Is it out of laziness?
is it an excuse?
Do you/they not see how damaging this actually is to a child.
2007-01-19 15:19:35 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They do not see how damaging it does to a child. I also think some of them are scared of being single again_
2007-01-19 15:25:28 · answer #1 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
In society nowadays, seeing two parents still together is getting to be more of a rarity. The thing is, a lot of people want to stay together for their children so the children can benefit from having a mother and father who are both there for them.
The problem with this, however, is that it is actually more damaging to the children when they see two people who cannot stand one another and constantly bickering. It's no way to provide a stable upbringing for a child of any age.
Yes, I understand that it's legally less of a hassle to stay married. But just as people are getting divorced for the wrong reasons nowadays, there are just as many staying married for the wrong reasons.
Children need two strong parents. And if the only way to have that strength is for the two parents to not be together, then that's how it should be. Nine times out of ten, at the absolute minimum, the one thing the parents agree on is that they love their children. They should therefore build on that and each do their part to ensure that their children lead happy, healthy, and productive lives by serving as examples and role models.
2007-01-19 23:29:36 · answer #2 · answered by White Dude X 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How damaging it is or isnt depends on the relationship of the parents. If they get on very well but are better as friends then bringing the kids up together is a better idea to my mind. If on the other hand there is always anger and unhappiness in the home then they should live seperately. I am good friends with my childrens father and the way we do things works well. I share a house but we have seperate rooms and if we see other people its not in front of the kids untill such time as one of us finds true love with someone else.
2007-01-19 23:54:46 · answer #3 · answered by vmmc_64 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of times it's easier to stay. You love your kids so you want them to have a whole family, mommy and daddy together. It's so hard to leave when there are kids involved. It's usually with the best intentions, although it's not always the best thing in the longrun. I speak from experience.
I'm sure some people stay when it's cheaper to keep her as the saying goes. Some people have a lot to lose financially if they split up the home.
2007-01-20 00:25:09 · answer #4 · answered by Just Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no unfortunately they dont see the damage, they are thinking that they are doing the right thing for the child.. so although it may not be your perfect answer they are human and make mistakes atleast your parents loved u enough to try and save u the hurt they thought would of been worse if they split up while u were a child.. it has nothing to do with laziness.. or an excuse its about trying to love your kids enough to do what u think is best for them even if it ends up that its not..
2007-01-19 23:24:29 · answer #5 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's a legitimate reason. Children do get affected by their parents' separation as well. But the reason can also be denial of other excuses; that something is wrong with themselves. In addition, who goes into a marriage knowing it's going to fail? And when you fall in love and have kids with the person you think you'll be with for the rest of your life, then suddenly you're faced with divorce, it's not so easy to just up and leave this individual you vowed your love and life to for eternity.
At the same time it's up to the parents and their maturity to not fight in front of their kids. Teach a child how to cope and not to give up on love and commitment.
P.S. It also depends on the situation. Some people want to divorce when they feel as if they're not getting what they want but if it involves abuse, then that's a legitimate reason to leave.
*People tend to forget that love and marriage involves hard work. When sh*t gets rough they're not willing to stand by their lover.
2007-01-19 23:27:41 · answer #6 · answered by GoddessJeneffer 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I can only tell you that I did not stay for the kids, it was hell for me and it would have affected the kids. Probalbly the people who do stay together think that it is best but it is not the best, you would only be teaching your children that it is ok to be unhappy for them, you can have a good life with your kids without living with the other parent, I hate my ex but the kids love him and I do not have to deal with his crap and I get to be happy and if both parents are happy then so are the kids.
2007-01-19 23:31:19 · answer #7 · answered by twinki 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Usually it is because they think it is best for the kids when in reality it is not what is best for them at all and sometimes divorce is the better option for the kids and everyone involved as kids dont need to see parents fighting and arguing all the time in front of them.
2007-01-19 23:59:47 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Geno. But the key to it all is NOT fighting in front of the kids, respecting each other in front of the kids, and working together to raise the kids in a stable environment. Unfortunately, when parents are miserable, it shows all too well.
2007-01-19 23:44:11 · answer #9 · answered by TPhi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents stayed together for me and my brother but it didnt last. My parenst did that because they were scared of what would happen if they got a divorce because when they separated it caused a big damage on my brother's and mine life.
2007-01-20 01:53:19 · answer #10 · answered by Unloved4ever 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They feel that they are doing the best thing for the child but instead they are really screwing the child up with all the fussing, fighting and plain uneasiness living in the house with them.
2007-01-23 20:36:43 · answer #11 · answered by caribbeanmeme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋