Okay guys.. Please help me out.
Can't get the man of my dreams (but yet the one I dumped ) out my mind....I adored him, but yet he pissed me off.
While we were together his efforts were real and obvious, but when we were apart his attitude was so arrogant.
He is really showing he is still interested. He's really everything I hoped in finding except the arrogance. He really is a Great catch, but he doesn't know I feel that way. He has every right to be arrogant because of his accomplishments, but still enough was enough.
Now that he knows I am involved in a serious relationship, his efforts are more intense, and in all reality, he is the one I want to be with.
What do you think? Is he playing me because I dumped him as he told me once "no other girl has ever stood up to him." Am I only a challenge to get back to dump? Does he really care? Or is he just screwing with me? Help me out... He's 49 and I'm 35. Don't you think we are way too old for? :)
2007-01-19 17:13:01 · 7 answers · asked by bentley b 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Well, to be honest, his arrogance sounds as if it has good basis. That doesn't make it arrogance than, simply supreme confidence.
Arrogance is boasting beyond one's capability to deliver, even to the point of denying anyone else a contrary opinion. Confidence is making statements that can be fully backed by one's own actions. Saying "I can carry this 50 lb bag of flour up 10 flights of stairs" is only arrogance if they can't carry it the full 10.
Why people confuse confidence with arrogance is because oftentimes, the other person's confidence usually contrasts with our own lack thereof. Their accomplishments and attitudes then create a tension within us that makes us resent them for being so 'accomplished'. In other words, the more confident they appear, the less confident we appear, so we call them 'arrogant' in hopes that they won't project so much confidence, and thus make us feel even more vulnerable.
Part of me questions if the reason you dumped him was a lack of confidence within yourself, a lack of being able to 'grasp' what it is that you wanted. Whereas a confident person, secure in their own feelings and beliefs, has no problem going after what they want (because they believe they deserve it) a person with low self-esteem will deny it because they think themselves unworthy. A person with a healthy sense of self-worth, passing by a set of dishes they find striking, and having the money necessary to purchase them, will think nothing of getting them. A person with a low self-esteem will find arguements to dissuade themselves from buying them (too expensive, need the money for something else, I have good dishes) because ultimately they think they don't deserve to have what they want.
And to be quite honest, how 'serious' is this relationship you are in if you are using it to basically escape from the relationship you want with the man who is pursuing you? You can't be in a serious relationship unless you are also 'seriously' committing to it physically, emotionally and psychologically. For at least two out of the three requirements, I don't see that happening.
Age is simply another excuse you seem to be using to avoid having to confront your feelings. Be honest with yourself, your current partner, and your ex., if for nothing else than to be sure that you are actually respecting the people involved in this, not simply just using them to avoid dealing with some uncomfortable personal issue.
2007-01-20 01:11:26 · answer #1 · answered by Khnopff71 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably realizes he won't find another Hottie 14 years younger than him you were his last hope , he is getting up there in age , hey only you know if he is right for you , If you have to ask especially on Yahoo Answers that tells me you are totally unsure , go with your heart that is the only way you will be happy !
2007-01-20 01:27:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
big him and little u will cause u to take him down to your level and have the courts beat the hell out of him and you can't avoid this it is built into the nice girl that the courts perceive we are getting-it is just a head game from hell so u know what u know i would rather u find the one that is crazy for you so u get the positive feed back cause if you don't u like to die inside of the way the game is played
2007-01-20 01:23:41 · answer #3 · answered by bev 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek God for comfort in how beautiful and pure you are and can be. Don't worry about men. The way they prove their love is to seek God's heart, and then he'll find out what's on your heart.
2007-01-20 02:36:27 · answer #4 · answered by What it is... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a plotline from" The Young And The Restless",isn't it.
2007-01-20 01:18:49 · answer #5 · answered by kevin k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please,you are frightening me.I did not know that old people still DID this.
Do you help him to collect his pension.
And what makes you presume that I am a guy.
2007-01-20 01:22:54 · answer #6 · answered by robert w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are a challenge that he wants to bag again. That puts him in control. Dump his old assss.
2007-01-20 01:22:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋