OK. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. Around our anniversary couple weeks after, I had found out he cheated on me. Which I was told by the girl on the phone. Even before then I was finding voicemail's by this girl on his phone and he didn't come home for 3 days and told me he went to cali. Well After she had told me they had sex, i put her on speakerphone and asked him, his eyes started watering up, anyways I love him and I stayed with him. He told me it was a mistake and he doesn't want to be with her, and that she was just obsessed. I know it is always her calling him, but yet sometimes he answers it. Anyways So i found that out in October 2006 Then in November he is still talking to her, i asked what the fuc*. He tells me to give him about a week so that he can break it off to her without looking like an asshole. (the girl is married and has kids and basically broke up their family now the girl doesn't want anything to do with her husband and he tells me that he doesn't want to be with her,) so you can see why he doesn't want to look like an asshole. But isn't that messed up he tells me to give him a week to break it off with her so her feelings don't get hurt. ("what about my feelings" is what i asked him he said "you don't understand" and says to me "What about other peoples feelings, it's always about you, stop thinking about yourself for once" (what the fuc*) So by dec. 23 came (me and him were good) he didn't come home, the 24th christmas eve still didn't come home, i called him ... no answer... christmas morning came he didn't even call me to wish me merry christmas, but i was driving everywhere to try to find him, finally x-mas evening I got a call from one of his friends, saying that they can't get a hold of him but there right infront of his car.(they thought he was w/me) I said where? they had told me he was at casino. So I drove down there sure enough his car was infront of the hotel building, so i made his car alarm go off. He turned it off but didn't come down, I couldn't tell which room he was in. So after about 30 min. making his alarm go off security was going to call police so I left. That was my christmas gift!! I know that lil bitc* was in there w/him. that night still never called me, havent heard from him till dec. 26 then he left again and came back morning on dec.31. He spent new years eve w/me yea, then he told me it was over and he broke it off w/her. He didn't even get me a present. So Jan 2007 he saying it's over, the 3rd he was talking to her again.. Now today is the 19th and I am home alone and he is not answering my phone calls, I know he must be with her...... I KNOW I SHOULD LEAVE HIM, BUT IT'S LIKE PART OF ME CAN'T, 50% OF ME WANTS TO GO 50% OF ME DOESN'T HOPING THINGS WILL GET BETTER. im stuck in love and need advice
2007-01-19 18:14:09 · 13 answers · asked by joker jester 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Please dump him already. It sounds like he's already dumped you, he just hasn't told you yet. And if a guy can't be happy with you and you alone, why bother with him? My ex-fiance cheated on me, he confessed this to me 3 years after the fact. I tried to stick it out and hoped things would get better, but it was just misery for the several following months, I completely lost my trust in him and it wasn't getting any better. I eventually broke it off with him even though it was painful to let him go (we had been together 6 years). But a couple years later I met this wonderful guy who actually treats me right, we've been together for 4 years, and it pains me to think I possibly could've never met him if I didn't have the courage to break up with my ex.
2007-01-21 23:33:18 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't going to stop if it's not her it will be someone else.It's going to hurt no matter what but the longer you put it off the longer it's going take you to heal. Don't disrespect yourself like this to many women do this and these assholes know that they can get away with it. You are important and need to make a stand for yourself. If you have a child in this do you want her growing up and thinking it's OK to be done this way. Leave with what self confidence you have left.
2007-01-20 02:29:22 · answer #2 · answered by queenie one 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It isn't going to get any better, while you stay with him he is going to keep cheating because he knows you won't leave, you may love him but does he love you? Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life, in this relationship or others like it or do you know that you are worthy of better treatment. Not to mention if there is one girl there's bound to be more and that means the risk of you catching an STD is getting higher. You know what you need to do for yourself now get the courage and do it.
2007-01-20 02:26:21 · answer #3 · answered by polynesiachick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know you should leave him but part of you can't? hmm. can't or won't?
i know, everybody's afraid of change. and right now you're probably scared that if you leave him you're gonna feel miserable and unloved and lonely. but think about it. at this point in time, you ALREADY feel miserable and unloved and lonely. you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by dumping the cheating jerk.
get rid of the guy and go look for someone more deserving of your love and your attention. given the way your current boyfriend is treating you, things are not likely to get any better. don't put your hopes in him anymore. there's some lucky guy out there who can't wait to make you happy.
go get him!
2007-01-20 03:03:30 · answer #4 · answered by january 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the curb NOW. He just used you for a booty call. He has absolutely no respect for you what so ever! He has moved on and so should you. You deserve better than him. There are too many guys out there for you to be stuck on a loser and abuser. Let the other girl have your leftovers, she will be used and tossed soon enough.
2007-01-20 02:46:14 · answer #5 · answered by Tumbleweed 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, you have to think about yourself. It sounds like he isn't.
How long can you possibly put up with him treating you this way?
It will hurt more than anything else in this world, but let him go and do his thing! In the meantime, go and have fun with the people that do respect you and answer your phone calls.....your friends!
2007-01-20 02:31:55 · answer #6 · answered by bynni_c 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you love this man, but he is not treating you well...Save some dignity, compassion & respect for yourself, dear one...This man is NOT a gentleman...He is a JERK! By asking you to give him a week to break it off...so that HE doesn't look like an a**hole...and so he doesn't hurt HER feelings...is hurting YOU!!
You wrote: "What about my feelings" is what i asked him he said "You don't understand" and says to me "What about other peoples feelings, it's always about you, stop thinking about yourself for once"...
OK...I say, he's thinking only of HIMSELF...He's a self absorbed...ego-maniacle lil' puke...AND poor excuse of a man...YOU deserve to be treated like a lady...by a responsible, loving, and respectable MAN...So, hold your head up high...know that you deserve better than what he has to offer...tell him goodbye...and MOVE ON!! When you continue to participate in this "cycle of emotional abuse" expect nothing other than what has happened...
There is a book called: Boundaries in Dating...it is spiritually based...but, certainly helped me understand myself...(what I will allow in my relationships...and what I won't)...I promise you that when you step away from this emotional roller-coaster...letting go of the "unhealthy ties that keep you bound"...you will begin to heal your broken heart...
Two of my favorite quotes: "We teach people how to treat us"..."What we tolerate, is what we get"...Best to you always...ciao, CAKES
2007-01-20 02:56:01 · answer #7 · answered by CAKES 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know u don't want to break it off because your afraid of the pain but you'll find someone better. you HAVE to do this or else you are agreeing to let him treat you like crap. let him go. its the hardest thing but you need to do it. it will get better with time. your not alone in wanting to be loved but he isn't the one.
2007-01-20 02:21:28 · answer #8 · answered by anonymous 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to dump him NOW! He is using you and will continue to use you. You deserve so much better than that. You need to have respect for yourself and stay away from him.
2007-01-20 02:27:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
in love with what? as long as your willing he will continue to do this to you. You are the only one who can end this. It isnt going to get better until you wise up.
2007-01-20 02:23:46 · answer #10 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋