How do I say no to people who want my stuff?

Question

when I put on makeup or look for an outfit my friends or maids sometimes asks me for my things. but they are expensive stuff sometimes and I dont know how to say no without hurting everyones feelings!

Answer 1

Dont worry. Because even though you dont want to hurt their feelings, they are not taking yours into consideration by asking such things.
If that seems a bit far fetched then maybe you should consider the frivolty involved in such matters and try not to take it to heart. Obviously not too many people are of your same wealth to afford maids. No one should ever enter a relationship of any kind that they cannot afford to leave.
This same principle should apply to borrowing and lending things. Still, they are just things, so my suggestion is to compromise, if you want to be a good friend is that they would leave you with an amount of money for the item's equal value in cost to replace to barter back when they are done (and also gives them motivational boost to get it back to you promptly in serviceable condition as when received). kinda like pawning, but no extra cost. thus the friend. easy to execute.

Answer 2

The Filipino culture requires, when you come back from a trip, to hand out pasalubong - a little goodie for your friends. It can get to be a real pain when your suitcase is full of somebody else's junk.
When they ask me, I say I'll try to do my best, but can't really promise anything. Later I go to a market and buy lots of little and light things, for example 20 each of the little cellphone hanger-ornaments, for close friends a small wooden carving (glass breaks), a carton of cigarettes (pass them out by the pack - hey don't laugh. This is a country where you can buy them by the stick). For the expensive things, just say sorry - didn't have time, and instead give a little religious item - Philippines is more catholic than the Vatican.
I'm sure you can come up with a lot more items when you're on your trip.

BTW - you get stuck with thousands of little things that they give you from their trips. Another idea is to take that pasalubong and pass it on to somebody else ;-)

Answer 3

First of all, don't go cocky and "mayabang" around your peers(maids, firends). If you feel like giving the item, give it. But make sure you will not be upset when you give the item to that person. But trick that I do when my cousins ask if they can have one of my video game discs or any kind of stuff, I would just say, "I'm so sorry, but no, because this item was given to me by a special person. I don't give things away especially if it was given to me by a loved-one." I'm sure they will understand, for as long as you can say it i nthe most not-so-sarcastic way. It may be a lie, but it's a white lie.

Answer 4

Tell them to work harder and they can earn such luxuries for themselves. Explain to them that begging is a crime, using guilt as a weapon, and they must stop using such immoral force against you or you will retaliate in self-defense by firing your maids or ignoring your so called friends. A philosophy of the beggar is one of the major things wrong with the Philippines. Remember that the opposite of charity is justice; people get what they deserve.

Answer 5

Say to them, "What? Do I look like a store to you?"

OR

"Gee, I don't know. My dear old aunt who died a painful cancerous death gave that to me when she was on her deathbed, she asked me to never let go of it..."

OR

"Gee, do you think you can survive without it?"

I'm sorry, but that is very presumptuous behavior from those people. Their rudeness really doesn't deserve any sympathy or sensitivity. Personally, I think they need a reality check in the form of a blunt answer and a clear "NO FREAKIN' WAY."

Answer 6

Okey, here's the situation. If they will ask you for your things even though they know you are very much attached to it or you are currently using it, it only shows they are inconsiderate and selfish. Tell then that you will think about it first and your parents told you not to give away your stuff because it is making them angry. It's your things so basically you have to right not to give it away, and they don't have any right to be mad at you or feel bad about it.

Answer 7

I don´t know if there´s a way to say that and be sure you are not going to hurt their feelings.

I´d say something like: i´m sorry, i´ve decided to not lend my stuff anymore to avoid problems in the future. Please don´t take it personally, i just want to make sure nothing comes between our friendship.

Hope this helps.

Answer 8

Who cares about hurting everyones feelings. You need to learn how to set boundaries. Real freinds wont hate you for saying no. you need to set your boundaires ( ie i will do this, i will not do that ) and other people will respct it. I am famous for doing this and no one hates me for it, cause they know thats who i am. but when other ppl who let ppl push them around all the time and take advatange try to stand up they are afraid ppl will get mad or hurt feelings. Who cares its YOUR STUFF, you paid for it !!! tell them to get thier own damn stuff.

Answer 9

I see that you don't really want to lend them your things because you want to know how to say no. So, be true to yourself. Just say no. But say it politely. Say, "am sorry, i can't." They kept on borrowing stuff from you because they think that it's ok, when in fact it's not.

Answer 10

Glad you like it I had to work very hard to get this. This is where I got it. Maybe someday you can go and get it too if you work hard like I did .Or a dear friend gave this to me and I could never give this away.