I want to get married with a guy who doesn't belong to my caste and my parents are not ready please help me and save me and my loves life. My parents have arranged my wedding in July with a guy whom I do't like at all. We both earn sufficient money for our livelihood. And quite educated. I just don't want to go against my parents decison but I am unable to convince them. If you could convince them then that would be of very much help for me and my Love. Please convey ypur support and make my voice nations voice. Please help me and my love out.
2007-01-19 14:59:33 · 19 answers · asked by PRIYANKA S 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
I have studied the Indian caste system and wish you the best of luck in convincing your parents. Your parents' beliefs are outdated and baseless, and they should learn to accept other human beings without attaching labels. I have met a lot of decent and fair Indians, but overall, India is the most prejudice nation in the world due to its caste system.
Just because your parents hold beliefs that are baseless, it doesn't mean that you need to do as they wish and live the rest of your life with someone that you are not in love with. Grow a back bone and live your life however you want.
2007-01-19 15:12:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well my father told me in such a situation you have to learn to love, but what i said to him is that i don't want to learn to love because that means i'll never really love them until i learn, and i'm not a quick learner. jokingly i such things; he didn't find it funny. there are a bunch of reasons why an indian girl shouldn't go through with an arranged marriage, especially if it is for money or to raise ones caste or what not. the bride burnings that could result should be enough to convince any parent. overall, i guess just put them on a guilt trip like indian parents usually do to their kids. maybe they'll feel bad and express some compassion towards the issue. there are plenty of bollywood movies to gather inspiration from.
2007-01-19 23:13:34 · answer #2 · answered by Iscarabaid 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just don't go through with it. tell the other guy that you don't love him or cant because your heart isn't ruled by anyone other than your love. maybe then he might call it off so you wont have to. or if that doesn't suit you tell you parents that you wont be happy if you go through with the marriage. that probably wont be effective but it is worth a shot. however, how sure are you that this guy that you have met is worth all the trouble? not to dismember you love but reflect upon it and maybe then you'll find your strength so that you can tell your parents, persistently, that if they cared about your life and happiness at all that they would see this arranged marriage though custom, will not be good. there will be an absence of love and an absence of love will produce nothing.
2007-01-19 23:28:38 · answer #3 · answered by Flabbergasted 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discuss the available options with your parents but before you do ask yourself these questions
1 Am I good in choosing what is right for me?
2 Are the things worked out the way I thought?
3 What happens when my own decisions do not work out?
4 Who is there to help me all time?
5 For how many years do I know my boyfriend compare to my parents?
6 What would happen If my chosen boyfriend dumps me when I am pregnant?
Off course you know the choice is yours and you alone face the consequences for the choices you make.
You will be influenced by lover, friend, relative, neighbours and even strangers but end of the day choice is yours. You make the choice and you face the consequences.
2007-01-19 23:27:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why not?
See, things are very clear in the case of your love and your proposal for a marriage with your lover,except the caste factor.
We are marching towards a caste -less society and it is funny your parents fail to understand and weigh the merits and demerits of your proposal for marriage with your lover.The favourable factors are:
1) You like him and love him most.
2) Both of you earn handsomely to run a decent and comfortable family life.
3)You don't like the guy arranged by your parents for getting married to him.
The negatives are:
1) You don't want to go against the wishes of your parents.
2)Your parents are adament in notallowing you to get married to your lover.
After all it is your life and it is your right to decide it as you are an adult.
Try to be patient and covince your parents,if possible with the help of wellwishers,a psychiatrist or elso seek legal help.
2007-01-23 14:29:43 · answer #5 · answered by NQS 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the guy who love this girl. And please belive its not an infatuation. I really love and care about her. I don't know why her familly doesn't like me. Is it the caste deciding factor for my marriage ? I started loving her even without knowing her and then I realised that she is the one with whom I can share everyting and she is the perfect match for me. Suddenly the caste system came in the way of love.
Just think that who will be happy if she gets married with the guy with whom she doesn't want to talk even.
Me -No
That Guy -No (Because she doesn't like him)
She -No
Her parents -No (They can't see their daughter crying)
Please tell me who is going to get benefitted if she gets married with that guy whom she never liked and will never like.
2007-01-19 23:51:10 · answer #6 · answered by navinkumarsrivastav 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no a middle class girl is rarely allowed to love.
your parents are the rulers here. i know, because they are tons n tons of stories of ppl who fell in love n their parents told them a blatant "NO!!!"
if you want to follow love, if u want to live with this man you love forever, and are convinced that he is the ONE then these are the consequences.
1. your parents may disown you.
2.society may condemn you
3.you may get no assistance from your parents because you didn't obey them
4. they will blame you when a younger sibling or relative follows your path
5. your marriage may not be as successfull as u imaginged, and then u will have no where to go.
6. you will have mean, nasty in-laws
7.your future husband may be a freak..and hes waiting to show it after marriage when u can't escape unless u divorce him and then u cannot go home(they're disowning you rmr?) and u probably wont get married bacuse most ppl won't let their kids marry divorcees
these things may or may not happen. but if they do, are you willing to risk it all for this man? are you willing to tolerate everything from society? is it worth it?
or is it better to just try and love this new man they have put in front of you?
i belive in love. i belive that love happens, and alot of **** happens with it, but you gotta hold on.
you can choose to follow your heart and and dive into the unpredictable or follow your mind and live in the predictable.
good luck
2007-01-22 05:35:02 · answer #7 · answered by het.mari 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are no boundaries to love, its the expectation of parents that's coming your way. They are the one who looked after your smallest of requests and cared about you every time you fall sick or demanded attention. So its quite natural they will have some kind of expectations from their daughter.
My sincere advice is that you try to put in your position and perspective in front of your parents and seek their advice, I hope they will understand that their girl is thinking from head not heart.
2007-01-19 23:28:50 · answer #8 · answered by Sammy76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are the answer of your own question.love lives for all life.we can not end love.marriage is the result of love.your parents also love you.so they must understand your love.money, status is the temporary things which may be vanquished in any time.but the amaze of love never can die.your parents should be practical.
i hope they will go through the road of infinity,not through the road of heartless amusing.God bless you,
2007-01-22 13:27:39 · answer #9 · answered by writabrata g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is sacred and should not be forced. You or anyone should be able to choose a spouse; it doesn't matter where you're from or what your social status is. If your parents love you, they would want you to be happy and marry someone you love.
You are an adult - you need to stand your ground. God be with you.
2007-01-19 23:10:47 · answer #10 · answered by childofGod 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋