I know that i'm only 15 and i might just be at a phase, i'm not even sure if i'm gay, but just thinking about the possibility that i might be, (since i have been sexually attracted to males for the past 3 years), i just can't take it. i never chose to be this way, and i never wanted to be this way, and just thinking about telling my parents, it just crushes, i've actually been having these suicidal thoughts, i just think that i would rather be dead than be miserable for the rest of my life. I know people are just going to say that i need to accept it, but i seriously think that i can't, i already hate myself that i might be and i wouldn't be able to take it if my parents would hate me for being like this.What's the point in living if all you have in your future is most of the world hating you because of something i never even wanted.What should i do?
2007-01-19 14:59:25 · 15 answers · asked by Martin 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I am a mother. If you were my child I would want you to tell me. If you kill yourself over this your parents will be forever devastated and wonder why you couldn't trust them to tell them. They will forever blame themselves. This is your life, be brave and straightforward, you didn't ask to be this way. No, they won't be thrilled initially, as you were not, but they will support you because they brought you into this world and love you. Allow them time to digest it and support you. You may hate your life now but once you accept who you are you will meet good friends and have a good life. Say a prayer for perseverance and do the right thing. You are not alone in this world and it is only a problem till you come out and allow others to accept you too. Who's perfect anyway? I wish you all good things in life.
2007-01-19 15:14:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well don't kill yourself for a start. One of the things about depression is it makes you feel like there is no way out, things will never change, you will never be happy, you will never be accepted and you will never be able to function in the world the way you would like to. But that is a symptom of a disease, it's not the reality of your situation, believe me.
You aren't going to be miserable your whole life and there is more in your future than being hated.
You need to get some counselling. Any gay support group or helpline could point you in the right direction. Once you've found something that helps alleviate the depression you'll have a clearer head and be able to find a way to accept being gay and move on with your life.
2007-01-19 15:38:08 · answer #2 · answered by helehelo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing I suggest is that if you have a counselor at your school or a clergyman, you should go to this person for support.
Believe me, life is far to precious to give up in such a fashion. After all, you are a young person, and there is a whole wide wonderful world out there, just waiting for you.
It is normal to have a certain level of curiousity regarding members of the same sex, and even if you should happen to be gay, it doesnt have to be the end of your world. The rabbis say that each life saved is a sanctification of God, and your parents may not even react as you fear they will.
But whatever decision you make, dont make a hasty one. There is time for reflection. I myself faced the same question over 30 years ago after being assaulted on a regular basis for 8
years by an older male sibling. I too considered ending my life.
In fact, I had three unsuccessful attemtpts before I realized that I had a life to live, and whatever my orientation was, I had the right to live it, and so, my friend, do you.,
2007-01-19 15:12:26 · answer #3 · answered by Jeffrey V 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't do anything to hurt yourself.
if you think you might really do something call a suicide hotline.
I know it's hard for you right now but it will get better.
If you can secretly (I say secretly because I know that you do not want to confront the issue of your sexuality with your parents or pretty much anyone you know right now) get into therapy (they do have free therapy just call the county health administration or look it up online) maybe through that you could also get into a group thereapy with other teens who feel the same way.
I know it can be difficult to come to terms with being gay if you do not feel like you would have anyone's support or understanding but that is not the case.
You will be provided people who will care for you no matter what.
Even if that turns out not to be your own family.
You never know your family might surprise you and be more accepting than you think.
But if they are not just know you will meet other peopl in your life who will fill those rolls and needs.
Know that this will pass and you will be happy again.
You are not alone but you must reach out to get the help you need.
You can come to terms with this.
You made it here.
Now take the next step.
Call someone in your area who can help you.
Look online for support for gay teens in your area you need to talk to someon face to face if possible or at least over the phone.
Don't wait.
Good luck to you son.
2007-01-19 15:34:17 · answer #4 · answered by octopussy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People are going to be talking about you until the day you die.. whether you are gay, strait, bi, black,white,fat,skinny,smart,dumb, rich or poor... At some point you can't let others live/make your life. I am a college student.. and I know first hand what you are going through.. Only a few people know right now.. But the biggest thing is that you keep your head up.. You deserve to be on this earth just as much, if not more than anyone who whould somehow become offended that you are gay.. People who care about you, live you unconditionally.. not sure where you are.. but the furthur north you go.. the more accepting the people.. so treat yourself.. there is nothing wrong with you!!! I want to say that to you a million times.......
2007-01-19 15:09:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We all felt like you do at some point. Seriously. I'm not going to tell you that it will be easy for you...I will tell you that it will get much better...No you didn't choose to be this way...but that's what life is...your happiness is your responsibility and you have to learn to find your happiness in what you are. You will get over this and go on to having a fun, productive life. But maybe for now you need some help....see a doctor..if you are feeling suicidal then they can and will help....you have to start by telling someone..find a doctor or call a GLBT center and ask to see a gay doctor....I f they should give you antidepression medication...take it...they have really good drugs that work really quickly now..there is no reason that you have to feel depressed...and everybody(everybody) needs a crutch at some point in their life. You sound like me when I was your age. Believe me if I could take some of your pain away I would....but I can't...in any case you will go on to have a rich and good life. Not everybody hates gay people...don't pay attention to the sh it you read on here. I have many friends gay and straight and it all works out. Be nice to yourself. You didn't choose to be gay...but you can choose to be a lot of things.
2007-01-19 16:37:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are looking at things in the worst possible ways and thinking that nothing is going to go right for you in the future. I have been where you are at now, and things do get better. The world doesn't hate you, and don't listen to those who are ignorant and realize that there are many people who will accept you for who you are. You should not hate yourself and love yourself enough to ask for help when you need it.
2007-01-19 15:25:16 · answer #7 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's the wonderful thing about life. I know just how tremendous it can be to have to admit to something you don't want to at your age for I was 15 before as well.
The beauty of this is that you can accept that you have the attraction for men and STILL choose to not engage in homosexual activity if its going to have you feeling this bad.
That's what I said to myself and I found comfort in dealing with it that way. Counseling is advisable as well. I strongly urge you to live sweetheart because my being a mother and having sons, i wouldn't want them to kill themselves behind this matter.
You don't have to divulge this information to your parents now because you're still not sure but PLEASE GET SOME HELP IN DEALING WITH THIS CONFIDENTIALLY.
You're in my thoughts and I have confidence that you will decide wisely and eventually pull through this hard time, ok?
*BIG HUG*
2007-01-19 15:37:35 · answer #8 · answered by lenise1973 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should get a counsellor. Can you talk with a teacher or your parents or someone, to get yourself some help? Please try. A counsellor may not try to change any sexual orientation. Rather, a good one will help you to accept yourself, whatever happens.
One thing, I need to point out to you.... if you kill yourself, your parents and the rest of your family is never going to be able to live with that. What a sad thing that would be. Please don't do that to them.
2007-01-19 15:10:12 · answer #9 · answered by kiwi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to do many things!
Find a gay positive counselor.
Become involved with a gay teen support group.
Talk to your doctor about treatment for depression.
Believe it or not, you DO have a future. Don't deprive the world of what you have to offer and don't deprive yourself of what the world has to offer you.
2007-01-19 15:06:52 · answer #10 · answered by castle h 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋