girls and guys would you.....?

Question

Date a person of another race? Marry? Have children with? I did, but thats only one persons view, need several. I have to do an essay on a signifigant problem in the US today and racism is what I chose. So any comments will be appreciated. Whether I agree or not. Thanks

Answer 1

Years ago when I was still in the dating market I did date a black man, David. It never reached the sexual point, because I didn't feel attracted to him in that manner. He was a good, decent, intelligent and attractive man. I was disturbed that I didn't feel any spark at all for him. He was absolutely everything a lady could hope for in a BF, but still I felt nothing sexual for him. I had never had this problem before, and his race was the only thing that was truly different than all the other men I had dated. (Besides the fact he was a better person than most of the other men I had dated. Which you think would have encouraged my lust.) I spoke with a friend and asked her if she felt I was somehow racist because I didn't feel sexually attracted to him. She said that I wasn't a racist, but I had probably been conditioned to find only white men sexually appealing. (unconsciously of course) I was horrified at that idea.

I swear if I could have changed my feelings to have ANY sort of lust for this man, I would probably be married to him and not my husband. Perhaps it wasn't the color of his skin, maybe it was just simple chemistry...but I didn't get the chance to try again with another black man as I met my future husband shortly after ending it with David.

Answer 2

OOH this is a touchy one but would love to give my opinion. i am a black female first of all. I am married; however I have never dated outside of my race and did not want to much less have children with or even marry. Nothing against any other race, it is just that it sometimes is not worth it b/c of the drama some have to go through. Besides i just love my black men. People say you cant help who you fall in love with but i believe you can. You dont initially look at someone from afar and say "ooh i love them" you are attracted and then make the conscience decision to pursue it or not. Racism is and always will be apart of society. We have come a long way but still have a long way to go. I think that it is just not as outward as back then.
Then the flip side of that is that you do see alot more interracial dating now. I feel that if it easy for two people to just be together than that is great but if you have to constantly defend who you are, then it is not worth it. Stay blessed

Answer 3

Shoot I tried to be a black woman (avatar) on this thing for a couple of days and got tired of people (who answered after me) insulting what I had to say....
So I have to imagine that dating someone of another race would have major challenges. I've only dated 5 people - so I haven't, but only because no one asked, ha ha.
And I don't know that I'm the marrying type.
Major fear of the M word.

Answer 4

No, I wouldn't, for a couple of reasons, not my own racism.

First of all, our own feelings on the topic is our own to deal with, but when you have children, you lay the results of your decision on someone else; it becomes their lifelong problem to deal with. The fact that "we" may not have a problem with an interracial marriage doesn't mean the rest of society doesn't, and the rest of society is where our children will have to live. It seems to me that a mixed child isn't accepted by either race, and they don't know where to identify.

Another reason is, marriage is hard! With divorce rates at something like 50%, we need to do all we can to better our chances of making it to the "finish line". It's hard, but it's easier when you marry someone the most like yourself; when you share the same customs, traditions, religion, life experience, values, background, etc. I don't need to make my marriage more difficult by dealing with learning another culture, possibly another language, religion, learning to cook differently, and dealing with the prejudices of others (stress).

I don't know if it is still so, but I remember for a time they even frowned on allowing infertile white couples to adopt black infants; apparently it was thought it was better those babies had no home than a white one. Go figure.

Answer 5

I have dated people of other races...never got into a serious relationship....but if it did I would have gotten married and had children...racism is not as much as an issue as it was 30 yrs ago_

Answer 6

Well considering that I am married I would have to say no.

But if I were single, I wouldn't have a problem dating, marrying and having children with a woman of another race. To me the color of skin doesn't determine the person that they are. It's their heart. You don't fall in love with the color of their skin, you fall in love because of the person.

Answer 7

I would say no and heres why. I know our parents have told us no for ever but we had to see it for ourselves. I am christian roman catholic and i married a lebanese muslim. And its hard enough to have a marriage work between the same cultures. but then you throw two cultures in and there beliefs and there religion it just doesn't work. Also they treat women very differently than what were accustomed to. So I would say no marry your own kind. its far to difficult and you must change alot . and give up alot of your self in the meantime.

Answer 8

I would.In my own opinion,race doesn't matter what matters is that those two persons love one another,and care for each other.

Answer 9

I am not racist but, no I don't think I would. I don't care if some one else does. I would not look down on them. But I just think for me it is not the right choice.

Answer 10

Of course..color, culture..it doesnt matter. If you love someone, and they love you..go get married, make babies, and live a happy life.