My husband called from work at 5pm to say he was going to "have a beer" at a coworker's retirement party, then come home. He said we (me and our two small children) could join him there later for dinner if we wanted to. I said no, see you soon. So I made dinner and told my 4 yr old she had to wait to watch the new Netflix movie until Daddy came home. I thought he'd be home by 7, which is normal dinner time. At 9:30, after kids are in bed, he calls from the bar/restaurant obviously drunk and says he is going to call a cab or get a ride home from somebody and he loves me. He is a good husband and a good dad, but about once every few months he does something like this. It makes me feel like he just doesn't care that I'm at home waiting, worrying, wondering..etc. Now its 10 pm, he's still not home and I am trying to decide how to greet him.
2007-01-19 17:02:14 · 12 answers · asked by ShortnSweet 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't make him sleep on the couch, but I wouldn't help him find his way to the bed (or anywhere else). No enabling.
Since this seems to be something he does "every few months", I think I'd insist on some counseling to find out why, with a wife and two small kids, he feels the need to "act out" and be "the naughty boy". These things tend to escalate and happen more and more frequently, and pretty soon you've got an alcoholic on your hands.
2007-01-19 17:13:37 · answer #1 · answered by Autumn R 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You said every three months he does this. This man is just taking some time for himself. Men need that so let him be. He did call you so he does respect you enough.. I have seen some men not call or come home so it is okay for him to have a good time every once and a while especially if he is a good one. So go rest your pretty little head and hope he makes it in safe. Not worth having an argument. Just tell him how you feel in the morning w/o arguing. Stay blessed!
2007-01-19 17:25:13 · answer #2 · answered by shay80800 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He calls to tell you he's going out.
He invites you and the kids to join him.
He calls again to tell you that he's late (and he knows it), and he's in no shape to drive (and he knows it), and that he loves you.
If he's getting a cab it could take a while to get to the restaurant. If he's riding with someone else, he's subject to their timetable.
It's a co-worker's retirement party. Give him a break - it's a special occasion. He probably intended it to be "just a beer" but got reminiscing and congratulating with his co-workers.
If you're tired, go to bed, and wait until the morning when you're both a little more clear-headed to let him know that you were worried.
Considering that most guys I know wouldn't have called at all, I'm thinking that your husband is one of the more considerate guys I've heard of.
2007-01-19 17:17:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
If he is a good man, let it go...people need to have a night out sometimes you know and it only happens every few months. Someone is retiring they've been at his job for a long time, sometimes you see people at work more than your family so they even become something of a family away from home. Don't take this one personally. Just ask him to call earlier next time but wait till tommorow when he is sober haha...plus if he didn't say he'd be home you can't rightfully expect him to be home at a certain time. Just don't blow it out of porportion, and if you need a night out he needs to understand that too...or maybe take the whole family out...plus don't forget he did ask you to come up there for dinner with the family too.
2007-01-19 17:14:09 · answer #4 · answered by Skinny 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If he didn't care he would not have called you and invited you out. Apparently, if he does not do this all the time, I do not see how you can think that he doesn't care. Might be a hassle to put up with every now and then, every blue moon it seems, you should not worry. Make sure he gets home alright, though, even if you have to wake the kids up and go get him yourself. Next time you'll no doubt go with him. This guy seems good, just make sure it doesn't become habit.
2007-01-19 17:12:54 · answer #5 · answered by poemonkey1980 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That sounds familiar. My husband does stupid things like that as well, we don't have kids but I don't like to drink so don't really like to go. I always get angry but with him being drunk it does not do any good cause it does in one ear and out the other. Wait till the next day and just lay it out there how you feel and let him know that it makes you hurt that he is selfish and that is fine but once you get married and have a family it all have to change and be part of the family.
2007-01-19 17:17:55 · answer #6 · answered by xyz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well do u know who he is w/? If he's not home or call by 11pm go to bed BUT leave him a blanket & pillow on sofa. Talk 2 him in the morning. If he calls then let him sleep in bed & talk w/ him in the morning!! NO matter what u do talk 2 him in the morning when he is sober & tell him how u feel!! Also tell him if he does this again he WILL b sleeping on the sofa!! Good luck!!
2007-01-19 17:24:34 · answer #7 · answered by Missy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, he did call when he wasn't home so if he doesn't walk in within the next hour and doesn't call then make him sleep on the couch. If he does come home soon, let him sleep in the bed and then discuss it with him tomorrow.
2007-01-19 17:10:54 · answer #8 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So he went out with the guys....BIG DEAL!!! Its not like hes screwing around with another woman or anything....LET IT GO... just make sure that you get some "adult time" away from your kids once in awhile with your friends and if you stay out a little late no biggie. He only does it every few months. So let him have his fun.
2007-01-19 17:11:09 · answer #9 · answered by Misti 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
u should be nice. as long as he dont do it all the time just let him be he is just blowin off some steam its quit normal for everyone to do it. let the man have his jollys for a day im sure he probally deserves it.
2007-01-19 21:33:01 · answer #10 · answered by Nate Dogg 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋