my finace and myself are both deployed to iraq and his mother sends me emails about him being debt, money he owes to his ex wife, and plenty of other things. i dont know how to handle this, ive never had to deal with money problems or a liar. im not sure i want to be with im anymore and the only thing i can think of is leaving him, but it would kill him and his family, not so much mine though. I feel bad for even thinking about thins because of the deployment situation but what can i do??
2007-01-19 18:08:45 · 18 answers · asked by Heather H 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
get rid of him.be happy
2007-01-19 18:12:13 · answer #1 · answered by ann 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You have to talk to him. The most important thing is a relationship is communication. If he confesses everything, then try to help him. You have to work together-that's what being married is about. It's a partnership. If you love him, work out your problems now. If you can't trust him, and if you can't talk to him, your marriage will most likely fail. And if you've never had money issues before, you are blessed, but part of life is experiencing struggles.
Do you think maybe his mother is telling you this because she feels that you and her son should not be getting married? Or maybe she is afraid to lose her son to another woman?
If what she says is true, perhaps he isn't actually lying to you, but witholding information. He probably doesn't want to burden you or cause you worry. In which case, him not telling you is somewhat justified as an act of caring and love.
Again, just talk to him first. Don't do anything you might regret!!!
2007-01-19 18:23:24 · answer #2 · answered by Ashes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number one, are you SURE his mother is being truthful? Could it be possible that she doesn't really want you two to get married and she's trying to split the two of you up? Some people are really good at putting up a good front. I would suggest you confront your fiance before you make any decisions. If what his mother says is true, he might not admit it, but you will probably be able to tell if he's lying. And if it turns out it's not true, then you'll be glad that you didn't end a good thing for no reason.
Good luck to you.
2007-01-19 18:29:47 · answer #3 · answered by Mystical Illusions 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Y is she sending u e-mails abt him isn't he old enough 2 take care of his own business! Is he a mama's boy? U r not his mother or his keeper. I think u should e-mail them both & find out if he's lying or if his mother is coming between u!! If either 1 leave him becasue it will only get worse not better!! I will pray that u stay save!! Thank u 4 defending us!! U make me pround 2 b an AMERICAN!! I wish u could come home !! GOOD LUCK!!!!
2007-01-19 19:22:59 · answer #4 · answered by Missy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is very wise to check into a person's past when planning to marry someone. what he did in his past can come back on u if u marry him. if he is lying to u, means he doesn't want u to know the truth about it, as it may cause u to have second thoughts, but if it could hurt your future than he should have been honest with u. wouldn't marry this guy, nothing but a liar.
2007-01-20 00:20:27 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A MAN THAT MAKES YOU CRY, IS (NOT) WORTH CRYING FOR.
A MAN THAT'S WORTH CRYING FOR, (WONT) MAKE YOU CRY.
Its sad to say but, at some point in life you have to think of yourself first. Your happiness and freedom.
Relationships are based on important things like (in my point of view) COMMUNICATION,TRUST, and etc...
Obviously, your boyfriend and YOURSELF aren't honest with one another. I think you have every right to know the truth about his background. You also have the right to say what you feel toward him and how this situation is making you feel.
Remember : LISTEN TO YOUR HEART, the answers are there but, you probably just don't want to see them.
2007-01-19 18:37:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are desperate aren't you, why marry someone that you believe lies to you. Or maybe his Mom wants to see him get back with ex wife. In any case you should tell the mom to mind her own business. It's not her place to tell you these things and for you to let it continue is nothing less then spying on him. Shame on you.
2007-01-19 18:15:03 · answer #7 · answered by brp_13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm. how do you know that his mom's emails are true? have you confronted him about this? what did your fiance have to say?
before you finally call the wedding off, you should have a really serious heart to heart talk with him. let him shed light on the matter. then see if you can put your doubts to rest. if not, tell him frankly about your misgivings.
whatever your decision, don't base it on what his family or what your family would think. it's YOUR life.. YOUR marriage. not theirs.
2007-01-19 18:18:44 · answer #8 · answered by january 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that you aren't that in to him. That it's more on his side than yours. You need to take a look at what you are doing. Marriage is forever. Do you want to be married to someone you are settling for or do you want to go back out there and find the soulmate you deserve?
2007-01-19 18:18:08 · answer #9 · answered by Serinity4u2find 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it doesn't feel right to be with him anymore, you shouldn't. It would only cause bitterness inside for both of you. Take some time for yourself to think about what you really want and don't want in your life. Live your life for you. Be content with it.
2007-01-19 18:22:10 · answer #10 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mother in laws are evil and thet never give up i know just ignore her or put up with it mine still trys to controll our lives after 11 years and I lose and she usually winsso think about that he will be a mamas boy just like mine cna you deal with it I am about ready to give him back, Mama is trying to tell ya that she is his boss and and main woman and I still tell my mom in law that he is my husband but he still does what mama tells him
2007-01-19 18:20:24 · answer #11 · answered by colbydog43 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋