My two girls have their own bedrooms. They each have their own bathroom stuff that they pick out -- shampoo, toothpaste, deodorant. So I try to avoid that un-equal sharing crap.
But the big problem is that each of them goes into the others' bedroom to take things. They'll take things that they claim belongs to them, or they help themselves to the others' items (CDs, clothes, shoes, etc.). This usually happens when one is not at home. Then they come home, see that someone has been in their room, and they go to majorly fighting. I've threatened to put locks on their rooms to keep them out of each other's rooms. Can anyone suggest other alternatives?
2007-01-19 18:25:19 · 11 answers · asked by wedygli 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
It would be a good idea to put locks on their doors. This will continue until they move out of the house. When it does happen, take the item away from both of them, then punish them both for fighting. No tv, No cell phone/phone, no going to the mall or friends house. If you take away what they love most they will realize that fighting is no fun when BOTH of them are punished
2007-01-19 18:33:33 · answer #1 · answered by I hate stupid ppl like you 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The teenager who is stealing from the other should have to do extra chores and have privileges taken away. Plain and simple. If you just ignore the problem then the one who is stealing will never learn. Tell them both if they would like to borrow something from one another they need to ask before taking the item.
It wouldn't be a good idea to put locks on their doors! It's a major safety hazard. I had a friend in High School who had a lock. She committed suicide and her parents didn't even find out until morning because they thought she was just ignoring them. She stole their key to the room. Also if one of the girls locks their room and a fire starts it's just another hazard. I really caution you on the whole lock idea. It's scary what can happen behind closed--and then locked doors.
2007-01-19 18:34:49 · answer #2 · answered by .vato. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When this happens, you could confiscate what ever they have that is identical to the item that was taken. Do not give it back until they have completely stopped taking each others things. You may have everything in their room, but eventually it will stop. I wouldn`t care if it was toiletries. If they have to go to school with greasy hair and just a shower with water and no deodorant, so be it.
2007-01-19 18:29:36 · answer #3 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have them work it out themselves. Or you could try if one takes something than the other one has free range of there room. They should learn to share though, maybe get a lock box and the special things they dont want to share they can hide them in that.
2007-01-19 21:44:02 · answer #4 · answered by jess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hum, tricky. You don't really want to resort to confiscating things and saying "right nobody's having it" at this age. Clearly this is an aspect of their relationship they need to work out between them. I think I'd be inclined in this instance to deal with the part that affects you ie the fighting and arguing and let them work out the rest of it themself. I suspect it is a way of competing for you attention and at the moment it's working quite well so if they start to bicker about anything tell them to go into seperate rooms, preferably there own, refuse to enter into any discussion about who owns what. Tell them it's about time they grew out of such silly childish behaviour and you really aren't interested in it.
You could point out to them that one of the great joys of having a sister is to be able to share shoes, clothes, CDs etc but if they can't see how much fun they could have doing that and want to make it into a battle then that's their choice.
They have a whole lifetime of being sisters to deal with, they need to work out the relationship for themselves so the less you interfer the quicker they will achieve that.
2007-01-19 19:29:40 · answer #5 · answered by gerrifriend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This worked for me... If "Suzie" steals "Lizzy's" stuff she has to keep it. But she has to go out and buy Suzie an exact replacement with her own money. If Suzie fails to do this in 24 hours Lizzy can go in Suzie's room with you and take ANYTHING of equal value AND her own thing back. Equal value is up to you but I did "a shirt is a shirt" thing so there is no arguement about the cost of an item.
Tell them that their property has to be labeled with their name or it isn't theirs. they will spend hours trying to figure out how to put their name on their stuff but after a few rounds of this the stealing will stop.
2007-01-19 21:39:13 · answer #6 · answered by eric 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of the arguments.Letthem sort their own stuff out preferably within their own rooms and not within your hearing..If you keep interfering with their arguments they will never learn to resolve issues later on in life.They will also learn to get on as well.Some time later they will look back and wonder why they argued in the first place.
2007-01-19 20:07:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's what girls do, they take each other's crap, and then fight over it, there isn't really much you can do to stop it, except fuss at both of them when they fight and solve that particular problem at that particular moment.
2007-01-19 20:05:08 · answer #8 · answered by Confused & Young 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that would be best. And if they forget to lock their doors, then its their loss.
2007-01-20 02:35:51 · answer #9 · answered by Symbiotic Harmony 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
put their names (or initials) on EVERYTHING!
2007-01-20 00:28:36 · answer #10 · answered by Me me me me me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋