are all Asian men workaholics.. Chinese in particular? Also, if I were to marry him.. do they believe that woman's place is in the home. Any idea about how chinese men handle relationships.. btw, he has been in the US for a while, but his parents are very traditional. I am kind of scrared that they won't let us marry bc I am AA.. Maybe I just have too many self doubts.. any help would be appreciated.
2007-01-19 15:52:18 · 12 answers · asked by sweetiepie 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
btw.. before you say anything negative, I am a well educated, soft spoken, intelligent black woman.. so no negative feedback please.
2007-01-19 15:55:32 · update #1
Actually, in many Asian countries school is the most important aspect of people's lives, so, when Asians come to America, we all perceive them as "smart" and "extremely hard working" even though, in Asia, they're probably just normal, average people.
but, of course, all people are different... maybe this man really is a work-a-holic. who knows? just trust your heart and follow your instincts.
p.s. i don't mean to offend anyone by this post. if i do, I'm VERY sorry
2007-01-19 15:59:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, there are a billion and a half Chinese people, so it is hard to generalize. But you are dealing with an immigrant. To become an immigrant from Asia, his parents had to work extremely hard, become well-educated and learn English. It is not easy for Chinese people to immigrate to the US, so they had to be extremely hard working and ambitious. I don't know if this is typical of all Chinese people, but it is typically of immigrants.
China is opening up a lot as to how it treats women and what role it expects them to play. Your future in-laws could be very conservative or very open minded in that regard. You will have to talk to your boyfriend, look at his parents and figure out where they stand. I suggest you do that before you get engaged!
I imagine they WILL have trouble with you being African American. It's pretty common for first generation Asians to have difficulty getting their parents' approval for non-Asian spouses. The fact that you are AA and not white will make it even more difficult because of all the negative stereotypes here in the US that they may have assimilated. But then again, who knows, maybe he has very open-minded folks!
2007-01-20 00:03:51 · answer #2 · answered by blahblah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and your Chinese bf really want to be together, his parents and family will accept you after a while. The Chinese have been living a balanced and equal society for more than 2,000 years, so I guess they are doing things right. Sure, they are high achievers and hard workers, but they are kind and accepting of other cultures, in my experience. I find their lack of ego hard to take, but as a Christian I SHOULD find that a good thing. We North Americans are such rugged individualists and we are very demonstrative and outspoken, which goes against the Asian way. I remember my daughter's friend's mother being shocked when I hugged her at Christmas. Chinese (maybe not all) don't hug and kiss publicly much. Well, good luck.
2007-01-20 00:02:02 · answer #3 · answered by Miz Teri 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i don't really know the answer to that question.
but i do have alot of Korean, Japanese, Vietnamese, etc. friends and they do seem to be above average in school,
and most of which own a family business that the work in a few days a week.
one of my buddies in particular is from India, and he is very intelligent.
and i hope i do not sound too judge mental by that as well,
it is an honest question in your part, and an honest answer.
2007-01-20 00:05:56 · answer #4 · answered by sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't sound racist. That is a really good question. I do think that older Chinese people look down on mixed couples. Most people ,if they were honest, probably do. I know that I do. But I am not a racist either. I think it should be stripes for stripes and spots for spots. Not stripes for spots. Great questions though !
2007-01-20 00:05:32 · answer #5 · answered by ChrisJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the first steps to a good relationship is communication...so go on girl just talk to your man! If you love him and he loves you and you discuss important things before you marry, you will be fine! I wish you the very best from one educated sista to another! Go for the happiness!
2007-01-20 00:01:20 · answer #6 · answered by chestnutlocs1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are in any way skeptical about the marriage, then you should postpone the wedding, or get out completely. This is the rest of your life you're talking about here, and it has to feel right. Good Luck, I hope it works out for you.
2007-01-20 00:03:08 · answer #7 · answered by johN p. aka-Hey you. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do seem to have a lot of doubts,
but those will pass...even the Mom& Dad thing.
The only important question is..........
Do you want to marry him, cause you love him??
Everything else will work itself out. Have Faith.
2007-01-20 00:04:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to meet more asians.
Some of them are hard working, and those are the ones you notice, but most of them are just average-trying-to-skate-by-like-the-rest-of-us people.
2007-01-20 00:09:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're the one with the guy, why don't you ask him
of his intentions. If you don't know him , why in the
hell are you thinking about marrying him. Sounds
like you might be a problem for him.
2007-01-20 00:00:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋