26 when I found out I was pregnant. (I didn't want to marry the father and we had broken up before I found out anyway.) Before this, I used to play around a lot, but after I was pregnant, I realized that here was this little child that was going to depend on me for most of his life. I realized I had to set a good example for him. Or her, because I didn't know at the time what the baby would be. I quit playing around. I got a steady job and saved my money. I grew up, in other words. Luckily I became more responsible because of the fact of having a baby. And I raised him alone until I got married when he was eight. The only thing that I would have done differently was more of a hands-on teaching process. I wouldn't have depended on the schools to "educate" him totally. There are a lot of things they don't learn in school. He grew up to be one of my best friends! (He's 30 now!) So all in all, my age wasn't the real situation. It was the acceptance of a life-changing responsibility. But also the acceptance of one of the best things that ever happened to me!
2007-01-20 03:01:08 · answer #3 · answered by mch 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
congradulations! I also don't agree with legal marriage as a goal for myself. Anyway, that is neither here nore there. I was 23 and gave birth at 24. It does affect you along and ties you down from going out... you will learn to shower quick lol... you are on call all the time and it is the best thing in world.
2007-01-20 03:02:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my boyfriend for almost six years. We are not married, and I am pregnant. We are not rushing out to get married, it is not going to change anything for us.
The pregnancy however is going to change everything. I am very excited about it as well, but I freak out about it sometimes as well. We are much older than both of you. I am 28 and he is 31. Instead of going out to bars (when you turn 21) you will be thinking of things you can go and do with your child. I wish you both luck.
2007-01-20 11:10:57 · answer #5 · answered by senorita_carlita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when i got pregnant, i had just turned 20, my boyfriend was 19. we were excited, although it was unplanned. we were both working, and we hadnt planned on getting married. well, we ended up getting married when i was 8 months along. we wanted to show our commitment to each other and our baby. it wasnt a religious cerimony, because neither one of us were religious. it was very nice! having a baby changed our lives, for the better. we love our daughter very much, and we are very proud of her. we are very proud to be parents. enjoy your first pregnancy! enjoy being a mom when the baby comes! i wish you and your boyfriend all the best of luck with the new baby!
2007-01-20 03:00:23 · answer #6 · answered by superyduperymommy 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I was 16 and my boyfriend was 17. Where fine with it. I was 20 when we got married.
I am 23 now.
And for the wedding, yes you really need to go do that for the baby.
Just go to the court house. and now we are wating on our first girl and it is our thired child together and it brang us closer together too
2007-01-20 02:59:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was 23 and hubby was 28. We were fine with it. I was 20 when we got married.
I am 52 now.
And for the wedding, yes you really need to go do that for the baby.
Just go to the court house.
2007-01-20 02:54:11 · answer #8 · answered by jeeccentricx2 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you should apply for state health insurance, that way you wont have to pay for the expenses of pregnancy, and it fits right in with your lifestyle because they wont give you free health care if you are married, at least not in my state
2007-01-20 02:58:24 · answer #9 · answered by Elizabeth M 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can have a non-religious marriage ceremony you know!
2007-01-20 02:53:30 · answer #10 · answered by Kurious Kat 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋