Black men and Black women what happened?

Question

I am a young black male that’s currently attending my first year of college. I am driven to succeed and respectful to all women. I have my own business and far from the stereotypical black male that black women claim to hate. Yet, day after day I hear things that black men are sorry and always cheat. I have yet to cheat on any of the girlfriends I have been with and never plan on doing so. I don’t believe in cheating because I would hate for it to happen to me. But, most of the black women I hear base their judgment off of some looser guy that they been with and now call all Black Men sorry. I for one am tired of hearing this and shocked to see that so many black women treat us like dogs. They complain so much about it that if the right black man would approach them they would have their pride shoved so far up their asses that they wouldn’t realize it. I admit that a lot of men do cheat, but remember that everything men do, women do. Maybe not as much, but ya’ll do.

Has this world brainwashed the black community to think that the only black women out there are video girls and single moms with dead beat black men? I am tired of the jokes about black men are sorry. I’m tired of the men treating girls like a sexual game. I’m sick of seeing black men being sorry, and im tired of the black women falling for the wrong guy. It’s making me sick that the black community has come to this.

Even shows such as Girlfriends shows exactly how a lot of the black women think. Even songs on the radio have so many black girls feeling like they need to have a man on the side just incase the other one doesn’t do right. (BEYONCE). What ever happened to both sides treating each other with respect and dignity?

What do you think Black Men and Black Women? What happened to us?

Answer 1

I think there is a tonne of animosity between black women and black men. Several factors including some of the ones you mentioned are to blame. So is our history. But all is not lost... I'm married to a black man, and we have a beautiful young family, and know several young black married couples just like us.

Answer 2

I don't defend black men because they are black men. I defend the men that I know and many of them just so happen to be black. I can't defend someone that I don't know because you never know what people will do now days. I have a great father, brother, boyfriend, pastor, uncles, cousins, etc. Those are the men that I defend, the people that I actually know. I guess the only reason why I do not feel abandoned by black men when something happens to me, a black woman, is because I only depend on the men that I actually know. I am not trying to say that there are no weak black men, but don't forget about the ones that step up to the plate and handles their business.

Answer 3

The media of mass ignorance has happened, and you are suffering just as everyone else is.

Not only do people of other races think that's the way black men are, young black boys think that's how they should grow up, and young black girls think that's the kind of guy they need, but like all women, they want one that's faithful too, and unfortunately, the trend does not place that among the goals of the males. I'm not speaking for all of them of course, but it's a definite trend that that is occurring.
These are just people that lack a certain level of free thought, and have clearly not self actualized yet. There are people like that in every racial community, however, those kinds of people see race, and it makes different races grow in different directions, culturally.

You, however, clearly see beyond race and realize that it is not something that defines a person, and soon enough you will find a woman that sees things the way you do. I have similar frustrations as you do; just try to see this situation as a blessing. This way you won't have to worry about finding a closed minded, conformist individual. Although it maybe harder to find companionship in this society now, at least you know that the companionship you do find is totally pure and legitimate.

Answer 4

As a black women I would like to say the following:

1) White women and ALL women think men are dogs! It seems as though you have only been a victim of this from black women because you are only associating with black women. I have plenty of white friends who think ALL men are dogs. Most white women are not going to say "White men are dogs, they simply say men are dogs." If you would braoden your horizens you would be able to better understand that there aee woman of all races that think this way about men in general...as a species! Its like doing a servey, you cant do an unbiased survey without testing ALL of your subjects. You've only tested black women, so your observation is limited and therefore somewhat biased.

Personally, I dont judge one man's actions for the mistakes another man has made. Unfortunately thats not the case with most WOMEN.

As far as BEYONCE goes and the whole lyrical influence, in case you didnt know...Beyonce's current single "Irreplaceable", which is driving the whole women empowerment thing right now was written by a man! Yep, Ne-yo wrote it and Beyonce admitted it.

Answer 5

I know a few hard working brothers that take care of their families and are real stand up men but to be honest, I had a dead beat father and so did 85% of the people from my old neighborhood so its hard for me to defend something I never had and don't see much. That's why I used the word a FEW because I really only know a handful of people who actually had a good father but hey that's just my environment, not all blacks.
This is not to insinuate that anything is wrong with brothers, but to be honest I have more male friends then I do female friends and I can only think of maybe a small portion of those brothers who don't cheat. I know men that take care of their responsibilities well but still cheat. I know brothers that come home every night and only cheat every once in a while but they still cheat. I'm not trying to bash brothers because I love them dearly and put no other race of men above them but I can't lie just because brothers have been historically railroaded and stereotyped. I have to speak the truth as I see it and frankly, a lot of brothers have been discriminated against and stereotyped but yet they turn around and do the same thing to their sisters. I'm a quiet sister that has always had to try to combat the stereotypes of sisters being loud, attitudy, fat and materialistic. So now you know how we feel.

Answer 6

Nothing happened. No matter how much they tell.I'm not with that putting black men down.I am a black women who will marry a black man and have black children.

They tell you because you rather date inside you race that you're racist. Nothing is wrong with interracial dating but i wish people would stop acting like it some new thing. I have always seen far more interracial couples in movies than black. Like human torch will most likely be dating a white women. Jamie foxx (who plays a educated successful black man)wife will probably be a white women in the new upcoming movies Annie.Scandal an educated black women so happens to be the mistress of a married white president.
I think you should date whom ever you like.And nothing is wrong with interracial dating.And nothing is wrong with black love.

I love seeing black couples because it feels like Home. And this year i've seen way more interracial couples than black.And it does makes you think "Damn what happened."Especially when it feels like the whole interracial thing is being stuffed down your throat.

Another thing i noticed is that when black people play a successful educated rich person in a film their spouse is always white. And than they show statistics that Black people who graduate with college degrees are more likely to marry outside their race. Like Black people who broke out of the "stereotype" is not good enough for the "stereotypical"black person.

But all i know is that my husband will most likely be black. I don't care if i'm called racist or Prejudice but Something about a Black that catches my attraction and pulls more closer to them. And because maybe they have a better understanding of what it is like to be black. Black men truly have my heart.

Answer 7

well i understand were your coming from to a certain extent ...and just to let you know I'm actually and African American who wants to be something in life and i actually have goals i want to reach and i know i have to work for them and i don't expect ANYONE to just hand me a thing!! I also believe that your a product of your society take me for example i was raised around a majority of Mexicans and Asians so basically i don't act like "the norm for black people"??? i speak properly i don't like rap music.. and I'm told i act white too.. i think most of the black people you describe are that way because they don't know any better... and usually they don't have anyone to teach them anything better... and they were raised in that type of society or a society were people act just like them and have the same mentality so how do you expect them to act any better and most of the people who make it out the ghetto and make something of themselves have had a seed planted by someone...that showed them that there was more to life then the cards they've been dealt so those people get lucky and strive for more.. Most of the black men that black women are talking about are only the ones they've dated and if they didn't act so ghetto and like they had no sense maybe they could attract one of the good black men that would treat them like there worth a million bucks .. but if you act like trash you attact other trash or birds of a feather flock together ..? or here's another example i don't like most black guys because most of them that i see are the ghetto type with no goals ... but i know that theres some good ones out there and if i happen to come across one that i like then ok ...

Answer 8

I believe there is a lack of difference between low class blacks and those who are better quality people. We're just kind of all lumped together but there is very much a difference.

Answer 9

I think that it is just a sign of the times. Just as everything else has changed in this world, so has the values of people in general. Sorry to say that the changes have not all been for the better. The generation of men and women that upheld certain standards are all passing away.

Answer 10

I think a lot of Black women have low self esteem, due to them having bad or nonexistant relationships with their fathers. When they become adults, they chase after abusive men who cheat on them with other women.

They could date nice monogamous men, but they make a SUBCONSCIOUS DECISION NOT TO, because they see those men as "unmanly" - instead, they date the playas and the woman beaters.

Unfortunately, Black women don't have a monopoly on low self esteem - you see the same thing in Latina, Asian and White women.