my ex girlfriend is determined to fall out of love with me, how do i stop it?

Question

my exgirlfriend is 19 and recently started university and I am 36 work full time.
On 3rd January she split with me.
Over the 2 years we had a very good relationship.
I pretty much accused her of having an affair with a friend of ours in July.
In December she rang me to say she was worried that she had a hepatitus and whilst on the phone her voice started to quiver (worried she was going to die), the best I could say is 'I hope its not an excuse not to see my mum and dad'. She said this was the last straw.
Since weve split up, she stopped saying she loves me and stopped having sex, weve stopped sleeping together as she says that i see it as romantic and she sees it as friends (although a few days ago she slept with me in her lingerie).
She says she is determined to fall out of love with me because being in love with me hurts.
We text each other every day and on very good terms.
I am starting counciling (which she knows) because I have suffered from lack of trust for years.

actually, she didnt say shes determined to fall out of love with me, she said she wants to fall out of love with me.
She said shes happy to sleep round my place as long as its separately.

she has also said that she would have loved to have given me my first child

Answer 1

If she's your ex g/f she's already done it mate !!

Answer 2

Why are you determined to ruin this poor girl's life?

You are insecure because you know your insecurity is pushing her away and you are scared that she will leave you for someone who shows love without this possessiveness.

She is only young. She needs to do the normal things young people do, like going out with her mates and just enjoy being young. But here you come, with your 36yrs of insecurity hell bent on passing on your baggage to her.

It is unlikely that she even loves you and what she feels for you is dependancy. You have made her feel so insecure that the only person she feels comfortable around in lingerie is you. You are a typical insecure man. If you loved her you would let her go. She doesn't deserve to be in relationship full of misery and accusations. Have you heard of the self fulfilling prophercy? If you keep accusing her and she has done nothing, then she might as well cheat on you.

Are you not secure enough in yourself to get a girlfriend your own age? - scared that an older woman wouldn't take your accusations?

There you go.... saved you thousands in counselling!!! - leave her alone and work on your self esteem.

Answer 3

I can't read the entire thing but I get the gist; if you're 13 and some guy you won't marry or even remember ten years from now is your "#1 priority", you've got an issue. He isn't and he shouldn't be. How about focusing on growing up, going to school, and preparing for a future so guys will want you when you're in your 20s? The fact that his friends are jerks should tell you why dating guys like this will only lead to hurt.

Answer 4

Well all I can say is that you can't stop her from falling out of love with you. But you can try and win her over. For example, why not try talking about things, such as why she feels that way, and what you can do to make her change her mind. After all there is obviously a reason that she feels like she has to stop loving you and a reason why she feels it hurts too much to be in love with you.
So the best thing is to talk to her and find out what makes her feel like that and see whether there is anything you can do to change that.
I would suggest that seeing as she is now your ex that you shouldn't be expecting her to sleep with you or have sex with you. because thats not what ex's do. Ex's can be friends but sex and sleeping together implies that you are more than friends, and are infact still together.
So this is something that you two need to talk over and sort out together.

Answer 5

If she says that she is determined to "fall out of love with you,"
that is the final rejection right there.
How is that being on "very good terms?"
You said that she split with you in January. She split with you
because she doesn't love you.
Don't commit emotional suicide. Let her go.
Her words to you that you wrote above are hurtful things to say.
They tell me that she very much meant to hurt you.

When you attempt to be involved in a woman's life without her
consent, she sees you as a trespasser.
IF she cared about your love or good intentions, she would not
have split with you to begin with.
If she says she wants to fall out of love with you, That's not
what she means.She means that she doesn't love you.

She after dumping you has the gall to say that being in love with you hurts?? She is the one hurting you.
I hope you actually find a woman who shares your interests,
who loves what you love, and hates what you hate.
There's also no woman better than the one who wants to be
with you.
You should not have to love from a position of weakness.

Answer 6

you need to find someone your own age, you are to old for
this nonsense that why this is going on she 19, and she being
a young women her age, and you are older man that has to
let go of this, she your ex, and for the simple reason that you
are not together is simple she not looking at falling out of
love, she moving on, and she may alway have feeling for
you, but time to leave her along .. stop text her and move
on.

Answer 7

try and remember what you were both like when you first got together,how she fell inlove with you and the things you said and did,then use that to try and make her fall in love with you all over again.
or
give up and split properly tell her you dont want to see her as you need to get over her and get on with your life,if she carnt give you the love and tenderness you crave find someone else.

Answer 8

whoa ...big age difference but age is nothing but a number. Honestly, I think she still loves you and will always be in love with you, but I think you may be ready for a serious relationship and possibly heading towards marriage. She's only 19 and reaching the peak of her youth and I don't think she's ready for that commmitment and ready to be so serious at this point and time in her life. You honestly didn't do anything wrong, but I think the two of you are just at two different points in your lives.

Answer 9

i'm not sure whay your ex girlfriend is up to but she seems to want to mess with your head and just be friends with as kind of a back up incase somthing better dosen't turn up (i dont say this to make you feel bad its just my point of view ) i really think you both need time apart to figure out what you want and you do deserve better good luck x

Answer 10

1

Answer 11

omg! eeeewww your really really weird. ******* peda!
your a ******* peda! with no life, i would have you jailed, infact her parents should. leave her alone and let her do what she wants with her life you loser. you are taking advantage of, controlling and trying to ruin a young girls life just because you are a failure and are not man enough to carry real proper relationships, your pretty messed up. i hope you die and suffer a lot of grief you ******* peda! out ro ruin many peoples lives. you should die you ******* peda! all you do is ruin peoples lives! look at your age you ugly old ******* retard!

-NO you are a ******* Paedophile!